How to Give an Ultimatum Without Chasing Him Away

January 20, 2012 at 12:00 am

Getting Serious Without Alienating Somebody

When giving an ultimatum, taking slight but necessary precautions are essential. It’s all about compromising. Both parties must be willing to make an effort to re-evaluate the actions that have caused the relationship to fall apart. It’s also forcing your partner to make immediate, drastic changes, and this can cause a bit of uneasiness. Though this may be your intended goal, your relationship can end with disastrous results. Here are a few suggestions on how to deliver an ultimatum and also learn how to accept one when it’s given to you.

Ultimatums are like making a deal, and we all know that when making deals, there’s always room for negotiating. So be open and optimistic about the situation. It’s important to make sure that you are being extremely honest with your partner. Be prepared to negotiate and also to reaffirm your place in the relationship. When demanding an ultimatum, try to stay away from negative statements. Use friendly words that sound like you’re compromising instead of words that contain negation. Feelings are important, and it’s also important to stay true to them. But try not to get overly emotional. State the facts and try to win common ground with your mate. Manipulating or disguising your feelings will only hinder the relationship further.

If the ultimatum is presented to you, try not to get defensive. Naturally you will have your defense mechanisms up.  Your natural “flight or fight” instincts will kick in and you will be forced to take action. Take your time to respond and listen attentively to what they’re asking you to change. Understand that your partner has taken this course of action to try to get through to you. In their eyes, this is the last resort. It’s a cry for help and they are desperately asking you to change. However, stay true to yourself. Know the difference between constructive criticism and someone trying to control you.

“Keep your partner happy by being happy yourself.” – Blythe ext. 5339

If you’re at the point where you want to give an ultimatum or have been given one, understand that the decision you make will affect the outcome of the relationship. Think it through thoroughly. I would recommend talking to a counselor or trusted friend in case it involves abuse of any form. This may be your opportunity to leave an unhappy or unhealthy relationship. On the other hand, this may possibly be another chance to redeem and save your relationship.

“Don’t be afraid to make the changes that are necessary for your life.” – Psychic Venus ext.9463

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6 Responses to “How to Give an Ultimatum Without Chasing Him Away”

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  1. Darnia Hinds January 25, 2012 at 11:59 am

    Mama you are getting better and better every time as a matter of fact this is a good article i like it a lot. lot of love


  2. Emily Marie Fate January 21, 2012 at 1:11 pm

    I think you need a new best friend to help you aut with some careing for other baby’s and some help by needing to know that you can help other people’s live is a good thing to help the poor people’s good things to do.


  3. Emily Marie Fate January 21, 2012 at 1:04 pm

    I think you should have a advisment by having a great idea to go find a new friend and be brave to have a quistion also too.


  4. jana January 20, 2012 at 2:01 pm

    Time is almost here for my ultimatums, ones to be given and received!!!! its extremely scary.
    Feeling very squashed and controlled, and not understood, and my time in life where I can now have a life again, but he doesnt want me to, not really, he likes me home, he knows where I am. I guess no trust.
    I know he has issues with me too, and I know what they are, just beginning to wonder is it worth the bother, do I want to change, and does he???? To be continued…….

  5. Quinn ext.5484
    -quinn ext. 5484 January 20, 2012 at 11:58 am

    once a relationship is at the bottom line for either person then the choices comes into play.
    there are more than 10 solutions to every problem.
    an ultimatum can be given where both sides are winners.
    yet like in a game of chess thinking ahead five moves is not easy and for each move in a relationship you have to be careful not to get caught in your own trap.


  6. Amy glienna January 20, 2012 at 3:35 am

    Definetly need to find a way to be brave and move

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