Getting Serious Without Alienating Somebody
When giving an ultimatum, taking slight but necessary precautions are essential. It’s all about compromising. Both parties must be willing to make an effort to re-evaluate the actions that have caused the relationship to fall apart. It’s also forcing your partner to make immediate, drastic changes, and this can cause a bit of uneasiness. Though this may be your intended goal, your relationship can end with disastrous results. Here are a few suggestions on how to deliver an ultimatum and also learn how to accept one when it’s given to you.
Ultimatums are like making a deal, and we all know that when making deals, there’s always room for negotiating. So be open and optimistic about the situation. It’s important to make sure that you are being extremely honest with your partner. Be prepared to negotiate and also to reaffirm your place in the relationship. When demanding an ultimatum, try to stay away from negative statements. Use friendly words that sound like you’re compromising instead of words that contain negation. Feelings are important, and it’s also important to stay true to them. But try not to get overly emotional. State the facts and try to win common ground with your mate. Manipulating or disguising your feelings will only hinder the relationship further.
If the ultimatum is presented to you, try not to get defensive. Naturally you will have your defense mechanisms up. Your natural “flight or fight” instincts will kick in and you will be forced to take action. Take your time to respond and listen attentively to what they’re asking you to change. Understand that your partner has taken this course of action to try to get through to you. In their eyes, this is the last resort. It’s a cry for help and they are desperately asking you to change. However, stay true to yourself. Know the difference between constructive criticism and someone trying to control you.
“Keep your partner happy by being happy yourself.” – Blythe ext. 5339
If you’re at the point where you want to give an ultimatum or have been given one, understand that the decision you make will affect the outcome of the relationship. Think it through thoroughly. I would recommend talking to a counselor or trusted friend in case it involves abuse of any form. This may be your opportunity to leave an unhappy or unhealthy relationship. On the other hand, this may possibly be another chance to redeem and save your relationship.
“Don’t be afraid to make the changes that are necessary for your life.” – Psychic Venus ext.9463