When it Comes to Sex, What is Right?

Lucinda from New York asks:

My problem is that I must turn away a suitor who is the husband of a close friend. The difficulty arises in that I am quite vulnerable to the attentions of this man, and although I believe he is sincere about his feelings for me, and that he is unhappy in his circumstances, I must convincingly dissuade him from pursing me. I do not see the couple socially anymore, but we were once passionately involved. I have been told by a confidential source that he is still interested in me and has plans to come to me soon. I do not consciously (or even unconsciously!) want to sabotage my close friend’s marriage; but what should I say? How should I act? I know this will be hard, but I am committed to doing the right thing here. Please be specific! Thank you.

Liam’s Response:

Greetings, Lucinda. I will attempt to be very precise and specific in my answer as you request. It is a sumptuous scenario you present and yet, I can’t help but wonder as to the motivation that prods you to make such an inquiry of me. Certainly you write as though you have been diligent and thorough in your own observation. You appear to stand stalwart in your decision as to what the proper, ethical response to the matter is that you must have. And yet, in careful reading of your query, I find myself thinking that you aren’t nearly so certain of things as you would like me, or yourself, to believe. With that in mind, let me attempt an illumination of sorts. Read the rest of this entry »