Recognizing Red Flags in New Relationships

January 13, 2012 at 12:00 am

Learning to Spot the Warning Signs

Sometimes when a relationship ends, you think to yourself “If only I had known earlier…” It’s possible that red flags, or clues to troublesome issues, might have presented themselves early in the relationship, but you did not recognize them. Or you might have denied their existence. Learning how to identify red flag warnings in the beginning of a relationship—and acting on them quickly—will help prevent pain later on.

He Doesn’t Come Pick You Up for Dates

If the new man in your life asks to meet you somewhere rather than come to pick you up for a date, there could be a problem. It’s possible that he doesn’t own a car. Or he might be married and doesn’t want to be tracked. Other possibilities are that he is plain lazy, expects others to cater to his needs, or doesn’t like being inconvenienced. You might never know the real reason, because if he is hiding something that he thinks you won’t like, he will lie. So if he refuses to come pick you up, do not go out with him until he agrees to do so. If you never see him again, you are better off that way. Get personalized advice, contact a psychic today!

Your Love Interest Is Not Available on Weekends

If the man or woman you are head-over-heels for can only see you on weekdays, there is a possibility that he or she is married or is otherwise leading a separate life that he or she is trying to hide from you, such as spending time with children from a previous relationship. Insist on getting together on weekends. If it doesn’t happen, then move on.

Too Much Intimacy Too Soon

If your new love interest is eager to tell you his or her entire life story, including details about therapy sessions, past relationships, money issues, or deep secrets, then question why this person has such a strong need to develop an instant bond. People who want to be your best friend or “soul mate” just hours after meeting you might be extremely lonely or could be trying to manipulate you. Instant intimacy is inappropriate behavior for people who are still only acquaintances. Politely ask to keep things light; do not feel pressured to reveal any personal information that makes you feel uncomfortable. If your crush is ready for a healthy relationship, then he or she will understand that developing a friendship and romance takes time to unfold. If not, end this relationship quickly.

“Real trust takes real time.” – Reed ext. 5105

Your Crush Keeps Referring to a Friend or Roommate

If you are hearing about your date’s “friend” or “roommate” on a regular basis, but you are never told that person’s name or invited to meet him or her, then there is a good chance that the person you are falling in love with has a live-in lover. This person is not emotionally available for you, so move on as soon as possible.

Sarcastic Humor

If your new love interest’s sense of humor is sarcastic, proceed with caution. Sarcasm is actually anger being released in little spurts. Sarcastic people might view themselves as being clever, but they are probably carrying a lot of emotional baggage that will be dumped on you eventually if you become intimately involved. A sarcastic partner is likely to criticize you and will be hard to please no matter what you do or say. For a better relationship, spend time instead with someone cracking corny jokes.

Getting Help

Sometimes when we are attracted to a dynamic person, we lose our usual good judgment. And our friends are not always the best advisors, because they might only say what they think we want to hear—which is not always the truth. If you are not sure if an issue is warning you of possible danger, call one of our experienced psychics to help you see things clearly.

“Honesty is an important component in any relationship.” – Giovanna ext. 5214

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9 Responses to “Recognizing Red Flags in New Relationships”

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  1. Angela July 3, 2012 at 8:19 am

    I do agree with what you are saying but truly believe you have to know a person according to their deeds and to know where they actually are coming from in life in general. Not always jumping to conclusions trying to find fault or blame. Knowing what you will tolerate and what you will not tollerate makes a big difference in any relationship whether you have been with that person for some months or for some years. Being confrontable with yourself and becomng confrontable with that person that you are building a relationship with. It takes time to do and worth doing.


  2. Cindy May 28, 2012 at 5:14 am

    This is a good list, however, I do not allow a man to pick me up unless I know him well because I have children. I protect them and allowing a man to pick me up enables him to have access to where I live before I know his mental status.

  3. ivyx5198
    ivyx5198 January 13, 2012 at 7:13 pm

    Thank you for your time:) I tell my children and clients, ALWAYS listen to your red flags. It’s kinda like the forest. When a deer hears a twig snap, the deer just hauls tush. The deer doesn’t stop. The deer just hauls tush. If you really have the need to access, do it from a safe distance. Namaste and Hugs!


  4. lindsey January 13, 2012 at 3:48 pm

    this is very helpful to me even though im still young


  5. Anne January 13, 2012 at 12:56 pm

    Nicole.. sarcasm is absolutely , anger..In your case it may just be a bad habit.. or maybe you are still very young ?


  6. nutella January 13, 2012 at 10:53 am

    I agree with Nicole to this extent: There is sarcastic wit, which is a fun way to banter with other people of the same propensity, and is the variety of sarcasm I think she refers to. (And of which I am guilty… sadly, many people don’t “get it”, and my attempts backfire)

    Then there is condescending sarcasm, which does usually superficially mask a hostile or angry person. Take heed if the condescension is habitual… and take flight! You may be dealing with a narcissist. If it only happens every once in a while, well, we all get a little punchy sometimes.


  7. Karel January 13, 2012 at 10:02 am

    “Real trust takes real time” .. wise words & good advise. Taking it slow and really listening to what someone is presenting will give great clues as to who they are, and their true motives. Being playful, carefree and lighthearted, especially initially, often shows a persons underlying state of mind and affairs. While the outright need to share deeply personal disappointments and dispairs not only isn’t particularly fun, but is inappropriate and can be one of those clues or red flags. And finally, moodiness and sarcasm, particularly directed at you, is a big red flag of anger issues hidden as just a joke. Also known as passive aggression, outright aggression or just rude and immature. And the kind of criticism you’re likely to endure in the future. These are signs of deep seeded issues that only professional help can cure.Empathy is a wonderful characteristic, however if not reciprocal, yet another clue as to what you may look forward to. Intention is very important. And much of this article encourages us to look for those clues. Are their intentions honorable, or do they represent something else. Manipulation, disrespect, and abuse, just to name a few. No amount of love and understanding will change a person with a gaping hole to fill. Listening to your intuition, especially when there is strong chemistry, will not lead you astray. Take it slow, and show them that you’re not just a dumping ground. But that you have great self respect, and will not tolerate poor impulse control. And that you will not (and its not your job to) make excuses for their bad and poor behavior.


  8. Nicole January 13, 2012 at 7:36 am

    I have to say all of these are great warning signs except the sarcasm one. I don’t believe sarcasm means you are an angry person. I am a very happy person that is happy with my life and everything in it, but I am also very sarcastic. My boyfriend is frequently sarcastic as are many of my friends. We are all just joking around though. Maybe there is a certain type of sarcasm to which you are referring in this article? I can agree that sarcasm can be used in a bad way, but it’s not all bad :-) .

  9. Gina Rose ext.9500
    Gina Rose ext.9500 January 13, 2012 at 7:16 am

    This is a great article……

    All of these helpful tips are things to consider from the very start.

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