10 Tips for Dating Successfully After Age 45

January 5, 2011 at 5:00 am

Wake up! It’s a new day, and we Baby Boomers—45 and older—are aging more gracefully and feeling more fabulous than our parents did. You’re not over-the-hill or out of the game if you’re 45 and single. The world is your kingdom—get out there. Create the love life you’re dreaming of. Here’s how.

1. Look for love in all the right places. Let friends know you’re seeking new people. Browse the Internet (with caution) or find Meetup groups where you live. Some people reconnect with high school or college sweethearts. Maybe a matchmaker is the choice for you.

2. Know something about your escort. If you’ve never met, chat on the phone. Talk about family and kids; touch lightly on career or job. Arrange to meet in a very public place.

3. Not every date will produce your soul mate, so set your expectations at playing and having fun. Want to find your true love? Take small risks and experience a variety of people. Don’t try to wrestle fate into submission, let your story unfold as it will.

4. If the guy is a smoker and you can’t stand that, look elsewhere for your next date. Does she drink way beyond socially, and that’s a turn off? Does he come on so strongly that you want to dive under the table? You don’t have to settle for second best. Evaluate carefully and make sure you pursue only those people that make you feel great.

5. If you haven’t dated for a while, ask someone to help you prepare. Is your perfume or aftershave overpowering? Would a new haircut or style boost your confidence? Are your clothes attractive, flattering and (above all) comfortable? Reinvent yourself, just for fun.

6. Choose an activity that encourages connecting. A movie may not be the best bet—how can you chat and get comfortable? You can learn a lot from sharing a meal with someone or from a friendly game of tennis, golf, or canasta.

7. First date? Make it a double date or a group event. Go with friends who can keep conversation going. It’s less intimidating to spend time with a new person when others are around to keep the ball in play.

8. Go ahead and flirt, but send the right messages. We all respond to a warm hand on the shoulder, or a gentle touch that says, “I’m enjoying your company and interested in you.” If you want to turn on the heat, do it with class and pay attention to the signals coming back.

9. When it’s time for sex, make it good, safe sex. It’s more difficult to get naked at 45 than it was at 25, so choose a partner you’ve formed a bond of trust with. Carry condoms. Before you hit the sack, talk out loud about general health. You’re both adults, this is the 21st Century, and there’s danger out there if you aren’t prudent.

10. Consider younger partners, older partners, and same age partners. I dated a man ten years my junior, and we both had a fantastic time. Older partners have great experiences to share, too. Let’s face it—the pond has fewer fish as we mature, and it’s not a bad thing to expand your thinking.

You deserve to be happy, and to enjoy your life and a simpatico partner can be the perfect way to do that. We’re living longer, more productive lives than any generation before us, and you may well find that love is lovelier the second time around.

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7 Responses to “10 Tips for Dating Successfully After Age 45”

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  1. Marysa April 24, 2014 at 8:11 am

    Merry Meet Gina, simiar to your responce, dating for me at 45 is a lot easier because I know myself so well. I would love to find someone who shares my spirituality. Any tips?
    BB, Marysa )o(


  2. monika antosik November 5, 2012 at 1:32 pm

    I’d like to start off by saying – who are the people in the photo? They look older thatn my parents! And I’m 46. Although I may look a little younger than my age, far out! They do look around 70. That aside, perfect advice! all makes sense and it is safe and sensible, what alot of new “daters” need. We forget easily, especially since some of us have been married for 20 years or so. But seriously! Get some younger looking people up there. Or make it 60 plus advice.


  3. Catherine August 17, 2012 at 7:01 pm

    This makes me feel a bit better about having just turned 46. Four years ago, I started a go-nowhere, on and off again relationship with someone who I think had narcissistic personality disorder. It was nothing but games, manipulations, and a whole lot of wasted time for me that I can’t get back. One of the things that hurt the most was that he said middle aged women with a good sense of humor can’t really meet anyone anymore, but a middle aged man with a good sense of humor can. He is now 60 and honestly, about two years ago I quit being attracted to him. But I am so upset that I wasted that time and I wonder if what he said is true. I am attractive and in shape, but the wrinkles are a bit more pronounced of course and I hope it is not too late for me to get out there and start dating again. I hope it is possible to find a man who is more mature and open-minded and doesn’t discount women for their age. Your article helped me feel a bit better.


  4. psychicreedx5105 January 5, 2011 at 12:46 pm

    That’s sound like great advice for all of us!
    One of the things I hear often from callers is that they don’t want to date.

    They want to be married, but they don’t want to date.

    That’s a lot like wanting to win the lottery without buying a ticket. That attitude shows that dating has, for some, been a very negative experience instead of the fun experience it can and should be.

    Dating doesn’t have to be daunting, scary, a chore, etc – and, unlike the lottery ticket scenario, dating doesn’t have to lead to marriage in order to be a success. If you are single – Date! Enjoy it! Make new friends! Enlarge that social circle! The new energy it will bring into your life can make all the difference.

    Reed
    x5105

  5. Jacqueline
    Jacqueline January 5, 2011 at 12:18 pm

    Hi Taryn,
    One thing that I have seen too often, is that we are way too hard on ourselves, we tend to knit pick our-self’s to pieces, we need to loosen up, laugh and enjoy life.

    Blessings and Big Hugs!
    Jacqueline x9472

  6. misskrystal
    misskrystal January 5, 2011 at 8:45 am

    This is a great article. However, my 101 year old grandma thinks anyone in their 40’s or 50’s are still babies lol
    I would like to add something-I have noticed that no matter what age a woman is, she should still be honest with herself when asked out on a date-First, she should really ask herself-“Do I feel curious about him, want to know more about him, do I feel any attraction at all? This is very important before you say, “YES”-
    Here is why-Whether she is mending a broken heart or feels any feelings of being lonely-If she goes on a date where she doesn’t feel the above key points mentioned, she will feel even more lonely and sad, after a dull date…..I see this time and time, again. It doesn’t take much experience to pin point feelings of
    “Not interested.” Be patient and wait for a connection or, possibly feeling you may have one…..Otherwise, it is just not a positive experience and can keep a woman feeling even more lonely, and even for some, hopeless….A lot of people don’t want to believe this, only until they exprience what I am saying. Ladies, this is just something I have observed for more than two decades of my professional experience… I even took this advice, from myself, when I was single in my thirties-So I know what it feels like…It’s when I did this, a better partner came to me-I listened to myself…..I am glad I did. I had a better time hanging out with friends and family, than going on dates that with men I darn well knew I had not any interest in. I was happier and it showed-And it was the right path…..Another positive about it, is, that I know how to entertain myself when my partner has other obligations-I dont go to pieces if he has a work trip or, is busy on a parent/child event-or does his kung fu.

    I heard something the other night, from a very lovely widow-She said, “It’s better to be alone than wishing you were alone.” How powerful and true. LADIES who are single write this on a piece of paper and put it up somewhere…It will help keep you on the right track so you can find your “right relationship”

    I feel there are great parts and wonderful suggestions for this article…Thank you.
    Happy Trails. Miss Krystal

  7. Gina Rose ext.9500
    Gina Rose ext.9500 January 5, 2011 at 6:03 am

    Hi,
    Dating, for me anyway, is alot more fun than when I was younger, maybe because I have a much better sense of who I am and what I want and what I expect.

    Blessed Be )O(
    Gina Rose ext.9500

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