All men share a secret life. It may surprise you to learn that it’s a life of the mind. It began when Cell 1 swam across the pool of primordial soup with something clever to say to Cell 2, and it has propelled men toward the opposite sex ever since. It’s the way a guy thinks about sex, and under no circumstances – should it be revealed to women.
Often, when my girl friends seek advice on their confusion and frustration with male behavior, I find myself explaining truths about the male mind’s sexual obsession. They are hard, sad, and embarrassing…for all parties. Sometimes they laugh. Sometimes they refuse to believe me. But usually I’m just looked at with pity.
Here’s what I tell them:
· For a guy to see a woman he is attracted to is to undress and imagine her in bed with him.
Sexual fantasies flicker through a guy’s mind more than he considers his next meal.
· Even if there is no sexual tension in a male-female friendship, he’s imagined sleeping with you.
Guys are wired not only to seek partners, but to consider partners who might be available to him. According to one friend of mine, “It probably happened as soon as we met, and it happens more the longer we’ve known each other.”
· For a single guy, there’s a sexual subtext to every interaction with an attractive female. Even a friendly hello or name exchange.
In a guy’s mind, it makes him one step closer to a sexual relationship. While this sexual tension is usually an accompanying thought to a sincere interaction, for some men it’s the whole point.
· Most men ardently distrust each other’s motivations because they know exactly how guys think. To admit this to a woman is to implicate oneself.
Instead, men wage silent wars of suspicion and jealousy in their heads.
And then comes the least believable part: That sexually-motivated thinking actually has little bearing on our relationships and behavior.
The frequency of sexual fantasies and chatter in the male mind necessarily becomes background noise to the conscious mind. This how men always think, and it doesn’t invalidate what is sacred about love, relationships or sex. Nor does it serve as an excuse for any of the bad things men do in relationships.
The healthiest way to conduct any relationship is honestly. Acting honestly means confronting truths, and it’s better to admit to and understand sexually-motivated thinking than to conceal it.
I’ve always delivered the truth to my girlfriends to help them decode male behavior and make better judgments in their relationships. I’ll be delivering it in this column for you, too.Which signals are you getting – or not getting from your guy? How can I help you decode the male mind?
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Hi Contrary Mary…..
LOL…..YES !!!!! I agree…women DO have all the power….
…but the key is making them believe and act as if they do.
IF women would only BELIEVE that they have all the power !!! That is part of what I try to show women in my readings…I’ve used the expression ” take back your power ” many, many times.
Blessed Be )O(…..Gina Rose ext.9500
Just as I sent my question and came back to this blog, ContraryMary’s comment came up. I have heard that before that women have all the power, but I have yet to see that it is true. I am at a point that I feel I have no power at all. It seems no matter how I handle a situation, I come out the loser. I have read so many articles on relationships and how to handle men and how to date and all the rest. It seems I always try the wrong approach with the wrong men. I am beginning to think it is different depending on the man you are dating or involved with at that time. To be honest with you, I am about ready to give up completely. I have tried patience and lost. I have tried setting boundaries and lost. LOL. Seems nothing works for me right now. I have had so many readings with this site in the past year and am no closer to the outcome than with the first reading. But I do wish one thing. The very first reading I got, the psychic that is no longer with CP, called this man by name almost. She used a version of his name. Not his given name but I thought it was amazing that she got that close. She did hit on specifics and told me that she picked up on a woman with negative energy that would betray him. I broke into tears thinking of him going through more heartbreak as he had experienced a shattering of his heart several years earlier. After a year and all the things that have gone on, I realized that the woman with negative energy was me. It never entered my mind at the time of the reading but now I know she saw me. I so wish I had known how to use my power if women have it all. If only she could have seen it was me and warned me. Maybe everything would have taken a different turn. This may be a new favorite blog if it tunes the ladies into just what makes a man tick. I know I wish I had known and wish I did now, lol. I wonder sometime if we will ever know how to handle the men that come into our lives.
I do understand that men think differently than women. And I also understand that men look at women with sex in their minds. I guess my question is this….If a man truly loves one certain woman, can she look the other way and ever know that he will always come home to her? In my experience, seeing others relationships and my own, I have yet to know of one man that is completely faithful. If a woman just accepts this as part of being a man, does he see her as being understanding and love her more or does he see her as a doormat and think he can treat her as he wishes? And is there anything a woman can do to ensure that her man only looks and thinks but never touches? I know that by Biblical standards this would not be accepted, but to hold onto the one you love, is it feasible?
I’ve written a collection of fact-based fiction stories about exactly this subject. The book is titled: PLAYING WITH FIRE: What Men don’t Want Their Wives and Daughters To Know.
It’s satirical, action-packed, and hard-hitting. I have two professional degrees, yet got turned down by the nunmerous–countless–literary agents in NYC because it cut too close to the bone. I also have decades of experience with the subject. I realize I should have self-published years ago, but now don’t have the money. One thing I’ll add which the male voice we heard did not say: Women have all the power.
Hi,
I built my career as a psychic that reads for Psychiatrists, Psychologists, and various different therapists ( sex, drug, alcohol ,family etc.), not to mention I’ve read for almost every Law Enforecment agency in USA and canada….
These professionals will all tell you…men think much differently than women…..in fact they are genetically hard wired to react emotionally much differently than women do.
And after reading for both sexs for 43 years…I can tell you this is true.
Blessed Be )O(…Gina Rose ext.9500
DO men really think about their friends’ girlfriends? Ew.