Can Sexless Marriages Work?

October 21, 2009 at 5:00 pm

Has the sex gone out of your marriage? If the answer is yes, you’re not alone according to our top California Psychics.

Everyday, our psychics speak with callers who share their personal sadness over marriages that have never been consummated, couples that lose their drive after having children and issues of sexual intimacy and compatibility.

Oftentimes when sex has become the elephant in the room, individuals begin to look outside of their marriage for fulfillment. In these situations, our psychics say, the person may not even believe that they are cheating – they have to get their needs met after all.
If sexual needs are mismatched, an astrologer can see it immediately in a couple’s chart. But there are times when both spouses are on the same page and are in agreement that sex is not all that important.

Tell us what you think. If everything else about a relationship is great, can sexless marriages work? How important really is sex to a relationship? If needs are mismatched, is it ever ok to venture outside the marriage?

Read the next part in our sexless marriage series.

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268 Responses to “Can Sexless Marriages Work?”

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  1. writergirl0527 August 22, 2010 at 8:17 am

    As someone who finally ended a fifteen year sexless, loveless marriage to an emotionally abusive man, I can say sex and intimacy are crucial to a marriage. Couples disagree and go through stress in even healthy relationships. Physical connection is the glue which feeds into emotions and vice versa. When one partner uses withholding sex as control, that is abusive. My ex never was comfortable with any kind of intimacy. In short time, because of his behavior towards me, I was no longer interested in him. Whatever threads we were hanging by were cut. If there are physical problems, perhaps you can cuddle or kiss or do whatever you can. One partner should not be deprived what are needs


  2. brideget May 16, 2010 at 11:49 am

    my boyfriend has sugar diabetis, and bi-polar! the seizure medication and diabetis keeps him from getting an erection. the bi-polar cause him him to emotionally abuse and say ugly things to me everyday. he calls his ex and tells her there has been no intimacy for the past three years because he really just doesn’t want to be bothered. he’s never been intimate with her either. we talk a lot.


  3. Ron & Amy April 2, 2010 at 9:30 pm

    My wife and I have been married for 40 years and about 25 of those years have been sexless. At first wife was really upset about not having sex, and I had decided sex was boring, had no meaning and the thrill wasn’t there any longer and I didn’t want sex from her or anyone else. Since that time I hadn’t seen my wife naked and both of us are clothed in something all the time (except the shower). We don’t even use the same shower. I don’t know if the sexless thing is good or bad. Once my wife got past the urges everything was ok.


  4. Ben March 23, 2010 at 11:15 am

    My wife and I haven’t had sex in 30 years and they have been the best 30 years of our lives. Sex
    is not necessary to enjoy your spouse. Just so happy about that, no arguements and no pregnacy.
    Just can’t imagine having rug rats (kids)


  5. Amy March 12, 2010 at 1:33 pm

    Yes its possible to live in a sexless mariage.
    Let me start out by saying we have been married 43 years, and they haven’t been great in the sex department.Everything else is fine.
    On our wedding night we didn’t have sex, I was scared, and when we went on our honey moon I was sick the first few days. Husband was frustrated, but after I got better we had sex some time later I can’t recall. Probably a month or two went by mabe more any sex. I found sex to be frightning. My husband kinda just left me alone, and tryed to covince me sex was ok. Well he was the main bread winner and he worked as hard as he could to help us save money for a house. We had sex occasionaly and we managed to have two kids. We didn’t want them brought up in an apartment, We bought our first house, we worked hard the years went by and the kids were out of college and the sex disappeared.
    By that time husband had high blood pressure, mild depression, ulcers,colestrol issues and I think he was worn out.
    I of course badgered him about the sex, all of a sudden I wanted more, he couldn’t step up to the plate with all the meds he was taking.
    He finially said he had no desire for any sex with me or anyone else . He found it boring, unrewarding not thrilling or exciting.
    I ended up a contol type person, everything has to be on my time. I complained about no sex, and I have to know everything, where hes going and with who. He finally just doesn’t go anywhere. He hasn’t any friends. So for the last 30 years completely sexless,and the first 13 some sex. We equally screwed up our sex lives. But aside from sex we managed pretty well, no arguements and happy.


  6. Susi March 10, 2010 at 2:24 pm

    Hi I have a Husband how likes his Computer better than his wife is well. And yes is never him bud all down to me.says he stopt do I belive him? No


  7. chinenye December 11, 2009 at 2:31 am

    sex is great in a marriage. maybe during courtship couples can practice abstenance. but once they are married. they really need sex to grow there relationship cos sex is like a bond between a husband and wife. once the desire for each other dies, u will have not but the children to rely on. for me, i think sex is important in marriage,.God himself made it so.


  8. L December 6, 2009 at 3:43 am

    I have been married for 17 years and haven’t had sex with my husband since Christmas Day 2001. he has a history of choosing Internet porn instead of being intimate with me– to the point where he has ED. He went to the doctor about 6 years ago for it, and then about 2 years ago. Nothing since. He alledgedly has an appointment next month. I’m at the point where I don’t want to be intimate with him anymore, and when I mention that, he flies off the handle. Just how much am I supposed to take? I have strayed from our relationship a couple of times, which I believe anyone would do given the circumstances. If the situation was reversed, I know he would have left or kicked me out– the reason I know this is because he’s told me straight out. He’s had opportunites to fix his problems and God knows I’ve tried to help. I’ve banned him from his computer, gotten rid of the Internet, and even carried the computer’s power cord around with me so that he had no access. I’ve found files and footprints on his computer as recently as a few months ago. Has he stopped? I don’t believe so. I think he’s just gotten better at covering his tracks.
    We have two children- a teenage daughter and a 12 year old son who has a high-functioning case of Autism referred to as PDD-NOS and he needs stability even more than my teenage daughter. I’m staying in this relationship for the kids and for financial reasons- it’s much cheaper for us to live in the same house- and if we sold the house now, we’d be in debt forever. When he mentions what we’ll do (meaning him and me) after the kids are in college, I cringe and feel like vomiting. I’ve told him this and that I am out of here when the kids go to college, and he gets upset and flies off the handle.
    A few years back, I told him that I wanted a divorce. He immediately told our son, “mommy is leaving us- she doesn’t want to be with us anymore!” My son’s face and reaction was so heartbreaking that I decided then and there that I was going to stay and deal with the situation. It’s amazing to me how selfish my husband is.
    I just wanted to share my story. it’s been a long 8 years, filled with near-nervous breakdowns, anti-depressants, and soul-searching. Not to mention a visit by the FBI all because my husband chooses to fulfill his sexual desires online instead of with me.


  9. cher November 17, 2009 at 5:42 am

    Lack of intimacy HAS made me sick. I have been without it for 10 years and I feel like I am dying inside. I have nowhere to escape. I’m stuck in a dead marriage. Wish I could run and hide.


  10. cher November 17, 2009 at 5:38 am

    I am also in a marriage of 17 yers. Our sex stopped 10 years ago. What really bothers me is that we have absolutely NO intimacy. I miss being held and feeling beautiful. My husband has a ED problem and will not sek help. I need sex ansd am not getting it. Should I stray or will that just make me feel worse?


  11. ramzi November 7, 2009 at 4:40 am

    hi dear
    i think and shuor he have problim in work or money


  12. briskilal November 6, 2009 at 10:21 pm

    Yes, The said above the point is gud. If u found real love dosent matter to give imp for sex. That all comes include watever wish together


  13. Baby K November 6, 2009 at 10:38 am

    I have to correct you son, first off it’s not about giving no blowjob in the morning, that may work for you and some others, but you men need to think about our needs as a woman, trust me if you give yourself to that woman and show her that you love and appreciate her, you will get more than just a blow job in the morning as u call it, but I will call it Just being Loved…


  14. subham November 6, 2009 at 2:35 pm

    me & my loved ones is seperated from 1year long, we hav a sweet child. from before our marriage we were a superb tuning.& we spend a romantic 2 yraes.& now during dis time we hav no connection,
    but we fill the reparcation..now,i fill sex is allways necessary in congugal life ,but now in dis position feelinghs make us more sencitive.we know we cant attach again,but our feelinghs make us more romantic than before.


  15. Stacy November 6, 2009 at 5:35 am

    My man of 10 years acts as though he has no interest in sex. He comes up with every excuse in the book not to have sex. I am still an attractive woman, but he says sex isn’t that important to him. Me on the other hand, I like sex because it makes me feel as close to him as possible. With out it I feel like we are drifting apart. And I’ve tried the bunt thing with him. He’s not into it.


  16. chicgirl November 6, 2009 at 4:26 am

    I feel that my partner is looking elsewhere. He will leave in the morning and visit a relative who also has a female relative of her spouse living with her. I know for a fact that he speaks to this person on the phone because he has called her in front of me at the relatives house. He has made the remark to her with the word relationship in it not friendship.
    I know this person as I have been at the house with my partner and I watch him and her very closely. In fact, if she has a question for us she will phone and ask for him first she will never ask for me unless he is not at home.
    I accused him of spending time with her last year and he did not condone it or deny it so that kind of tells me that something must be going on.


  17. meeriam November 6, 2009 at 2:03 am

    i was married to a britisher stephen woodall(England) who came to india mumbai married me in one day after meeting me on shaadi.com and we got registered marriage. he took me to germany where he was working but started ignoring me when we reached there , he said he was not interested in sex , dont know what happened , he would have sex only once or twice a month then completely stopped then started arguing and nagging so i would not bring up the topic , he was 49 at that time 2007 nov. and i was 43,dotn know why he changed. i waited for the right man but got a man who was not interested. why did he marry me then. may be he wanted a house in india when he retires. thats what i collected from him when he spoke to me sometimes. or he wouldnt speak at all.now i am back in mumbai , he left me here and gone back and not keeping in touch.meeriam


  18. Kelli November 6, 2009 at 12:21 am

    AMEN!!! truly


  19. Maria November 2, 2009 at 8:43 am

    I am in a marriage where there is practically no sex. We had great sex while we were dating and those times are kept close to my heart in my memories. After marriage, my husband was diagnosed with diabetes. The meds basically disabled him in that area. I was diagnosed with hypertension, and those meds basically disabled me. We love each other dearly and in rare moments can have a bit of sex. It does not bother either of us because everything else is wonderful. My husband is 10 years younger than me, but has no desire to seek out another woman because his “equipment” does not work AND he loves me. Yes, a sexless marriage can work in these circumstances. We are the living proof.


  20. richard November 1, 2009 at 8:03 pm

    sex for a man is 90% of the marage. for a woman its 10%. Im a guy so I know the man thing. Why7 dont you surprise him with sex. Like first thing in the morning start with a b___ job while he is sleeping and progress to what ever you can think of. After work — Take you kid to your mom. Give him grate dinner and sex. Before long he will be comminng home quick and rushing to see you try it for 2 weeks. A man thinks love is sex. A woman likes to waist time first. Sorry for being blunt. I hope it helps you.


  21. foochie November 1, 2009 at 6:37 am

    I disagree with you. intimacy may be a basic human need for some. However if we don’t have it we get sick, “YOU SAY”. NOT TRUE.
    I don’t need it and I am not only healthy
    but I am a SURVIVOR!


  22. amber October 30, 2009 at 6:02 pm

    such a variety of answers,all true,i can only speak from my own exsperience- after meeting and falling in love with a soul mate- meaning we had connected on so many levels sexually as psychic exsperience sometimes-that when he decided to become addicted to porn and alchohol – i tried to hang in there- i mean isnt that what your supposed to do? but the the loss of our connection devastated me he seemed to forget the moments of vibrating after making love and the profound healing this provided- i could not make him remember and wasted three years of my life waiting for that connection- theres nothing we can do -free will and all that-its tough but you have to let go even if it takes forever-we all need to be held and not held back forever by our partners weaknesses-intimacy is a basic human need if we dont have it we get sick and start to slowly die find it if you can- with yourself at first if need be


  23. Raima October 30, 2009 at 4:44 am

    can someone answer me why he is doing this to me?why,,sudden anger,,bitting ,,never anything that we use to do,,love,,we have been together for the last 11 yrs ,,i never saw him ike this before,,we have a 4 yr old son,,i love my husband too much and saying himm all the time why rn’t u put some effort to revive our love ,,why ur taking this towards end?ca someone tell me why he is doing this?i don know,,but i love him so much i cant explain,,,,i m dying for his love,,i m dying,,how to get him back,,pls help me.what happend to him God,,tell me/


  24. Heidi Kentwood October 27, 2009 at 11:48 am

    Thanks for enlightening me, everyone. I am sorry I displayed such insensitivity. But hearing everyone’s stories made me see there’s more than meets the eye on this topic. Has anyone since gotten a psychic reading about it? What advice did you get?


  25. NIKIC October 26, 2009 at 6:25 pm

    I was in a marriage where we did everything together, never fought, and were very family oriented. However, there was no intimacy whatsoever! By the way, I am the female that was in this marriage. I say that because so many people assume it is a man’s issue to need sex in their lives. Well, so do many women! Sex in a marriage is a form of communication. If there is a breakdown in the bedroom, then trust me, there is a breakdown in other areas too. I thought I could hold out until my kids turned 18 and went to college. However, I finally realized that I am way too young to live like this! My belief is that, you should have it all! I had a perfect marriage w/my 1st husband until he became sick. We spent every free moment together, enjoyed just being in each others presence, and had the most incredible sex life. If you are missing any of these things, then my suggestion is to get out now! Don’t know about you, but all I am aware of is one life that I get. I plan on making the best of that life and part of that is to have a marriage with sex (intimacy). Don’t fool yourself either by thinking that your spouse is not getting satisfied somewhere else or at least looking for it. I can honestly say I did not cheat, I just left!


  26. Ladybug October 26, 2009 at 5:26 am

    Hello Abigail, I cannot thank you enough for your insight and encouragement and taking the time to reply to me. I have struggled to love myself the way I was meant to be loved and some days are better than others. I pray that some day soon there will be a gift for me.(Hopefully someone who will be worthy of both my heart and my bed)!!
    Blessings to you too x


  27. Ladybug October 26, 2009 at 5:15 am

    I’m not sure whether you read my previous link replying to ‘need it’, but both myself and my husband were committed Christians prior to our marriage, during and (me, waveringly) after our separation.I continue to be devoted to God and I trust him with everything that is good for me. There are some people on this site who do not know God like you do and it would be a shame to make them miss his grace by making sweeping comments about their morality in a way that causes them to despise him further. Talk from the heart not the pulpit – you can reach people easier from that distance…the ultimate love affair is an exclusive one with him who created us – share that element of your faith – not fear or condemnation. Perfect love drives out fear and that is what our God is all about. If I was that woman who was ‘caught in adultery’, would you be so eager to cast the first stone?


  28. all about it ! October 26, 2009 at 1:37 am

    I love your mature reply to this article. Your relationship is rare, but beautiful ! You are FRIENDS with your husband, and I believe that being friends is the true foundation to a good marriage. Sex is only a physical sharing, where friendship is spiritual ! You are what soulmates are about! We will all grow older and sex may not be a possibility for us in the future. I would not leave my husband because he went blind, or developed an illness that made the act of sex impossible. I guess it depends on the foundation you wish to build on. It is refreshing to know that there are healthy minded people still in this world! I wish you both Love and Light,, and many many years to be,, together!


  29. sweetforever57 October 25, 2009 at 9:33 am

    I HAVE BEEN MARRIED FOR 6 YRS AND TOGETHER 18 YRS. I HAVE GONE THRU THE CHANGE IN LIFE EARLY AND THE LAST 4 YRS I HAVE LOST ALL DESIRE. I’VE BEEN TO COUNCELING, HAVE TRIED SEX WITH HIM AGAIN, JUST TO NOT WANT IT EVER AGAIN. I CAN MASTERBATE JUST FINE, BUT WHY DID I LOSE MY DESIRE? IT USED TO BE GREAT SEX, BUT NOW I FEEL BAD FOR HIM, BECUZ I HAVE NO DESIRE. ALOT OF DAMAGE HAS BEEN DONE TO OUR MARRIAGE AND I RESENTED HIM FOR BEING ON THE ROAD 2-3 WKS AT A TIME AND ME RAISING 3 TEENAGE BOYS (NOW MEN)..AND NOW HE IS HOME 24-7 WITH ME AND KIDS GONE…HOW DO YOU EVER GET IT BACK OR DO YOU?


  30. k October 25, 2009 at 4:20 am

    i cant quiet relate on this subject caue i’m only 24 and my partner and i dont have sex as much either., you can be mentally and emotionally atrracted and have things in common but also it has nothing to do with be physically connected. and this i know can not get me by with my relationship…cause i dont have that connectioin with him..how sad we had grown after our son came..only caue i’m not feeling it for him but for another guy..is that wrong? yes this is..because i should be faithful and glad he loves me enough to still understand that i just dont want to be intimate with him..and yet i’m being foolish and going my own diection with a man twice my age…and feeling it with him more than my partner of years and us being freinds for many years since we were children…man sexless marriage and relationships are hard to make work for you and your partner.


  31. G October 24, 2009 at 10:01 pm

    I Sex certainly isn’t everything but it sure is important in any marriage. Usually, when couples loose their sex drive is because there are other underlying issues.


  32. Akashicc October 24, 2009 at 6:11 pm

    LOL, Lady qura. My second post (the one you commented on) was in reply to another person, where she had commented that a male psychic suggested that she perhaps go elsewhere to get her needs met. I was commenting that it might not be a bad idea. I must say,though, it’s nice to have you in my corner. In my own situation, I engage in introspection about my own feelings of demoralization and discuss a plan to become remoralized (I use ‘moral’ in the way we would use boosting the ‘moral’ for the team, not the shaming restricting version of morals). I may not have communicated it clearly enough, but I was suggesting that having her needs met outside the relationship could be a possible avenue through which to become remoralized. The act alone wouldn’t cut it, but a part of her may become reawakened, which would support her in being more loving with herself and relieve some doubts about her own worth. I also hold the position that not having sex has nothing to do with sex (at least not the gonadal kind). I do believe that it’s a drive that represents numerous aspects of who we are,the aspects of ourselves that we’re trying to get in touch with or that simply become more enhanced in a loving exchange. I totally agree that good counsel would be of use for the picture man, but that’s a road to nowhere with him and an inefficient way to spend my time. When I do seek guidance, I look for ideas and strategies to maintain my own self-worth regardless of his behavior. He actually loves to sleep with me, but he is impotent and appears to have closed the door on including me in his sexuality. The whole thing is complex and frustrating, but I intend to emerge from my situation as stronger, wiser, and less cynical person, anyway.


  33. felicia October 24, 2009 at 5:03 pm

    I totally disagree…a marriage is sharing a life together that includes making love, where do you go for that?

  34. Gina Rose ext.9500
    Gina Rose ext.9500 October 24, 2009 at 4:41 pm

    Hi samhud,
    I’m sorry for your pain….
    My Guides will give you a very clear answer !!!! I have 43 years experience reading…and have done many gay relationship readings, besides readings on straight relationships.
    Blessed Be )O(….Gina Rose ext.9500


  35. crittercorral1 October 24, 2009 at 4:32 pm

    hey barb how old are you and how long have you been married? Your about the only one here that has a comment i can agree on!


  36. lady qura October 24, 2009 at 3:01 pm

    Liya, good things must be there!
    if love is there, money is there, health is there sex is there luck…..and..is there..then …we could be lucky!
    we are talking here it seems…one or a few things are not there!
    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
    listen,
    two people must meet first..to see whether they are attracted to each other as a man/woman or ..anyway!
    then, they should look into the degrees, like a car ingine from starting to driving. sometimes nosex comes from the first step…you see a woman/man, you don’t like ..no you hate having sex with em.
    then you go a few step further…
    a lot of woman just love their husband not because of sex..because of their well mannar. If the acceptence and love are there, usually people look into books/psychologist, and most into their experience to see what else makes them more satisfied within their little family frame. like you see movies at home and wants to have popcorn! it’s getting funny here! then what you do..either you have it at home, make it, or buy it from stores..or just forget about pop corn and watch the movie! i don’t know? may be you shut down Video player or TV, because you don’t have pop corn to eat! isn’t it crazy?
    okay it doesn’t mean all people accept nonsex mates! NO, i am telling you if you find a love somewhere, sex is just popcorn! Love is very hard to find, if you love someone just appreciate it!


  37. Lady Qura October 24, 2009 at 2:42 pm

    that is good to love someone! it is good, but not perfect!
    having an undestanding friend and lover even without sex if you don’t want to have a child of him and yourself, is almost perfect! i believe in reality and truth. you want to miss something to have a greater thing in your life! this greater thing is very important and must be taken good care of.
    by the way, what is meaning of the sex?
    there are degrees in sex actions..from kissing..with all feelings..to more and the end..what step can be missing? or is missing? we don’t know total? just you know and your husband..then the result is within just your feeling whether it makes you satisfied or not! How can I know to give you an advice?
    in genral, if you are in love and have certain degrees of sex..try to add to the degrees, if you wish there are tools and bars! to me all is funny!
    go aand get n your life honey and left me get on my life too!


  38. Lady Qura October 24, 2009 at 2:27 pm

    you know what lady?
    never say never, go find a young guy who sleeps with you, get rid of that nonsex husband and kill him after 34 year of marriage! you are what you are! i don’t think you deserve your husband’s love, even his sex if he could!


  39. lady qura October 24, 2009 at 2:17 pm

    yes! it is damnly true!
    ” no relationship is guaranteed to last forever and people do change and..grow a part? (grow a part? this don’t know! However the main sentense is damnly correct!)
    are you sure just the sex of the new guy has attracted you so much??? Think well!


  40. lady qura October 24, 2009 at 2:06 pm

    he likes pictures, not sleeping with you..hummm! He is psychologically abnormal! nothing wrong with you! natural men when see beautiful women in the street sleep warmer witheir wife at night! (it’s too bad, but it is what it is!). This guy must g to see a psychologist instead of you asking a psychic.


  41. lady qura October 24, 2009 at 1:52 pm

    sex is an excuse for lack of love in marriage to get divorce!


  42. samhud October 24, 2009 at 1:00 pm

    I am a 27 yr old gay male in a 5 year relationship with a 60 yr old man. it has largely been a sexless marraige with him cheating on me within 2 or 3 months and after 2 or 3year i realized he was an alcoholic.
    i am so confused about it. I wish the Universe would show me what to do. I once tired asking a psychic here but i never got a clear answer. I feel like i live in hell sometimes.


  43. Sam October 24, 2009 at 12:51 pm

    i think u should go out and seek love u deserve it. u should not hold back becasue of a liar.
    I think out society in genearal penalizes women for seeking out sex and intimacy but you should be careful and the universe will bring the right person into your life when u are ready for it.


  44. mamacat400 October 24, 2009 at 11:49 am

    I have a real crummy marriage, I have hot had sex with my husband since 1992. He is a disgusting person who passes notes to everyone woman who has ever entered our house or everywhere we went and still go. I am told over and over and over your husband gave me this note to call him, meet him, my son’s friends, mothers all told me he hit on them when they came for their kids or called here and he answered the phone. I actually hate him, but do not know how to be on my own I am 65 now and he makes me sick, he also is a compulsive liar and I can’t stand that either.


  45. doinit October 24, 2009 at 12:38 am

    I am in love with a man who is in a sexless, intimacy free marriage. During our first yr together,he told her he wanted a divorce. She sent her kids crying to him to give her another chance. Out of guilt, and after a talk with his lawyer who told him he could not afford to divorce her now, he stayed. He has also stayed with me for 3 yrs now. Basically, he is afraid of losing half of all he has worked for his whole life to a 10 yr marriage, and also, afraid of losing her half of the family, as he raised her children from young. The only thing they seem to have in common is making money, and the grown children who now have grandchildren. Now, he really has no reason to divorce her. On the surface,they have their picture perfect lives, with huge homes, expensive cars, all that money can buy. While infact, they sleep in seperate rooms at opposite ends of a huge house for over 6 years, and have sex very rarely- usually if she wants something material from him she’ll surprize him unexpectedly.
    That’s where I take up the slack. We spend most of the week together in one of their 2nd homes, have incredible sex, like neither one of us has ever experienced elsewhere, we laugh constantly, love unconditionally, take long intimate walks, and I am his escape from this heartbreaking reality of a sexless marriage.
    So, for those of you out there kidding yourselves, thinking that sex is not important in a marriage, it may not be important for you, but believe me, the unwanted partner is going to get satisfied somewhere. People cannot live without touch, compassion and intimacy for long.
    Sex is very important to me,as well as intimacy. If I were married to this man, I would make love every day happily, and he would not feel the need to find love or sex outside of his marriage. This affair is a first and last for me. I personally am a strong believer in monogamy, I just never met a man capable of it that wasn’t already married! I would never put myself in this situation again, and am not sure how long I can endure being the hidden link.
    If it is for health reasons, that is a different issue altogether. If I had a previously loving and sexually intimate marriage, and health issues then make physical sex impossible, hugging and kissing and touching still are, and I would stand by my mate no matter what.
    The other thing people kid themselves into believing -that sleeping in seperate bedrooms is good for a marriage! Everyone I know that is doing that, one or the other or both are having affairs! One of my aquaintences literally sneaks guys into her bedroom after her husband goes to sleep in his at the other end of the house! Life is too short to live miserably and in a lie. If it doesn’t make you happy, why do it? If your answer is for the kids, you are lieing to yourselves. Kids are not stupid at any age. They don’t need that kind of example of what marriage is. They need to know what real love and happiness are.


  46. Ivan October 23, 2009 at 9:36 pm

    I have been married to my wife for 20yrs ,I dont think she likes sex.She is caught up in her co workers problems,and the drama at the school,she is always to tired when she comes home.It is wearing thin with me.what should i do?


  47. stace October 23, 2009 at 9:15 pm

    I feel your pain. I am 57 married for 35 years and it’s just not there anylonger due to his selfishness and lack of taking care of my heart when i was raising 4 children while he sat in front of the t.v. sex on demand is what i called it. I to would get a divorce but it would hurt too many people and since i am not selfish i stay and suffer.


  48. ivan vandewerker October 23, 2009 at 9:11 pm

    Me and wife have been married for 20yrs , she is not interested in having sex, she is caught up in her co workers problems,and the drama at the school,and kids problems.


  49. blunn October 23, 2009 at 7:36 pm

    Ive been living in a sexless marriage for about a year. I though after my kids moved out we would have intimacy more often. But it hasnt happened at all. He dont want it. So I have gave up on it. We get along find as long as the sex subject doesnt come up.


  50. md October 23, 2009 at 5:00 pm

    My marriage of 16 years fell apart due to the lack of sex and yes, sexual incompatability. We tried therapy, but I was already over the edge. It’s so very sad as the courts, at least where I live, don’t recognize this as a problem. I had an affair, got caught and divorced losing much in assets, all of my pets, but gained the return of my esteem.
    Almost ten years later, I now live with a wonderful man, with a normal sex drive, who just adores me and my body, too!

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