When Men Love Strong Women

May 26, 2010 at 11:11 am

Housekeeping Monthly published an article called “The Good Wife’s Guide” on May 13, 1955, which described in detail what a perfect wife should be. Highlights include:

  • Be interesting for him.
  • Be happy to see him.
  • Make the evening his. Never complain if he comes home late.
  • Don’t ask him questions about his actions, or question his judgment or integrity.
  • And the big one… A good wife always knows her place.
  • These days, many men still crave the lifestyle that only a June Cleaver could provide. The perfect wife is still thought by some men as gentle, passive, giving, and all-sacrificing. But what about strength? Strong women can also be very attractive to men. Some of their most defining characteristics are:

    • Confidence and security in herself.
    • Clear direction in life.
    • Emotional and financial stability.
    • Ability to take control in the bedroom.

    Men who prefer “weak” women may actually be compensating for their own insecurities. Men who are self sufficient, empowered, and confident in their own worth prefer a strong woman who can challenge them and keep them on their toes. Strong men look for strong women.

    Yet when an insecure, controlling man loves an empowered woman, problems are sure to ensue. This is where the phrase “power struggle” ultimately comes from. If you notice a power struggle taking over your relationship, ask your partner what they need. Even though you shouldn’t come right out and say it, what you’re looking for are the reasons they feel insecure in the partnership. Sit down and talk to them about your roles. Make sure that they understand that you’re both on the same team.

    Alas, some men are not cut out for strong women, but not all of these women are as inviting as others. There are some very attractive, intelligent, strong women out there who have a lot of difficulty finding a life partner. While their choice in insecure men may very well be a factor, they may also be a part of their own problem.

    When a man loves a strong woman, he is also in awe of her femininity. He isn’t just looking for a savvy business partner, but for someone who is gentle, giving, warm, affectionate, nurturing, and thoughtful. Secure women need to remember that there is great satisfaction in allowing a partner to occasionally take the lead. As in the Argentine Tango, too strong of a woman can be a difficult dance partner. She must relinquish herself to the care of her dance partner, who will lead them by tapping into their heart connection.

    In other words, he isn’t controlling her, but rather guiding their equal partnership through a very intimate and trusting bond. The true magic behind dance can be said to describe the give-and-take nature of the romantic love found between two equally empowered lovers (soulmates). Strength isn’t always knowing how to take care of yourself and those around you, but also relinquishing your care into the hands of another.

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    10 Responses to “When Men Love Strong Women”

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    1. sedonaextension5272
      sedonaextension5272 June 9, 2010 at 4:33 pm

      Thanks for such a thoughtful article, Eric!

      I love hearing everyone’s stories and rich commentary!

      Relationships can be a vehicle for personal change and transformation. When the blush of joyous heart connection, love and acceptance wear off and learned or unconscious patterns show up in our relationships, we have a wonderful opportunity to create change in our selves. And we have our partner to thank for providing the mirror.

      It may not be easy, but relationships can teach us to become more or our self, to become stronger, softer, more confident, more flexible, less flexible, secure, the list goes on!

      And the transformations go on. Look how far we’ve all come since 1955!

      Blessings


    2. lovehelp June 8, 2010 at 11:15 pm

      Great article and shows how times have changed over the years, yet some men haven’t managed to change with them.

      @Duck – my own marriage ended when I started on the career path once my children were grown up. You are right, it’s much better to be treat as an equal. I hope you don’t wait too long. :)

    3. Yas
      Yas May 27, 2010 at 5:51 pm

      Wonderful article Eric. I do agree that it take a strong man, to love a strong woman. Also, I do notice how these days many strong women loose touch with their femininity or gentile side.

      Unfortunately, even in our modern society, strong men are rare to find. I’m still looking for my strong king charming!

    4. misskrystal
      misskrystal May 27, 2010 at 7:39 am

      Wow-I really enjoyed reading this. Awesome, Eric. Also, wonderful response from Duckling.
      Cheers,
      Miss Krystal


    5. Jai Krishna May 26, 2010 at 5:56 pm

      sorry about the typos ….


    6. Jai Krishna May 26, 2010 at 5:53 pm

      Hello Eric,
      Thank you for the interesting Article, and a Hello to you too, Ms. Lovely. Thank you for the insightful commentary. Yes, there is love and then there are stereotypical, contractual relationships that fit into convention and convenience. Think of a mother’s love for her child, even though they are clearly not equals, she still nourishes, teaches, nurtures and raises them, because this love is pure, natural and unconditional. This is the type of unconditional love all mature adult relationships are capable of. People either don’t strive for it, don’t know about it or they get overwhelmed and quit when faced with the being so close to the victory that it promises. Love is a very strong bond that makes up for all faults and weaknesses. For both the man and the woman balance in complementing and making up for one another is the key. For all you people looking to do this, you need to first reprioritize your value system. Is love more important to you than success? Can you buy Love? Do you believe that love is the source of true happiness in life? Can you compare soul mates to things like retail love with options and expiry dates? Does your Love act as an inspiration and a fuel when it comes to all things in life and not just your personal success? All love is selfless, understanding and nurturing. Love never quits just like those who choose to love. There are plenty of strong, attractive, successful women out there. But is you personal value system mundane and worldly? If so take a hard look at yourself on the inside and the outside. Make a few changes that will lead you to finding your true purpose in life through something as empowering as love. The most attractive women in my life include my mother and two sisters, plus this great wonderful girl I met who’s always been a winner in my book both in heart and spirit. The roles they play as women, as mothers, sisters and daughters clearly showcase their unique abilities as women. It makes them beautiful. You learn from such a wife, lover or girl friend….. lessons no one else can teach. For those who believe in taking action and having a loving and positive attitude anyone and everyone can be molded into successful and strong individuals. Insecurities, fears, inadequacies and problems in general, need to be addressed, worked with and viewed with compassion, positivity and determination as opportunities and lessons in life that can take you a step higher spiritually, emotionally or otherwise. In marriages, relationships, love and life there are winners and there are losers. Those that quit never win and those that win never quit. Soul mates are fine examples of souls that never settle for anything less than the true happiness they value in the eternal bond of love they share, reciprocate and cherish as strong spiritual memories from the past that mold their future eternally.
      - Love, Peace , Blessings and best wishes to all my dear friends and fellow readers out there.
      - P.S – An idea can change your life. Love is not just an ideal it is an idea, a divine intelligence and a heavenly virtue that gels everything universally beyond time. Discover it ……….. I promise you it’s waiting to be found. It’s a warm hug you’ll never forget………… :)


    7. Jai Krishna May 26, 2010 at 4:37 pm

      Thank you Ms. Lovely,
      Your Mantra
      “If you are waiting for anything in order to live and love without holding back, then you suffer.”
      is now my mantra :)


    8. The Lovely Duckling May 26, 2010 at 2:32 pm

      Hi, Eric,

      I absolutely LOVED this article. I’ve read the article you mention from Good Housekeeping, as well as another written during the middle ages called a Medieval Home Companion. It was written by a middle-aged man for his teenage wife, and interesting to say the least.

      Your article explains a lot about what’s wrong in my current relationship…a strong woman is incredibly intimidating to an insecure man. His attempts at controlling another person is only compensation for feeling like he has no control over anything else, but it is severely damaging to a relationship. A strong woman will make it out of such a relationship and fare far better than the man does. Sometimes the gender roles can be reversed as well, with women becoming domineering and controlling. I’ve seen it first hand and it is just as destructive either way.

      Gender is not as important as equality. Any relationship this imbalanced is bound to be destructive and implode at some point. Sadly, it’s unhealthy for both parties involved. As Darwin might have pointed out if he had given relationship advice in his day, the fitter of the two will survive. Regardless of personality strengths, only a balanced relationship will give what each person needs. It’s about sharing a life together, not one giving up his/her life for the other.

      The most wonderful thing is to be treated as an equal and valued as a person. Having friends who have treated me this way has really demonstrated to me what I want in my life and why I need to end the relationship I am in. I have gotten nothing from this relationship and I no longer have anything to give. Once I extricate myself from it, I know I will be open to a better relationship with someone who will treat me as his equal. I’m still in the unbalanced relationship, but I’ve been working to repair the broken pieces of my life and getting myself out into the life I want. It’s been a difficult process, but it’s been wonderful to realize my own personal power. This has become my mantra for the year: “If you are waiting for anything in order to live and love without holding back, then you suffer.” –David Deida

      Duck :)

    9. joycex9598
      joycex9598 May 26, 2010 at 2:12 pm

      Beautifully written Eric… and so important/relevant to these times, with women being such a strong force in the workplace, and many of them single moms. Power and strength can and should be gentle, too <3 Thanks so much for this! Joyce #9598

    10. Gina Rose ext.9500
      Gina Rose ext.9500 May 26, 2010 at 12:22 pm

      Very interesting article, Eric……well done !!!!! just proves what I’ve learned from my male clients……is that they run from needy, clingy, insecure women…..and are searching for secure, independent type women as partners and wives.

      I loved the example of the Argentine Tango……very nice imaginary visual !!!!!

      Blessed Be )O(
      Gina rose ext.9500

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