Red Responds - Part 10

Is There Still Work for Me?

July 12, 2010 at 5:00 pm
By Psychic Red ext. 9226

Cheryl in Daytona Beach, writes:

I read your column every day and enjoy your answers. Do you see a lucrative job for me in the near future? I now work part time (no benefits) at minimum wage dealing with abused children. I applied for a good job last week in another town and want that job, but I fear my age (65) will hold me back. I still have good clerical skills, look and act younger than my age. What do you see?

Dear Cheryl,

I’m very sorry, but I do not see you being offered the position you recently applied for. While that truly is disappointing, there will be other opportunities.

It really stinks that your age on paper is working against you, because you really are a young and vibrant 65. While that number will continue to get more than a few of your applications tossed, keep the faith. In person, when you are interviewed, the tables will turn and your age will become a benefit rather than a detriment. So, keep trying and applying.

I really wish I saw you continuing to work with children, or even with abused women, because it is something you are very good at. However, there don’t seem to be many opportunities in this field that can meet your needs until late summer of next year. By the time they start popping up, you won’t necessarily need the job, but you may want the change.

In September of this year I see you going on a series of interviews, partly due to a recruiter who takes a special interest in you. She will send you on an interview for a temporary clerical position that has the potential to become permanent. While that may not thrill you (I see you hesitating), it would be wise for you to go.

However, you still will be helping people, only in a different way. The position has the feel of social services, welfare, or a Social Security satellite office. Anyway, it is something along those lines, with a governmental paycheck attached. Even though the work itself isn’t presenting as the most stimulating or rewarding, it is a full-time position paying in the high 20′s to very low 30′s, and once it goes permanent the benefits really can’t be beat. While you will have other interviews and other opportunities, this is the one being presented as the job you will choose to accept.

Good luck!

Brightest Blessings,

Red

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Does He Really Love Me?

July 8, 2010 at 5:00 pm
By Psychic Red ext. 9226

Le Wang in Downey, writes:

Dear Red, I don’t know what to do with my three-year relationship. Or is there even one? He said he does care and loves me … he does not want anything deeper. I felt neglected and used, yet I don’t wanted to leave because I have this feeling he truly loves me. I also talked to many psychics, they all said the same things. I doubt his love for me because he’s been pulling back, and I have nightmares that he’s telling me he cheated, that he has two other women. I’m afraid my nightmares will come true, like some other dreams of mine do. I just want to know, is there hope for me? How long do I need to wait?

Dear Le,

Your boyfriend really doesn’t want to fully commit to you at this time. He really is content with having you and his freedom, too.

Your relationship doesn’t look like it’s ever been truly easy. Honestly, it presents as if it’s always been rather out of balance. I know that you do your best to keep things flowing smoothly, and your man seems to take advantage of that. He hasn’t been, nor will he ever be, the most reassuring partner. However, that doesn’t mean things will always be this tough. He does have love for you, and you obviously love him, but you will need to decide if the glimmers of happiness you experience with him are ultimately going to be enough.

Your boyfriend doesn’t always see the two of you as defined or exclusive, so he doesn’t necessarily classify his actions as cheating. While I can’t say that he has never been with anyone else since the two of you have been together, he currently isn’t sexually involved with anyone else. He is capable of monogamy, so you have little to fear when he is ready to fully commit to you. However, he is also a spirited man, so you have to be careful how you discuss your fears and insecurities with him. If he feels like he is being accused of wrongdoing, he will retaliate by doing wrong.

The bottom line, Le, is that if you love him enough to invest another couple of years into this relationship, the two of you will fully commit to each other. However, he is very likely to continue falling short of being the loving and supportive partner you hope that he will be.

Brightest Blessings,

Red

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Is There Someone Special for Me?

July 5, 2010 at 5:00 pm
By Psychic Red ext. 9226

Juliet in London, writes:

I have been single for three years after a 10-year relationship, and although I am very happy being single, I would like to have someone special in my life. Do you see it happening?

Dear Juliet,

Even though it will be a while before you find happiness in a deeply bonded relationship, good things do come to those who wait! You have yet to experience your greatest love, but in roughly five years, that will change.

I’m sorry if that seems like a huge span of time, but sometimes the proper relationship cannot be rushed. Fortunately, I don’t see the next five years as you continuing on alone. You will have a special friend or two during that span, but more in the sense of companionship and gentle love. The second such relationship will be slightly more passionate than the first, but still not quite at the level where you find yourself thinking in terms of forever and eternity.

Your strength, independence, and resolve not to “settle” will serve you well, and the next five years will quickly pass by. When you meet “the one,” you will recognize that it is also a karmic connection, and will thank the fates for rewarding your patience with lifelong serendipity.

Brightest Blessings!

Red

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Too Independent for Love

July 1, 2010 at 5:00 pm
By Psychic Red ext. 9226

Sarah in Marion, writes:

Dear Red,

I have been in a relationship for three years that has been a long distance relationship. Now he has been here for awhile and I am starting to think I am supposed to be in long distance relationships only. I feel this way because I am not used to having him around and I miss being able to do what I want when I want to. I know this sounds horrible but I really believe I am too independent to be in a relationship because I did the same thing with my ex-husband. Am I doomed to be alone or do you think there is a chance I can make this relationship work, or is he just the wrong man?

Thank you,
Sarah

Dear Sarah,

Being as independent as you are doesn’t mean that you are limited to long-distance relationships. While a distance relationship may offer certain comforts and benefits, they also have a few drawbacks. Even though it can be challenging, you are capable of having a close-quarters relationship successfully.

Your current boyfriend is a good guy, but quite honestly, he’s not the one you will spend your life with. Even though there is love, the adjustment to the logistical changes has been causing some frustration and tension for each of you. It seems as if each of you has different expectations. He doesn’t necessarily understand what you are experiencing, but you also aren’t effectively telling him. If the two of you can increase your communication skills, it would help a great deal. He would have better understanding that you need your time and space and a higher level of freedom than what he requires. While it won’t be easy on or for him, if you can sooth his insecurities, he will do his best to understand and accept you as you are.

I have to point out the pattern you have created for yourself so that you can take steps to break it. Because you do desire a stable and traditional style relationship, you go into these unions suppressing some of your feelings and needs. You aren’t as up-front as you should be about your need for freedom. You play the part of devoted and attentive woman, doing what you believe will make the man happy and keep things smooth. But the tensions and resentments slowly build, and your need for more freedom and less explanation grows, resulting in things becoming more complicated. The ironic thing is, the men you find yourself with are initially attracted to your strength and independence, and then it becomes problematic, a character trait that borderline offends them or creates a level of emotional insecurity.

Enjoy the relationship you have, and try and work through some of the struggles and tensions that are becoming more challenging and apparent. There is a good possibility that things will improve, even though this relationship isn’t likely to last forever.

As time passes and things change, you will find yourself back in the dating game. Be bold: in the beginning stages of a relationship, be clear about your boundaries and expectations. Don’t be afraid to express that you have a need for freedom, but that need in no way compromises your dedication and loyalty. Align yourself with men who also want the love, companionship, partnership, and safety that a traditional relationship has to offer, but who are also independent and have a healthy aversion to needing someone’s “permission” to do what he needs to do. When both parties enjoy and understand “my time,” “your time,” and “our time,” a very stable foundation and set of patterns will easily develop.

There is one such man out there that you will meet and love. The added bonus is that he travels for work several times a year, which will give you “alone time” to reflect and enjoy, without having to create any special arrangements or circumstances. It looks as if you will meet him online, and this relationship will flourish and grow. While he is still five or six years away from you, the two of you appear destined to meet. In him, not only will you find what you need, but you will also be at a point in your own development where you have no problem effectively and honestly communicating what you require and have been looking for. Trust me, he will be happily relieved, because he will have come to the conclusion that a secure and loving woman, who is also strong and independent, really must not exist.

Brightest Blessings!

Red

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Emotional Distance

June 22, 2010 at 5:00 pm
By Psychic Red ext. 9226

K Becks in London, UK asks:

Hi Red, I have been reading topics and discussions on California Psychics for a few years and this will be my first question! Over a year ago, I have met this man. I would have dreams about him while we were together and it was insane to think that this person has some kind of connection with me. (I even saw him in a vision before we met!) I have made a few contacts, left the country and came back, and have received one response from him a little over a month ago, which was incredibly ambiguous — his timing wasn’t the best, but nobody’s perfect. I have seen some men since then, but nothing ever feels the same and I am torn, more so heartbroken over this person.

I have asked psychics and they have all said it’s an unresolved issue and that he will return. I have felt it so strongly in my soul that he will, but the question is when will he be strong enough to face me rather than constantly running away from whatever it is? I feel certain that I have done nothing to hurt him to deserve this kind of treatment and it is frustrating. I wish for this situation to be resolved and that we could speak again as my time here in London is now becoming limited. Thank you for reading this.

Dear K,

I happen to agree with those who have told you that there are unresolved issues between you and this man. However, things are going to remain unresolved for quite some time. Currently, he is neither ready nor willing to embrace you back into his life more fully. Even though his emotional distance may be confusing and frustrating to you, for now, it is ultimately a good thing. If he were to be more open with you now, things would become even more confusing and painful, because issues would remain unresolved and he would disappear once again.

Life has a strange way of working things out, when the time is right. Unfortunately, there is nothing that you can do to bring about results more quickly. It will be a couple of years yet, but this man will reach out to you and the two of you will see one another again.

When his life is more balanced, and he is ready is to revisit the past with you, the connection that binds the two of you together will be strengthened by the flames of romance once again. While there is bright potential for a long-term love relationship, at the very least, the two of you will remain close; life-long friends.

I hope this helps!

Brightest Blessings,
Red

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Living Under a Cloud

June 17, 2010 at 5:00 pm
By Psychic Red ext. 9226

Stephanie in Detroit, writes,

Dear Red, I am so confused as to what is going on with things in my life! I have been unemployed for over two years, I have been putting in applications everywhere, I have tried places that I would never think I would [do]. But I am becoming so depressed and sad because I don’t know what is this black cloud over my head and when is it going to end. Red, do you see me getting a job any time soon? Or having a better life?

Dear Stephanie,

Things certainly have been challenging for you, but you, like so many others, are collateral damage to the economy. You are in an area that has an extremely high unemployment rate, and this makes for a lot of competition on the job front, regardless of what jobs you are considering. Even though it’s hard, try not to take it personally, because it isn’t personal.

What you need is a little help. Schedule an appointment with your local unemployment agency to discuss what programs you qualify for as far as career education and placement. I see you in a government assisted program dealing with healthcare. It is through this program that you will receive additional education and training, as well as career assistance placement.

While you are in training, I do see you working part-time in retail. While it isn’t a whole lot of money, every little bit helps. Try not to look at it as a step back, but as a step forward. Going from unemployed to employed and in school is a huge leap in the right direction.

While it’s going to be a while before you have everything settled in your world, you will be working full-time in healthcare before the end of the year. The cloud you’ve been living under will dissipate, and the sun will shine for you once again.

Good luck!
Red

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A Loveless Marriage

June 15, 2010 at 5:00 pm
By Psychic Red ext. 9226

Tracy in Charlotte, writes;

Dear Red,

I am in a very bad situation, I don’t know if I still love my husband, since we came across so many disappointments during our 25 [years of] marriage. I really don’t know if I still love him, can you tell me if my husband and I can reconcile. I doubt it very much if I’m willing to spend the rest of my life with him. Your advice is highly appreciated. Thank you.

Dear Tracy,

Your marriage certainly hasn’t been the easiest path, and the two of you seem to have grown very far apart. As bad as things are, unless you actively choose to change or end your marriage, things will continue on as they have been.

While it does not look like you and your husband will reconnect passionately, the two of you can come to a place of companionship or friendship. It’s up to you to decide if this is good enough for you. If it is, work toward improving things, and find some joy in knowing that you will have a level of peace and security for the second half of your life.

If you should choose to leave your marriage, do so knowing that you are going to struggle for a while, emotionally and financially. While these are challenges you can certainly manage, and ultimately overcome, it doesn’t seem as if you are quite ready to take that leap.

I wish I could tell you what to do, but all I can tell you is what I see you doing. Even though you are quite unhappy, I see you continuing to remain married to your husband, trying to make the best of it.

I wish I had better news for you.

Brightest Blessings,

Red

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