Cheating Blunders: 5 Reasons He May Take You Back

January 17, 2011 at 5:00 am

There are 5 reasons why a man might forgive you. Men who’ve been cheated on may not show their hurt, but will feel it deeply. Here’s how to address it. Just because men are generally less verbal about their feelings than women doesn’t mean they don’t feel just as deeply. If you’ve hurt him by cheating, you’ve got to be prepared that he may never take you back. As your actions have broken his trust, it will be up to him – and his capacity to forgive – as to whether or not you two ever get back together. Some people just cannot reopen their hearts after a deceit. With men, when a woman cheats, it not only betrays his trust, but challenges his confidence and manhood. At best, you will probably need to “eat crow” before he’ll let you into his heart again. Let’s look at a few reasons he may decide to give your relationship another shot.

1. His Great Love for You

If the two of you had something really special that you’ve both put a lot of time and love into, he may consider forgiving you and moving on. Each person in every relationship makes mistakes – it’s deciding whether your love and relationship is stronger and more important than the mistakes that keep two people together. He may conclude that he loves you in spite of this and agree to move forward. Once. If you’re a repeat offender and he keeps taking you back, the two of you are in an unhealthy and destructive relationship and need to admit to the fact that you are not good for one another.

2. Your Genuine Remorse

Was it a mistake? Do you feel awful and repentant about it? Communicating this to him will go a long way towards healing the rift you’ve caused. If you are disingenuous, he will most likely sense this and turn his back on you for good. But by being sorry and regretful, you open up the possibility of him forgiving you after he has taken time to lick his wounds and think things over. If he senses that you are purposefully careless with his trust and his heart, don’t expect any second chances in this millennia.

3. The Circumstance

The weight of the blow of infidelity may be slightly diminished depending upon the circumstances. A man may forgive a severe slip-up of this nature if he’s certain she was, say, “completely drunk and toasted.” The “it just happened” scenario plays out better than the premeditated affair that went on for months. Your reason and explanation for the affair can affect the outcome of his decision as well. If you were looking for companionship, for example, and he had been away frequently, he may be open-minded enough to try couples counseling to resolve your relationship issues. The same may go for cheating related to your sex lives. If the two of you haven’t been intimate in awhile, he may agree to sex therapy in an attempt to fix things.

4. He Can Forgive and Move On

The capacity for forgiveness varies from person to person, and is often contingent upon the offense. Breaking someone’s trust is one of the bigger blunders a person can make in any relationship, and the reality is that they may not get over it. If you are so lucky as to have found a guy who can forgive and forget, then you may count your many blessings. If he knows himself and has come to terms with the event and his feelings, then he may be able to move beyond your indiscretion. But he has to make that decision, and you cannot make it for him, no matter how much you may beg or apologize. He’ll know whether this is something he can make peace with or not.

5. He Can See That You’ve Changed

If you can prove to him that you are not the person you were that made the decision to betray his trust in that way, he may decide to open up to you again. He has to believe this, so you will have to prove it to him in your own way. He needs to feel secure in the fact that this will never happen again, and convincing him that you are a better, more mature person, will go a long way towards him trusting you again with his heart.

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10 Responses to “Cheating Blunders: 5 Reasons He May Take You Back”

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  1. mary March 28, 2014 at 9:15 am

    I need. Some advice I was only talking to a guy didn’t do anything now my husband knows butiI keep explaining to him nothing ever happened. An I understand he’s not going to believe me. I know I did wrong even if I was just talking. My husband said everything is going to be the same but not us is like we’re going to be room mates. And it it hurts me so much.. if he really wanted to leave me he would of already right? ,but I need someone to tell me something to comfort me even if it’s going to hurt. So what you girls think?

  2. Niaa June 4, 2013 at 6:54 pm

    Nate. please take me backkkk :(

  3. emily May 4, 2013 at 1:39 pm

    Interesting points you got there,expect #3 does not make sense to Me,seriously but thankyou!

  4. Desire N October 29, 2011 at 5:17 am

    It si realy good to share ths kind issues with others. But you guys let me tell you my stories. I am married and my husband was cheating and went to the extent of abadoned me with two minor kids and two step duaghter without an any support. He cohabit wth the girlfrnd and forget abt the family completely. (It is very long story)On the serious note, U expect me to forgive that person? With all the pain and suffering? Aaaag! Cum on guys. U dont hurt the one you love. Mistakes are part of life. But sometimes is to muuch!!!!!

  5. Rose Cocca May 6, 2011 at 4:20 am

    I DO NOT CHEAT….just because im doing with you think i do it everybody…WRONG..are you kidding..between you and my partner is enough for a lifetime for me to handle…why dont you trust me..i trust you…is that is only thing you are looking sex..that means you dont have any love in your heart…DO YOU REALLY WANT TO CHEAT…is that why you want to be free…

  6. myriam March 30, 2011 at 10:53 am

    There’s a sixth reason why he’ll get you back…in order that every time you make a mistake…or he makes a mistake…to throw into your face that you were a cheater. I thought he loved me…it is kinda complicated..i’ve met him when I was in love with someone else…but the relationship with that someone else was over. So, we’ve started something…but my someone else tried to get back to me. So I’ve got back, but kept both relationships for a period of time. In the end, I decided to move forward to that new guy, asking him if he’s ready to forgive me for going back to my old love. He said he can, so we started a relationship over 4 years ago now. But everytime we have a problem, he always goes back to the past, reminding me that me either I was wrong at the beginning and how he had to deal with me sleeping with another man….I go crazy, I say I go out of that relationship and that he is free to choose whoever he likes, we do not talk for a week or two and then he comes back begging me to forgive him and telling that he said that only to hurt me because he was angry….But that scenario keeps repeating and I am starting to have enough.
    So, he can forgive you, but use that every time you go wrong…or he goes wrong…

  7. tray January 18, 2011 at 9:25 am

    Good article but I have a problem with item #3, “The Circumstance” (“completely drunk and toasted”).

    Sorry, just can’t agree. It’s absurd and almost amusing that anyone claims “innocence” or “less guilt” because they did something under the influence of alcohol, ala “I DIDN’T know what I was doing because I was DRUNK”. Please. Barring certain mental illnesses, that’s simply a popular myth and perennial excuse.

    I don’t call myself an expert but I grew up around alcoholics and also made academic studies of that condition and so-called “disease” in college (Psychology co-major). More than anything else, the direct result of the excessive consumption of alcohol is that it lowers inhibitions or sometimes removes them altogether. Then what’s left? …. The true personality, the personality unencumbered by social convention and taboos, the personality that might be angry, sad, happy, outspoken, withdrawn, agoraphobic, gregarious, frigid, overly amorous, etc. Almost exclusively, being “drunk” gives one permission to say and do things that they ordinarily wouldn’t if it weren’t for societal and/or moral constrictions.

    As only one of many examples, astute business people know this too. That’s one reason they invite clients for “drinks”.

  8. Jacqueline
    Jacqueline January 18, 2011 at 7:49 am

    Hi Alina,
    Your article had some very thought provoking points, I do believe people can go through a difficult time and sometimes seek acceptance and comfort outside the relationship, this does not mean that this is a personality behavior trait, people can realize that they have made huge mistakes reevaluate there life and change, never cheating again, but being better for the learning experience, once they forgive themselves, as well as be forgiven by there partner.

    Blessings and Big Hugs!
    Jacqueline x9472

  9. Psychic Reed ext.5105 January 17, 2011 at 10:42 am

    As a man that has been cheated on a time or two in the distant past, I can tell you that I agree with this advice. I’m old fashioned enough to insist on fidelity, but progressive enough to understand that not every one does.

    Being cheated on left me feeling lower than a toad in a dry well. It also made me scratch my head in wonder (they thought they could cheat on a psychic? Really?) but it is possible to forgive- once.

    Guys, if this keeps happening to you, move on.
    Gals, if you keep feeling drawn toward such indiscretion, do your guy a favor and break up with him.

    I say “guys” and “gals” but the same holds true for my LGBT folk.
    Cheating affects all relationships, and not in a good way. If you are making the decision of whether or not to forgive, make it carefully.

    ext 5105

  10. Gina Rose ext.9500
    Gina Rose ext.9500 January 17, 2011 at 7:55 am


    Ok…it comes down to whether or not he can forgive you ( some men can )…..and it also comes down to whether or not this was a one time incident or repeating pattern of promiscuous behavior on her part.

    But I highly recommend relationship couples counseling if this occurs, as it’s important to uncover the reasons WHY a person feels a need to step outside of their relationship to cheat, to insure that it doesn’t happen again, OR, to determine whether or not this couple really should even be together to begin with.
    Couples counseling is good for the healing process as well, both will learn how to use the knowledge and tools, learned in counseling, to cope and move forward.

    Blessed Be )O(
    Gina Rose ext.9500

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