7 Things Women Should Not Compromise in a Relationship

February 16, 2011 at 11:00 am

There are several things that a woman should not have to compromise in a relationship: family, friends, morals, happiness, individuality and more. We’ve all been told that “relationships are full of compromise” – and to a large extent, they are. When two people with distinct personalities, desires, and needs merge their lives, there’s bound to be some work ahead. The key is to be flex­i­ble in the relationship without feeling like a door­mat or compromising your inner values. While there are plenty of things that should be open to negotiation in the partnership, here are a few key elements that make you who you are, that you should never compromise:

 

1. Identity

The essence of who you are should never be up for compromise. Your unique personality, your hopes and dreams, should be respected and appreciated by your significant other. If you find yourself feeling like you need to give up the things that make you uniquely you in order to fit into your mate’s lifestyle, then you’re compromising too much of yourself.

2. Family

Family units are never perfect, and the mate is often required to cope with as many of your extended family’s problems as you do. Cutting your family out of your life to satisfy your beau is destructive, and will most certainly lead to you resenting your partner for the loss of these precious family ties. With families, both partners need to realize that the healthy compromise comes in accepting their loved one’s family, flaws and all.

 

3. Friendships

He doesn’t have to like your friends; after all, they are yours and not his. As long as your friendships are healthy and they add something positive to your life, he should not ask you to give them up for him. Again, you will come to resent him for sacrificing the joy you receive from these important relationships.

 

4. Morals

The basic moral system which most of us have firmly in place in our psyches should always be respected. Loving someone does not mean absorbing their moral values. If you compromise on these, your conscience will suffer, eventually causing you to resent your partner. Better to find a mate with similar moral values that the two of you can use as a guide throughout your lives.

 

5. Self-Esteem

Any relationship that makes a woman feel bad about herself is an unhealthy one. If making you feel diminished somehow makes him feel more secure, or if pointing out your faults has become his favorite habit, you need to re-evaluate this person’s place in your life. Perhaps the two of you are a poor match. Perhaps, he is looking for an emotional punching bag. Whatever the case, your loved one should appreciate you, admire things about you, and be supportive. If not, cut him loose before more damage is done.

 

6. Happiness

Happiness comes in many forms in the course of a lifetime. When you find those people, hobbies, and experiences which bring you genuine joy, your loved one should be supportive of these things in your life. If you feel the need to suppress your desires and needs for the good of the relationship, then you are compromising too much.

 

7. Individuality

Co-dependency can and does happen with some couples, to the point where they forget how to function as separate individuals. Keeping your own personal interests and personality quirks is healthy, no matter how tight the bond between you and your mate. If every sentence you utter has a “we” instead of an “I,” if being separated from your mate for even a short amount of time causes major distress, you have sacrificed your individuality to the relationship. This is certain to cause resentment and identity crises down the line. Appreciate and celebrate your differences, and never stifle those distinctions between the two of you.

 

If a compromise makes you feel taken advantage of, or lessens you somehow as a person, then it is an unhealthy compromise. The art of compromise must come with mutual respect, good intentions and honesty. A compromise should not diminish either person as an individual, but strengthen the relationship as a whole. Become a master of healthy compromise and see how much happier and healthier your life and relationships become.

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6 Responses to “7 Things Women Should Not Compromise in a Relationship”

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  1. Mmaphuti April 3, 2014 at 12:10 pm

    Hi I’m in a relationship twith my baby’s father for 10years now,he’s cheated so many times in our relationg and I really love him,I don’t know what to do please advise me


  2. Amin July 20, 2012 at 2:10 am

    Appreciate your taking the time go over this, I seorsuily feel strongly concerning this and love learning extra during this topic. If doable, since you achieve expertise, would you mind updating your weblog with further info? It is extremely useful for me.


  3. Ankita chowdhury September 2, 2011 at 9:37 am

    Dis is an awesome article….must read for all women


  4. margot February 24, 2011 at 9:14 am

    I married this man for ten years and had three children, the whole marriage was unhealthy for myself fron day one….buy I assumed that in order to create a family one should give up to some part of personal life, it turn out that part became my whole life and I almost died buy courageously I finally divorced from him, anyway, my three children demanded me so much to raised them in time and energy, that again it felt like they were swallowing my life. After that my mother became very ill and of course that was upon my shoulders too…..now the younguest is 21 and I am trying to pick up the pieces of myself that were left in the way and sometimes I wonder if this was common 30 yearss ago or I choose pourly based on dreams and young 20 years in love eyes, what do you thik ? before finding a new healthier mate I have to find me instead. I guess women were taught to put themselves behind as a way to show love for their families, give up personal agendas and commited fulfill to their love ones.

  5. Jacqueline
    Jacqueline February 16, 2011 at 4:10 pm

    Hi Alina,
    Great article would love to add, one should not compromise spirituality beliefs, it is so important that we be open and accepting of our partners beliefs with out trying to manipulate them into seeing our point of view,
    each person have the right to believe the way that suits them.

    Blessings and Big Hugs!
    Jacqueline x9472

  6. Gina Rose ext.9500
    Gina Rose ext.9500 February 16, 2011 at 2:20 pm

    When one gives up their identity and individuality , to anybody, they give away their power, the freedom to make their own decisions and thus control over their destiny and self. Never place your life, your destiny, or who you are, in the hands of another…..for any reason. Remember we are all here to walk our own individual Karmic path and fullfill our own individual Karmic destiny first !

    Be who you are, if there are specific areas you need to work on, then do so under the guidance of a professional counselor , or somebody you trust with experience in that area.
    Be the best you can be, and if your partner does not reciprocate and is unwilling to grow and change,or at least meet you halfway,then think about a needed change.

    Also I would add respect, if your partner does not respect you then you really need to give the relationship some serious thought and attention. Remember though that any relationship is a two way street, and you need to be aware that you are respecting your partner as well.

    Blessed Be )O(
    Gina Rose ext.9500

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