3 Tips to Keep Things Straight Up

August 26, 2005 at 12:00 am

We all want love, sure. But sometimes, when it comes to relationships, the phrase ‘be careful what you wish for’ comes to mind. It’s not all flowers and candy and romantic, candlelit dinners. Love is hard work, and let’s face it, most of us don’t know exactly how to behave (or how our partner should behave) once we find it. If you’re having trouble in your relationship and wondering if you’re headed for splitsville, or even if things are sailing along smoothly for the moment, it’s important to consider the following:

Don’t mistake arguing for ending things
Oftentimes, we think that struggle indicates things aren’t working, and sometimes it does. But the simple truth is people disagree. We’re not always meant to get along and the ability to argue can be a sign of a healthy relationship – one where you each express your opinions, needs and desires. However, remember that emotional or physical abuse and arguing are not the same thing. Abuse should never be tolerated. Too many nit-picky arguments probably also mean that it’s time to reassess your situation. That doesn’t necessarily mean ending things, but a relationship renovation is probably in order.

You’re not always right…

This may seem like a bad thing since we all like to get our way as often as possible, but compromise is the true art of a relationship and everybody’s gotta do it… sometimes. If your problems are stemming from one or the other of you always wanting/getting their own way, come up with a strategy so that you get equal say and split the differences when you disagree or want different things. Making your partner happy should make you happy and vice versa – so in the end, when you compromise, no one loses after all.

Relationships aren’t ever easy. There are a zillion little things that go into making them work every day, not to mention several really big ones, most important of which might be mutual respect and friendship. If you can’t trust your partner to be your friend, then how can you expect anything more from them? Remember also, that love is a two way street. Take responsibility for yourself and your actions. You’ll be respected for it, even when you do make mistakes.

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