Love’s Dark Side

May 29, 2008 at 5:00 pm

Ah, love… when we think about it most of the time, it’s rosy. A place where comfort and passion blend to create a feeling we all want, need and crave. But what about when love turns bad? Obsession, cruelty, jealous rages, infidelity – all of these are part of the romantic road as much as (if not more than!) candlelight dinners and lust-filled nights.

The good news is, love’s dark side can be categorized astrologically. If you know what negatives to look for with each sign, then you can avoid falling into their traps! Below is your guide to the dark side of each sign in love.

Gemini
When a sign is represented by twins – that’s right, two people – duplicity can rightly be expected. What will shock you with Gemini, however, is the degree to which their personalities can be split. The true pitfall? You’ll get so caught up in their positive qualities that you will barely be able to believe the depth of their negative ones. This will only be complicated by their propensity for dishonesty. That’s right – Gemini is a liar for the ages, and can spin a web of deception so tight that even the most astute, grounded (even psychic!) individual may find themselves at least temporarily fooled. The only way to avoid this sign’s deep dark side is to be aware of it – and to check yourself at the first sign something’s up.

Toxic pairing: Cancer, Taurus and Capricorn can spell trouble when paired with The Twins… And despite initial passion (which, like Gemini themselves, can be deceiving) Scorpio would probably do best to steer clear.

Cancer
It’s no coincidence that Crabs have claws… claws that can either allow Cancer to cling, or give you a painful pinch. The thing with the crab is that they’re sensitive. So sensitive that in their lowest form, their actions in love are motivated by fear and past hurts. This leads them to a.) try to monitor your every second and demand you stay home at all times with them (don’t ever leave their side) or b.) retreat into their shells and ignore you – leaving you floating alone out at sea. In fact, being shut out unexpectedly is the real danger with Cancer, who will stick in a dissatisfying situation for a long time before abandoning ship, or run from a real connection if they’re not ready to be vulnerable. In either situation, the kicker is that they’ll never explain and never look back. To steer clear of the pinch, make a Cancer feel needed and loved, but don’t stay if they seem to lose interest.

Toxic pairing: Gemini, Aries and Libra might not fare well here nor will fellow Cancers. In this case the similarities – and sensitivities – may be insurmountable!

Leo
In the animal kingdom, lions travel in prides. In human existence, they travel with it. In other words, self-centered is an understatement with Leo in their lesser forms and dating one such cowardly lion can be a master class in ego-stroking. In this vision, you will become secondary, a mere day player in the lion’s life-play. The worst part is, since they’re always performing, Leo can be excellent actors. After all, practice makes perfect. Point is, you may be so caught up in their charm and skill that you don’t notice you’re one of many fans… and can be disposed of (albeit dramatically) at any moment. To avoid the lower lion’s snare, keep your head screwed on straight and take note of attention-seeking and self-serving behavior that goes beyond the norms of decency. A little give and take goes a long way – and don’t let them do all the taking.

Toxic pairing: Capricorn, Taurus and Aquarius would do well to stay out of this jungle, as might Pisces, who needs a partner much more than a pet project (as they can sometimes be pet projects themselves).

Virgo
With a penchant for perfection, popular perception dictates that the Virgin is angelic and sweet, but make no mistake – a dark side runs deep here and can be quick to rear its ugly head in even the most evolved Virgo, particularly when stressed. How does that translate you ask? Criticism. A hair out of place, a misused phrase, a laugh that is slightly too loud (or god forbid a goofy noise – even inadvertent)… when with a Virgo not aligned with their best self you will find yourself quite literally picked apart. What’s worse (and really cuts to the core if you’re on the end of their laser-beam) is that the Virgin does this with singeing accuracy and little in the way of diplomacy. No mincing words. In short, you’re not perfect… and they’re never going to let you forget it. To avoid this trap, put a Virgo gently (or not so gently) in their place when they hurt you. But if you decide to stay, accept that a certain amount of analysis is part of the deal.

Toxic pairing: Pisces, Sag and Gemini might struggle with the Virgin, as will Libra, whose very best qualities will drive nit-picking Virgo to the height of annoyance.

Libra
If passive-aggressive behavior, condescension and bottled up anger that results in poorly-timed barbs and fickle infidelity doesn’t sound appealing to you, than look out for a Libra in their lesser form. The balanced one – in anything less than top shape – is actually completely unbalanced, and without even realizing it will mine the depths of your tolerance as they take stabs at you (verbal and gestural) for merely being yourself. This is because Libra has a tendency to idealize their partners – and as soon as mates fall short in any way (which they inevitably do), they’ll become disillusioned. To deal with Libra (and their unfair expectations) is to call them out on their crap and don’t stand for their outside flirtations. While infidelity is appealing to these airy creatures, partnership is their preferred state – particularly if you’re the one who may leave or stray.

Toxic matches: Scorpio, Cancer and Pisces are too weighty for Libra, despite what can be initial attraction (particularly for the Fish). Likewise, Virgo’s detail-oriented nature will foster the disillusion that drives Libra to the dark side.

Scorpio
The darkest of the dark, a personally unattuned Scorpio can be any sign’s worst nightmare… wrapped up in a sexual fantasy. That’s the catch. These alluring stingers when in bad shape are master manipulators who can make a lover feel like they see to their soul – only to turn around and destroy them. Worst of all is a Scorpio scorned. Indeed, if you’ve broken their trust, even the sweetest Scorpio will likely never forget it… and they will get you back in the end. If you don’t want to be run around in circles – or drawn into a vortex of pain that somehow still leaves you wanting more, even as you race away in the other direction – pay attention for cracks in Scorpio’s quiet reserve. A peek of the firebrand underneath may be the glimpse into hell you need to stay away.

Toxic matches: Gemini, Sag and Aquarius partnerships with Scorpio will likely lead to no good end as arguments of the fiercest kind will ensue. Meanwhile, Libra sparks the scorpion’s possessive (read: scary) side… which is something no sign needs to see.

Sagittarius
With an inkling for adventure and an aversion to settling down, Sagittarius is the antithesis of a homebody. And for those seeking a deep, intimate connection, a less-than-grounded Sag is someone to run from. Consider this scenario: After the Archer sucks you in with their philosophical thoughts and romantic ideals (read: romantic, in the sweeping literary sense), they’re likely to give you some of the best sex of your life… then get on their horse and gallop away without you… just as you were ready for a cuddle. Worst of all, it’s not that they don’t care – it’s just that they care for a lot of people, and moreover, they crave that next thrill. To avoid their inadvertent dark side, set the
ground rules before you start. Rarely will the Archer mislead you about their intentions. However, be warned: their intentions can – and often will – change.

Toxic matches: Taurus, Cancer and Virgo will find themselves driven crazy by Sag’s freedom loving streak and wild ways. Capricorn will drive Sag to drink… and ultimately, stray.

Capricorn
Capricorns in all shapes and forms have a general desire to keep up with the Joneses. As such, they work hard and often enjoy the trappings of success. The catch then, comes when they expect you to be yet another trophy. Capricorn will expect their partners to be a reflection of their values and in turn hold you to such a high standard that you can’t keep up. The result: you’re left feeling inadequate and unattractive, and they don’t care, because in their mind you’ve failed to meet their exacting standards. Love shouldn’t be a competition, but with a Capricorn whose self-awareness needs adjustment, it will become just that. Nobody needs a holier than thou companion, especially one who lords their power over you. To steer clear of controlling Capricorn, maintain your independence at all costs – and refuse to be reduced to an accessory.

Toxic matches: Aries and Gemini will find it hardest to make Capricorn happy – and the goat will judge their every flight of fancy or indiscretion. This makes the prospect doubly dangerous for eccentric Aquarius, who will want to drown practical Capricorn in the very water they bear.

Aquarius
When an Aquarius is in their best form, they’re innovators with huge social circles and an active – if unpredictable – lifestyle. Conversely, an Aquarius in toxic state has little regard for others (though still an active – if unpredictable – lifestyle, if you catch that drift). In other words, the Water Bearer who isn’t invested in a relationship will put little time or effort in, often disappearing for long stretches and taking umbrage with your upset in the name of their self-perceived status as eclectic geniuses. Indeed, while sometimes socially charming, an unbalanced Aquarius has an ego that knows no limits, and the mind to convince themselves this is justified. The problem is, they’re often so convincing, that you’ll believe what they spew – even as it leaves you hurt and home alone. To avoid the trap of a dark side Aquarius, read the signs as they actually are, not as your Water Bearer describes them. Translation? If they’re not with you, they’re somewhere else, probably with someone else – or in the very least, with intentions that oppose yours… that is, if you want a real partnership.

Toxic matches: Dominating Capricorn, clingy Cancer and volatile Scorpio will likely combust with an Aquarian flame. Likewise, Aquarius and Aries may struggle to find balance and wind up in a tug of war.

Pisces
When life is not favoring the sometimes co-dependent Pisces, the fish tends to wallow – and remove themselves from reality. Indeed, the imagination that serves them so well as artists and yes, psychics, often leads Pisces to disconnect from the world as it is, which can create problems for anyone looking to build a solidly grounded relationship. Add to this the little known fact that Pisces, while often shy, can be possessive, and have an unhealthy tendency to rely excessively on their partner. In fact, depressed Pisces will make you feel personally responsible for their well-being, leading ultimately to resentment on both parts… and potentially dangerous consequences. To avoid drowning in the fish’s sorrows (or becoming their self-proclaimed cause), keep an eye out for self-pity, excessive enthusiasm (alcohol), or a lack of perception of the world around them. Artists can be romantic partners, but it can also turn black… fast. On top of everything else, while proclaiming undying and unconditional love, the fish has a tendency to cheat.

Toxic matches: Libra, Leo and Gemini will most likely lead a Pisces to despondency, bringing out their worst traits and magnifying them, despite any initial attractions.

Aries
If you think Leo loves the spotlight, meet Aries – only the Ram is less of a performer and more of a prodder, quite literally ramming their thoughts, opinions, desires and plans down your throat like it or not. In fact, an ill-attuned Aries will show such little regard for their partner’s feelings (or anyone else’s for that matter) that you’ll begin to wonder if the world does, in fact, revolve around them. The Ram certainly thinks so. And if anyone disagrees, this fire sign has no problem burning that bridge – no matter how close you thought the connection was. Yes, that includes their mates. After all, ego-centric Aries can be so self-convinced that partners are interchangeable. That’s because the dialogue is always all about them. If you’re faced with an aggressive Aries, don’t let the Ram push you around. Stand your ground, voice your opinion and you may have a chance of earning their respect.

Toxic matches: Cancer, Virgo and Capricorn are ill-suited to love an Aries. Either too dependent, too exacting or too controlling for The Ram, compromise will be hard to reach. Same for Scorpio… though the chemistry may be enough to fan the flames for a little while.

Taurus
Sensual Taurus can be a smoldering lover… one for the record books. But if the bull isn’t interested – or doesn’t feel safe, you may find yourself faced with a completely different person – someone who considers you an object and simply wants to have their way with you. Or an insecure clinger who won’t let you out of their sight. If you want to avoid the pitfalls of the bull’s nastier sides, make sure to pamper and protect them and nourish their nicer side, otherwise, you’ll be in for a branding that really scars. Take note: stubborn is an understatement here. So once their underbelly is exposed, it will be difficult – nearly impossible – to return your bull to their softer, sensitive self.

Toxic pairings: Aries, Gemini, Leo, Sag can all find it tough going with Taurus. Whether it’s flights of fancy, the need for attention or a craving for adventure, Taurus’s simplistic nature will not be positively highlighted.

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