A very dear regular of mine, asked me the other day, “Why do people in relationships and dating always ask, what are you thinking?” And, it dawned on me, she was right!
It appears that a lot of the times, when someone you are involved with, asks frequently, “what are you thinking,” usually it is because they have some secret thoughts of their own. Actually, they are asking you this because they are wondering if you are doing the same thing. Regardless, there is also a fear to be the first one to put the “card” on the table, so, they would like you do to it first.
I bet if you asked yourself this honestly, you would think of many instances when dating/in relationships when this was asked to you, and vice versa. Although it is always scary to put thoughts and feelings out in the open, but yet, your date or partner is picking up on “something,” it is really important to be honest.
However, if you are not honest, it will only build a wall or, at least a bigger wall between you. There are risks we all take in relationships, but communication is key. Therefore, if your date/or partner “pegs” you and you really are thinking about them or the relationship, tell them in the most constructive way possible.
Sometimes we have to take a risk in order to get closer, and if you say, “nothing really is on my mind, I am not thinking anything,” well, you just missed a chance to create more intimacy and grow closer. It’s funny that sometimes in relationships, we don’t realize that our relationship is actually evolving during a clash of wills or discussing the truths that are hard to handle. Actually, it may take a few weeks in order to see that. But do not think the worst. Sometimes, in our darkest moments of fear, in relationships, just when we think it is over, something changes and the relationship is still continuing. Further, sometimes when feelings are discussed, it may take a little while to fully absorb what happened.
Be honest in your relationship. Do tell your partner or date what you are thinking when asked. If you don’t, there is a chance that your partner could come to the conclusion that you two are not connecting. I am sure there are many readers out there that deal with these types of situations a lot in their readings. And thank you to my dear client who brought this to my attention – for you know who are you. And I appreciate it! You are a smart cookie!
Blessings,
Miss Krystal
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i am very happy for this message that was send to me i am tough by it thanks
And that is the truth. Exactly what I needed to read. Thank you so much for your articles.
Hello, I am very grateful for your post. Very much agree with what has been said about all of this. Communication is definitely key to all relationships! Helped me to recognize when I ask the question and to see when something is on my daughter’s/friends’/partner’s minds as well. Being vulnerable and taking risks is not very easy after being hurt as early as age 2 on. As I take the risk more and more, permits me to grow leaps and bounds. Chi-Meegwetch! from Canada
like that is was good
Hello Miss Krystal!
He was weight lifting and the bar fell and hit his throat. His had surgery and they fix it but don’t know the outcome of his speaking and eating. He’s a senior and can no longer play and the good thing is he might be able to play in the NFL.
Good luck tomorrow! I’m always thinking of you now when the games are on!
Cubes
Hi Cubes,
Miss Krystal
Yes, cookies, cakes and pies, oh dear goodness, I hear ya. But it is a good reality check, thanks. No, I did not hear what at all happened to the USC player…???
I would always remain a true blue Dodger fan!
Oooh Happy Late Birthday to your Brother!
Is he the SC fan you want to take to the Oregon game?
Did you hear what happened to the SC player? It’s so sad….
Be careful with all that birthday cake! That’s how I was in August! That’s why I’m on this diet…lol!
Cubes
Hey Fran!
Yes! I’m a Dodgers fan lol! They can’t win that last game to clintch!!!! Ugh!
Hey Miss Krystal is also a Dodger fan!
That’s cool he played, I’m sure he misses it.
It got cooler!
Cubes
Hi Cubes, I don’t think I can go to the CAL game, looks like OCt. is a busy month coming up. It’s starting now, actually, but today is my brother’s birthday, we will be having birthdays in my family from now until Jan lol Dec is worse, mom and other brother right before xmas….I get hit with the family birthdays in the fall and the winter.
miss krystal
Hi Fran,
I am a Dodger Fan. Grew up in LA.
I will try to cheer on those san diego chargers since we do not have an nfl team here in LA- miss krystal
Oops….I made a mistake. Debbie Allen does not reprise her role, but plays a different character. Sorry about that…
When my son was in h.s., he played corner. He’s in college now, but doesn’t play, although he would love to. I always had so much fun going to his games.
Oh my gosh….you’re a Dodgers fan?????
Well, I guess I can overlook it. LOL!!
Love ya!
Fran
Hey Fran!
Thanks I’m counting too! Well not really sometimes I forget hehe. I hope I see him soon!
What position does your son play? My daughter is not into doing any sports but she is a college football and baseball fan, of course USC and Dodgers, lol!
Finally cooling down!!!
Oooh! South Bend sounds like fun!
You should go to the Cal game. When is it?
I’m hoping I get tickets to the SC UCLA game too. I want to go. I went last year it was at the Rose Bowl and I know how tough it was to get out. It took us an hour and a half! So bad! It’s too funny that you have not one but TWO Trojans!
OMG! too funny we all had some kind of burger yesterday and right before our weigh in too.
Guess that why I didn’t do too well…boo hoo!
Big Macs are sooooo good! LOL!
I am with you. Gotta have the burger once in a while…The Bonus jack is back at J N the box! I am waiting for my vegan friend to catch me again on here talking about burgers and chicken lol
Hi Fran,
Thanks. Sounds good.
Well, the butter was not my fault- the person who went to get it while I was watching the seats is the one! We ate the entire thing, a large between the two of us. Gosh the popcorn was amazing! I want more!
miss krystal
Hi Abigail,
I agree, listening is an art. It also calms the other person down.
Totally true!
Bravo,
Miss Krystal
Hi Miss Krystal,
I enjoyed the movie “Fame” yesterday. My girls liked it too. Yes, it’s set at the same H.S. for the Performing Arts in NYC, and I love that Debbie Allen reprises her role, although now she’s principal.
The filming was different. And my daughters would have liked it a little more if there had been more interaction between ALL of the students, together. But all in all, it was enjoyable.
I loved the old one, too. And I enjoyed the show as well. This one is more modern and a little edgy. I think you’d like it.
(Had popcorn, too, but without the butter…but I ate 2/3 of the bag myself!)
Hugs to you,
Fran
It is truly my pleasure to know that I can bring a laugh or two your way.
It’s so much better than crying!!!!
Oh, and about that Big Mac…..don’t worry. At least you got it out of your system (you did, didn’t you???). I had JinB last night…this HUGE burger. OMG! What is my problem?! Eating is one of my greater pleasures in life. Why couldn’t I love jogging instead?
((Fran))
Miss Krystal,
Listening is a skill.You’ll be amazed at what you may hear….what is the sound of one hand clapping LOL
Many Blessings
~*Abigail*~
ST,
I have done some of the same things with food and guests in a hurry lol
Hi Fran,
Please let me know what you thought of the Film, “Fame.” Do you think I would like it? I loved the old one. Does this one take place in NY, also?
Thanks,
Miss Krystal
I met some girls over the weekend who are all going up to South Bend for the game…That sounds like so much fun.
I am contemplating Cal tickets for the bruins. I am not parking in the Rose Bowl Parking lot anymore, I am parking at someone’s house that charges to use their facility. That parking lot takes too long to get out of! We also have to get SC VS BRUINS tickets….I will be going with two Trojans lol hehe
I had the big mac attack
I gave in…I felt it was the better choice vs the JNbox tacos lol
what is this? I was doing so good/no chicken tonight lol
HI ST,
no lol just did a big mac for lunch(no fries) and, earlier this weekend, popcorn at the movies/with butter. at least I skipped the pepsi lol
I took the center bread of the big mac out lol if that even matters at this point. I love cookie batter! I did see a wonderful movie, “Inglorious B.” not sure if that second word is permissible in here/but it is Brad Pitt’s film out right now. Excellent! Next, I want to see that movie, “I am fine all by myself.”
blessings and hugs,
Miss Krystal
Fran you have been making me laugh at least one a week! thanks for the laughs
VICTORY! Yes! I am sure you feel better!
You’ve got some POWER, girl!!! How about that….gay Buddha falling for you! I love it. Too bad he couldn’t remain your friend….
The halibut was divine! They have two halibut dishes….one comes with shrimp, and that’s the one I ordered. I asked them to prepare the shrimp without the garlic/butter sauce, and they did. Yummy. They serve it with sauteed veggies. But now I have to get through TODAY!
Hope you enjoy your dinner tonight. Wonder what’s on the menu?
Well, I’d better straighten up a little before I take the girls to a movie. I promised to take them to see Fame. I used to love that show when I was younger. I hope they like it.
Talk to you tomorrow!
Hugs,
Fran
I’m counting the days ’til October for you! I’m going to miss part of the Chargers game today because I promised my girls I’d take them to the movies. We’re going to see Fame at noon. I’m looking forward to spending the time with them, just the three of us. But then it’s back to football when I get home!! I never really enjoyed it too much growing up, I guess because my father wasn’t into it….only baseball. But once my son went to high school and started playing, I was hooked.
I sure hope Pokey calls soon. I also hope things start moving forward for the two of you.
I’m so glad that the heat wave is finally starting to end. Next week should be in the 80′s. So much better than the 100′s we’ve been having.
Enjoy all the games today! “See” you tomorrow when we weigh in (yikes!).
Hugs,
Fran
Hey Miss Krystal!
Yey!! Up 20 0 half time sooooo much better! I need a stress free game! LOL!
Hi Fran!
It’s too hot!!!! I’m just trying to keep cool, but that’s hard since I don’t have AC. I’m staying in tonight to watch the Football game.
Well Pokey…I talked to him very briefly this afternoon, but then we talked againg about an hour ago. We caught up with everything but no future of seeing each other. I’m patiently waiting to see him again. I’ve been told Oct that’s only in a few days…
How’s your weekend??
Hugs
Cubes
Hi Cubes!
How frustrating for oyu for Pley’s phone to die…I hope that he called you back!
And, yes, Nudee is a good distraction and so nice to tlak to. One of the nicest men I’ve met to date…or so I think!
I love his voice, he speaks slowly and clearly and has a very soothing voice…easy for me to sleep after I talk to him…
Hope you have good news for us about Pokey calling back…
Love and hugs,
ST
Hey Fran!
Well, Margarita’s re a wekness for me…especially when they make them with orange juice…mmm….
I think exercise helps qwuite a lot. For me it does anyway as it makes me mroe aware of my body…and I see results so much sooner..and then once I start to see a change then it kind of fuel’s me to keep going…
And, yes, Nudee is a lot of fun to talk to…I’m enjoying getting to know him…
How was the halibut?
TOmorrow I’m going to a clients house to list her home and have dinner..sooo…I hope I don’t over indulge…
I really have not had many men friends over the years…thought I did…he was a gay man that looked like Buddha…but then, believe it or not…not sure how it coul dhave happened..HE-the gay Buddha-fell in love with me…
Very sad as I loved him a lot…and we had been friends for years…
BUT, not in that way…and in the end…he got kind of mean…
Talk to you tomorrow!
Nite.
Hugs,
ST
Hi Miss Kystal!
Today’s the day after you know what! Hope they come back with confidence!
Cubes
Hi ST,
I’m happy to hear that Nudee called. Well, at least having some new to talk to is good to have. Plus it’s always better to start as friends. And if anything having a friend from another state is a great excuse for a mini vacation, hehe. Sounds like you’re better today. That’s good!
Well as far as Pokey we did talk very briefly earlier as his phone died. He hasn’t called me back yet I’m hoping he will as we really didn’t catch up well. I don’t have anything planned tonight. I’m just planning on staying in to watch the football game as you know that’s what I do giving Miss Krystal updates on the Blog. Lol!
I do wish to see Pokey soon. I was hoping tonight would have been perfect! Oh well!
Hope you have a great weekend! Talk to you for Mondays “check in”.
Cubes
Hey Cubes!!
What’s goin’ on? Are you enjoying the weekend? Anything up with Pokey? Maybe he needs a good poke!
Sending hugs,
Fran
Hi ST!
I’m glad that you and Nudee are still communicating, and that a friendship is blossoming. Even if you guys only remain friends, that can still be fun. I have two male friends that I keep in touch with on a regular basis. One I’ve known since we were both 11, and we call each other at least once or twice a week, and the other I’ve known since the 4th grade, and we email each other all the time. They both live on the East Coast, but it’s so nice to still have them as friends.
I’m going to dig out my Windsor Pilates DVD and start using it again. Do you really think it will help? I’m supposed to go out to dinner with friends tonight. Mexican. But this place serves the BEST halibut I’ve ever had, so that’s what I’m going to order with a side salad. No rice and no beans! But boy, I sure would love a margarita!!! I guess I’ll stick to the lemon water, which I love.
Hope your weekend is turning out to be nice.
Later, girlfriend!
Hugs to you,
Fran
Hi,
Somehow I got myself into a situation where I’m supposed to be baking the contractors working on my neighbors house chocolate chip cookies tomorrow for Monday…(I had a leak when I was out and they took care of it for me) was so nice of them…
BUT, if I bake I’ll eat half the batter…and am trying to lose what I gained…and still need to lose more…
SO, I might just go out Monday and “buy” some cookies…my homemade, of course are better…but they have never had them so won’t know that…and they will most likely enjoy the ones I purchase as well.
Guess I’m trying to justify not baking them as I know I would cave in…
Is your will power still holding out..?
Have a good weekend!
ST
Hi Cubers,
“Nudee” called last night…we really have the best conversations..not sure if there will be more than a really nice friendship due to the distance.
Am also not sure if there is any chemsitry…
Think there could be…
So, maybe, but it is fun to have someone to talk to and that appears to have some degree of interest…
Anything from “Pokey”? LOVE the names we’ve got for our “men”…Fran is grat at “naming them”!LOL! LOL!
I took the boys for a walk and am now trin to get some energy to do my pilates…
Talk to you soon.
A big hug!
ST
Miss Krystal,
Jusr re-read your article…it really is full of “good stuff”!
Thanks for sharing and for challenging us…
HUGS,
ST
Hello!
Thanks! I’ll be watching! I wish you luck too!
cubes,
it is always a pleasure to be there for you. good luck with WSU
Hi Cubes,
Yes..everytime I think I’ve moved on then I’m reminded that I really haven’t.
Someone mentioned to me that they say “oldee” riding his bike and somehow had a “freinds dog” with a pink collar on with him…
He said it was “his friends”..obviously a woman.
The other person said, oh it must be serious if you’re watching her dog…and his response was “NO”…you know me…like he never gets serious.
BUT, I can’t imagine him watching anyones dog..so he must care about her…
And, so I am sad…and feel silly for sitting here hoping and wishing…
I did have a nice email conversation with “Nudee” today…
Sorry about the highway guy..BUT your attitude is great!
HUGS,
ST
Hi Miss Krystal!
Yes it was an a big eye opening! I’m sure they will come out stronger and it let our QB become 100 percent for this week!
Thanks for today you really do make me look forward to the future! Haha! So it looks like starting next month things will start falling slowly in to place. Thanks again!
Hugs
Cubes
Hi ST!
but that’s ok I’m sure that I’ll hear from him soon. I like the Pokey for short too like Fran suggested. Haha she’s too funny!
No nothing from Slow Poke,
I’m so happy for you to hear that Nudee is making contact and you’re enjoying every moment. Good for you! I bet it’s great to have something new and exciting while still waiting without waiting if you know what I mean. I think it will be exciting to go to see him if there’s a chance.
Well the freeway guy didn’t make an effort to follow up this past Friday so I guess I’m getting the real him without even getting to know if more. Good thing I didn’t get into him at first sight! Haha!
Well moving on!!!!!!! Next!
Cubes
Hi ST-
I did enjoy my chocolate chips lol
thanks.
Yes, smells are important, I agree. I feel that has a lot to do with “chemistry”-what is ick to one could be heavenly to another…
Hugs,
Miss Krystal
It was an eye opening thing for the team, don’t worry. Besides, wonder boy was out….Keep that in mind…
I am pleasantly surprised about the teddy bears…Hope it lasts lol
Even with QB out for longer, still there is hope…And they are young, so I am feeling better.
Road games are always hard.
Hugs,
Miss Krystal
Hi Cubes,
Well, he really is a “Slow Poke”!! LOL! Wonder if Fran has heard from “Warty”…and what is the other name fro Brown Eyes “missing” guy!??
I haven’t heard form “oldee” either..but “Nudee’ emailed me this morning…
The emails are brief..but nice to know he is at least thinking of me and interested in getting to know more…
Hope you are well.
HUGS,
ST
HI Miss Krystal,
What you say makes a lot of sense to me…I seem to be kind of sensitive to the senses…the sound of a voice, the “scent” of a person, etc.
When I was first single I went out with a gorgeous guy…very nice, successful, etc…BUT, I didn’t like “the way he smelled” so I never went out with him again…I mean he was clean and all…just didn’t “smell right” to me…
I’m doing good about staying away from sweets…tomorrow will mark one week.
Am having trouble accessing this blog lately, so I hope you get this…
And, you’re right about another thing…the attention “Nudee” is paying to me has been good for my self esteem…”Oldee” wasn’t exactly makign me feel like I was “wanted” or “desirable”…
Hope you enjoyed your chocolate chip cookies!
Happy Day!
Hug,
ST