9 Normal Relationship Doubts

December 23, 2010 at 5:00 am

Doubts in a relationship are a normal part of an average partnership. What are the things that make us think twice? Porn, gassiness, jealousy and more! What constitutes a “normal” relationship? Is it normal to wonder about this? Yes it is. Let’s look at some of the research and theory behind the typical concern of whether or not we are a part of an average partership.

1. “Whenever I go on a date, I fill up like a balloon”- Normal. Many couples at one time or another have been faced with that uncomfortable bloated feeling during an intimate moment. While this is not a heavily researched subject, we do know that it is normal for a person to pass gas somewhere around 10 to 20 times a day. That’s anywhere from a quarter on up to two liters of gas ejected into the atmosphere on a daily basis. Trust me, you’re not alone!

2. “I caught my partner watching porn”- Normal. While the percentage found in the research varies depending on who is doing the asking, somewhere between 50 to 60 percent of all men in relationships view porn on a monthly basis. They may hide it, or they may share this experience with their partner. Nelson ratings recently reported that as many as 40 percent of women are viewing porn, which is 20 percent more than was suggested a number of years ago.

3. “I’m jealous every time my partner is away”- Abnormal. While a little jealousy on occasion maybe normal, if you find that you are jealous almost every time you’re apart, you are definitely among the minority. According to one university study, only 10 percent of couples have jealous thoughts around their partner on a recurring basis. Don’t let this green monster get you!

4. “I sometimes feel down about my relationship”- Normal. Sadness is a very common feeling that we all share. The question here, is what constitutes a normal sadness from a serious depression. If you occasionally feel down about your relationship, but can be lifted back up with a fun night or a good joke, you’re most likely normal. Nearly 40 percent of all sad people who walk through a psychiatrists office will be diagnosed as clinically depressed, however, some researchers think this is a bit excessive. Being occasionally sad is normal. When it is no longer normal, is when it consumes your life.

5. “My partner and I do not have enough sex”- Normal. It is quite normal for partners to feel as if they are not getting enough sex in their relationships. If you are finding time to get a roll in the hay at least once a week, then you should consider yourself among the best of them. 50 percent of all married couples only have sex a handful of times per month. Only 7 percent of couples maintain four or more times per week, so if you are anywhere near this, consider yourself lucky!

6. “We can’t get pregnant”- Normal. According to the Kinsey Institute, approximately 15 percent of all couples will have difficulty getting pregnant at some point. This problem might be compounded by stress, a medical condition, or overly tight, tighty-whities.

7. “We will never get a divorce”- Normal. It is quite normal for couples to believe their love will last forever. In fact, as many as 90 percent of all couples believe they’ve found the love of a lifetime. The problem is nearly half of these relationships will end as just another divorce statistic. This is not meant to be a depressive to those of you among this 90 percent, but rather a reminder to continue to work at your relationships. An overwhelming number of relationships end without making a good effort to save them.

8. “My partner and I argue once a week”- Normal. Every couples argues, there is not much question about that. Arguing as much as once or twice a week is not all that uncommon, either. It is not so much the frequency of the arguing that will hurt a couples relationship, but rather their ability to resolve their conflicts constructively. Also, learn to recognize the difference between a worthy argument and a petty difference.

9. My partner and I do not sleep in the same bed- Normal. At one time this was considered to be a prerequisite to a break-up, but today as many as one in five couples sleep apart, for no other reason than to get a better sleep. This is particularly true if one partner has some particularly annoying bedroom behaviors, such as snoring and, well, releasing the couple of liters of ‘gas’ we talked about earlier, under the covers.

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4 Responses to “9 Normal Relationship Doubts”

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  1. Declan January 23, 2013 at 7:17 am

    I’ve been scouring the Internet for advice but some seems to throw me off. I love my girlfriend very much, and I am very happy with her. But I just worry about us in the long run. She has a lot of friends, a lot male friends, and she has started to blow me off because she hasn’t seen them in ages, or because it will pan them off for another while. She doesn’t seem to realise how much I care about her, and how much I want to be with her. I feel I am sacrificing a lot more than she is and I am diving in head first while she’s gradually working herself in from the shallow end. I am so lucky to have found her, but I just want us to be reading from the same page. I’m trying to be patient, take my time and not rush into decisions. I think I am a tad jealous of her, she’s a lot more popular than me and has a lot of males around her. But she knows how much I love her and care for her more than anyone. We have got into some petty arguments recently, but it was usually related to alcohol and we just brushed it off. But I can’t help but feel a sense of hierarchy in the relationship. She needs her space, and I need to give it to her. We’ve been seeing eachother almost 9 months and I just thought we would be past the stage of having to think like this and would be completely comfortable around each other. I think it is my own paranoia to an extent. But something just isn’t sitting right. I feel I am the one doing the chasing and nothing has changed in her life other than the occasional date or weekend away. I feel I need to get back to myself and doing things myself. Tracing back my thoughts of how this started, we hadnt seen eachother in a week, I couldn’t wait to see her, I met her with her friends for a drink only to find out that her friends were angry when I decided to come down, because she wanted a ‘girls night’. I then got a round of shots for everyone as a goodwill gesture, but was ordered back to the bar to get more (she aplogised for this) then she seemed unhappy to be going home withe and leaving her friends’ party, which was supposed to be great fun. I just get the feeling she wouldn’t be bothered anymore. Then after all this she had a go at me for posting a video and a comment on her friends Facebook. At the minute, I feel she has a life, and I don’t. I’m trying to take a back step and give her some space, so that she realises how much I want this to work and for her to return the affection I show her on a daily basis


  2. Declan January 23, 2013 at 6:57 am

    I’ve been scouring the Internet for advice but some seems to throw me off. I love my girlfriend very much, and I am very happy with her. But I just worry about us in the long run. She has a lot of friends, a lot male friends, and she has started to blow me off because she hasn’t seen them in ages, or because it will pan them off for another while. She doesn’t seem to realise how much I care about her, and how much I want to be with her. I feel I am sacrificing a lot more than she is and I am diving in head first while she’s gradually working herself in from the shallow end. I am so lucky to have found her, but I just want us to be reading from the same page. I’m trying to be patient, take my time and not rush into decisions. I think I am a tad jealous of her, she’s a lot more popular than me and has a lot of males around her. But she kn

  3. Gina Rose ext.9500
    Gina Rose ext.9500 December 24, 2010 at 8:30 am

    Hi Carmen…….you are too funny….. LOL !!!!!

    well, you know, back in the 40′s & 50′s it was very common for couples to have twin beds in their bedrooms……

    My hubby used to snore, extremely loud and fart …..I finally gave up, even with ear plugs, and slept in a seperate bed too, as I am a light sleeper and just couldn’t fall to sleep with the on-going ” orchestra of noise”. We also owned a Boxer dog then too that would sleep in our bedroom and snore loudly…..between the dog and him…..the noise was just too much.

    Blessed Be )O(
    Gina Rose ext.9500

  4. Carmen Hexe
    Carmen Hexe December 23, 2010 at 5:07 pm

    Hahaha!! “I no longer sleep in the same bed with my spouse!” “But why?” “He farts all night.” ROFL!

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