Wake up! It’s a new day, and we Baby Boomers—45 and older—are aging more gracefully and feeling more fabulous than our parents did. You’re not over-the-hill or out of the game if you’re 45 and single. The world is your kingdom—get out there. Create the love life you’re dreaming of. Here’s how.
1. Look for love in all the right places. Let friends know you’re seeking new people. Browse the Internet (with caution) or find Meetup groups where you live. Some people reconnect with high school or college sweethearts. Maybe a matchmaker is the choice for you.
2. Know something about your escort. If you’ve never met, chat on the phone. Talk about family and kids; touch lightly on career or job. Arrange to meet in a very public place.
3. Not every date will produce your soul mate, so set your expectations at playing and having fun. Want to find your true love? Take small risks and experience a variety of people. Don’t try to wrestle fate into submission, let your story unfold as it will.
4. If the guy is a smoker and you can’t stand that, look elsewhere for your next date. Does she drink way beyond socially, and that’s a turn off? Does he come on so strongly that you want to dive under the table? You don’t have to settle for second best. Evaluate carefully and make sure you pursue only those people that make you feel great.
5. If you haven’t dated for a while, ask someone to help you prepare. Is your perfume or aftershave overpowering? Would a new haircut or style boost your confidence? Are your clothes attractive, flattering and (above all) comfortable? Reinvent yourself, just for fun.
6. Choose an activity that encourages connecting. A movie may not be the best bet—how can you chat and get comfortable? You can learn a lot from sharing a meal with someone or from a friendly game of tennis, golf, or canasta.
7. First date? Make it a double date or a group event. Go with friends who can keep conversation going. It’s less intimidating to spend time with a new person when others are around to keep the ball in play.
8. Go ahead and flirt, but send the right messages. We all respond to a warm hand on the shoulder, or a gentle touch that says, “I’m enjoying your company and interested in you.” If you want to turn on the heat, do it with class and pay attention to the signals coming back.
9. When it’s time for sex, make it good, safe sex. It’s more difficult to get naked at 45 than it was at 25, so choose a partner you’ve formed a bond of trust with. Carry condoms. Before you hit the sack, talk out loud about general health. You’re both adults, this is the 21st Century, and there’s danger out there if you aren’t prudent.
10. Consider younger partners, older partners, and same age partners. I dated a man ten years my junior, and we both had a fantastic time. Older partners have great experiences to share, too. Let’s face it—the pond has fewer fish as we mature, and it’s not a bad thing to expand your thinking.
You deserve to be happy, and to enjoy your life and a simpatico partner can be the perfect way to do that. We’re living longer, more productive lives than any generation before us, and you may well find that love is lovelier the second time around.