“Tying the knot” is usually a high priority for women of a certain age, but as we all know, this is rarely true for men. In the timelines of our lives, both genders intend to settle down and get married, but the real challenge is in figuring out just where our guy stands in this chronology. Let’s take a look at a few good indicators that will help us differentiate between permanent procrastination and honest intention.
1. His Career and Finances are Uncertain
Despite our modern view of gender roles, most men still like to believe that they can provide for their mate. If our guy feels uncertain about his career or doubtful about his financial prospects, he may put off taking the plunge until he feels more stable. This is actually a very mature reason for a man to delay matrimony, in as much as financial stability is crucial to a happy and successful marriage. However, be wary of any man who uses career and financial concerns as an endless delaying tactic, despite signs that his prospects are improving. In such cases, we need to admit to ourselves that he just doesn’t want to commit.
2. He Hasn’t Brought You Home to Mom
Most men are close to their mothers, and frequently to their family as a whole, which makes any invitation to a family gathering a good indicator of his commitment to us and our relationship. If men see us as future members of their families, they will want to include us in their clan’s celebrations, giving family members an opportunity to get to know and love us as they do. If we have been dating our guy for quite awhile and he’s never mentioned his mom or family, signs for a marital union are pretty dismal.
3. He Has a Separate Life That Doesn’t Include You
Being a part of a couple means feeling like part of a team, sharing time, interests, friends and even money, while retaining an individual identity. In a marriage, this partnership only strengthens and deepens as we choose to share the rest of our lives with that special someone. If he seems to keep a big part of his life separate from us – having many friends whom we never meet, often making plans without inviting us – it’s a sure sign that he’s not really ready to be a part of a couple.
4. He Says It’s Not the Right Time
Many women have fallen for this line in their stagnant relationships with the men they love. In our desire to be with him, we can overlook that red flag titled procrastination. We allow him to make excuses as to why waiting a little while longer will somehow be better for our relationship. The reality is that if our guy is making excuses as to why he doesn’t want to make that final commitment, we need to face the cold fact that he probably doesn’t want to marry us. Because even though men may take longer before finding a mate and settling down, when they feel they have found the right person, they take that final step with both feet eagerly on the move.
5. You’re Engaged, But He Won’t Set a Date
Women tend to think that if a man has actually proposed to us, then the relationship is in the bag, so to speak. We reason that he would hardly put a ring on our finger unless he knew he wanted to spend the rest of his life with us. Unfortunately, this isn’t always the case. Some men propose to women without setting a date, with the hopes that this dramatic gesture will hold her at bay for an extended period of time. If a man is unsure if he wants to be with us, or sure that he ultimately does not, an indefinite wedding date is one way to procrastinate. Women can be pushy about marriage, and if her guy still wants to date her, even if he never intends to marry her, this “show of faith” will allow him to stall in neutral for a while longer. Eventually, ladies, we may have to realize that it’s never going to happen, and then make ourselves available for the right man to come along – the guy who just can’t wait to marry us.
What do you think – what’s the best way to tell if a man isn’t ready to marry you?