You Want to… But Should You?

Psychic Danni ext. 5193 reveals the potentially emotionally messy entanglements that could come from having sex with an ex…

What can Danni ext. 5193 see for you?

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Keep Yourself Happy

Emotions can be volatile things when not nurtured and processed properly. If you’re about to fling lewd gestures from your car to another driver who cut you off in rush hour, verbally snap at the painfully slow bank teller who’s just learning his job, or about to alienate a friend or family member with a snarky, petty comment because of your hostile mood, read on!

1. Finger on Your Pulse

Stay tuned in to you and all that’s going on internally as you change environments and interactions throughout the day. It’s easy to get so wound up in your emotions that you are oblivious to the turbulence you are creating in and around you until it’s too late. Learn your unique internal signs which signal an approaching emotional blowout. Physical clues often manifest as sudden tensions in your body or parts of your body, pressure in your chest or head, or an accelerated heart rate. When you feel any of these volcanic emotions, slow down and breathe!

2. Face Your Furies

Ignoring and repressing your emotions is like ignoring that little crack in the dam and hoping for the best. No bueno. Instead of fighting yourself, physically separate yourself from the immediate environment, and embrace those emotions for a moment. When you allow yourself the right to feel emotions, you begin to see and understand the natural transience of them, making it easier to release them. If you can’t step away from a situation when these moments come along, you still can diffuse them with breathing, consciously relaxing your muscles, and realigning your perspective with the truth of the moment (instead of transferring negativity from an unrelated situation).

“It’s not about making someone else happy or them making you happy. You have to be satisfied and happy with yourself and your own life – you have to feel whole. When you feel whole you will automatically put out the type of energy which will also attract a person that they themselves are whole. Thus, two wholes can come together and form a greater whole – this is far more powerful than two parts trying to make but a single whole.” - Hayden ext. 5424

3. Regaining Power

Allow yourself room to breathe with your life’s schedule and demands. Giving yourself rest and tranquility everyday to recharge is essential to fighting negative emotional buildup. Meditation, quiet alone time, communing with nature are all ways to give yourself that necessary emotional recharge. When you keep your emotional highway clear, you regain your personal power, instead of falling victim to pent-up emotional baggage, which you then dump on the closest unsuspecting victim.

4. The Impermanence of Emotion

It’s important to realize the transitory nature of emotions so as to not become attached to them. To feel is to be human, and your emotions are there to heighten that life experience. While positive emotions are consciously embraced, too often the negative ones are ignored and repressed, easily leaving you as volatile as a ticking time bomb. Negative emotions are healthy when they are channeled through appropriate expression, acceptance, and release. So give yourself, and everyone around you a break by embracing each moment along with the emotion it brings, then releasing it fully so that you can invite the next moment in.

“When having a bad day, shift your focus to helping someone else, which will allow you to feel joy.” – Psychic Rivers ext. 5273

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Saying Just the Right Things

How many complaints does it take to lose a guy? Only one if you’re doing it wrong.

Getting what you want from a guy is more about knowing how to complain effectively, than using any trickery, animal training strategies, or extreme bargaining tactics (bribes, sex, and so on). There are seven tips to being an effective complainer, and they are as simple as ordering a sandwich.

1. “Hold the mayo.”

When you are having a sandwich made at the deli, it is usually easier if you make one request at a time. If you yell out “I’d like wheat, pastrami, hold the pickle, extra relish, quarter the peppers, squeeze the onions, and hold the mayo,” you’re probably only going to manage to irritate the person behind the counter. The same thing goes with relationship requests. Guys don’t do well with lists; it overwhelms them. Have you ever seen a guy at the grocery store, wandering aimlessly through the aisles, forgetting half the stuff his wife mentioned? When it really matters that you have his full attention, only make one request at a time.

2. “Umm… I haven’t decided yet.”

Don’t you hate it when there is a huge line at the deli? The woman in front makes it to the counter, is asked what she wants, and she just stares blankly at the menu board? Sometimes a woman may know that she dislikes something, but doesn’t have a clear goal as to what she really wants her guy to do about it. She can tell him her feelings. However, when he asks how he can help, she just stands there with her hands on her hips, waiting for him to hold up a menu board above his head. Guys don’t always know what you need, and if you don’t either; then you’re not ready to visit the complaint department.

3. “Where’s the beef!”

Rather than letting your emotions get drawn into your request or complaint, take some time to get your anger under control, so that you can explain your position more democratically. Put yourself in your partner’s place, and consider what would make him want to help you more.

4. S-p-e-a-k… s-l-o-w-l-y

During a request, it is important to speak slow and clear, to ensure that none of your points are being misunderstood. This technique also has a calming effect over men, and will help keep him from feeling attacked.

“Communication is the key to confidence. Know yourself, find your voice, speak up and be decisive.” – Psychic Deejay ext. 5435

5. “That sure is a great hat, Mr. Deli—I’d like a meatball sandwich… but please hold the meatballs; and have a wonderful day.”

A lot has been written about the “complaint sandwich,” introduced by Guy Winch, a psychologist and author of The Squeaky Wheel: Complaining the Right Way. The idea is to place the meat of your complaint between two positive slices of bread, to increase the likelihood of getting what you want. For example, begin with the first slice of pumpernickel. “Love, you are always so helpful with the kids.” Now you get out the sliced turkey. “I’m hoping that you can help take them to their after-school functions more often.” Now, grab the last slice of bread, and slather on the mustard. “I know you’re busy at work, but I think we can help each other have more time, and I would really appreciate your help.”

6. “My apologies, I didn’t mean to yell; I thought I saw a hamburger on the menu.”

Men don’t like taking the full blame for anything. Have you ever watched a guy drop his camera, and when he goes to take a picture, a spring pops out of the lens, and he looks over at his wife and says, “Honey, didn’t you replace the batteries?” To take some of this weight off his shoulders, admit your part in the problem (if there is one), and then offer a solution that will involve working as a team.

7. “I’ll have my usual.”

Getting what you want can be a lot like crying wolf. If you get your way too often, pretty soon your guy won’t want to play the game anymore. A chronic complainer is only a glorified definition of a nag.

“Relationships are hard. To say they aren’t is a lie, but the best things in life are the ones we have to work at constantly, and still enjoy.” – Psychic Lacy ext. 5494

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Which Sign is Your Most Compatible?

While lots of placements play a part in determining your perfect match astrologically speaking (you need a detailed chart of you and your perspective partner for a specific read), there are some basics that are tested, tried and true.

To get a sign-by-sign compatibility analysis, click here. Meanwhile, read on for your best match(es) by Sun Sign.

Aries

The aggressive Ram needs another Fire sign to feel equaled in a relationship and keep the flames fanned. Sagittarius offers zest and Leo, kindness. Which matters more is up to you.

Taurus

Gentle and committed, the Bull is best off with fellow-Earth sign Capricorn (Virgo may be too analytical for sensitive Taurus.) or Water signs Cancer, Scorpio and Pisces. Of the three, only Cancer is as sensitive. Pisces may be too needy. Scorpio is a sexual fit for sure.

Gemini

Libra and Leo make magical matches for the Twins. The first finds balance in your two sides, and the second can keep up with your tendency to be a chatterbox. Exciting Sagittarius and always individual Aquarius may entertain as well.

Cancer

Crabs work well with fellow Water signs Scorpio and Pisces, with the stinger being a particularly intense pairing. You may also find yourself meshing with emotional (but guarded) Taurus or an exceptionally creative Capricorn.

“It isn’t perfect, nor will it ever be, but it will be perfect for you.” – Psychic Lacy ext. 5494

Leo

Aries will light your fire, Lion, as will Sagittarius if they can commit to sticking around. Meanwhile, you may find your sails filled by Air signs—particularly quick-witted and exciting Gemini.

Virgo

Capricorn could be for you, Virgin. You’ll respect each other’s diligence and plumb the depths from a quiet, personal place. You’re also drawn to your opposite in Pisces, and you may find you each make up for what the other lacks.

Libra

It’s hard to hold your fickle eye, Libra, but eccentric Aquarius fascinates you enough to maintain focus. The same is true of Gemini as well as each of the Fire signs (Aries, Leo and Sagittarius), though Leo may be a bit high maintenance unless you’re utterly captivated.

Scorpio

It will take a fellow Water sign to meet you emotionally, with Cancer inspiring your commitment and Pisces sparking your imagination. That said, sexuality is primal with an Earth sign—particularly Capricorn or Taurus—and may feed you just as fully.

Sagittarius

You find the adventure you crave with Aries, but are equally inspired by an Aquarian’s individualistic flair for excitement. It’s all about who motivates you to stick around and be your partner in crime!

“The best man, of course, is a guy who is responsible enough to be grounded, bold enough to take risks, and try something new.” – Psychic Cameron ext. 5412

Capricorn

Virgo really floats your boat, as does Taurus, if they’re not especially sensitive. Likewise, you may find yourself drawn to the Water signs, but of the three (Pisces, Cancer and Scorpio), only Scorpio has thick enough skin.

Aquarius

Gemini, Libra and Sagittarius all have the goods to make a happy pairing. It simply depends on what you’re seeking: intellectual stimulation (Gemini), travel and flights of fancy (Libra) or an ongoing adventure that takes you out of your already broad comfort zone (Sagittarius).

Pisces

Inspiration is key to your happiness, as is staying grounded. Look to Virgo and Capricorn for the latter and Cancer or Scorpio for the former. Artistic Taurus provides the best of both worlds.

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Love Planet Goes Haywire

Starting today, the planet Venus goes retrograde for six weeks, likely causing havoc and mayhem in romantic relationships. It’s like Mercury retrograde for love! That means it’s time to get yourself sorted, pay extra close attention to how you’re managing your relationships, and possibly consult a psychic to make sure you properly weather the rocky road ahead.

“Change is always to be welcomed rather than feared because it leads to the best relationship choices and the greatest freedom.” - Faith ext. 9608

‘Write down the general characteristics of your ideal mate -  then become that person.  If you want someone who is kind, honest, attentive, a good provider - then develop those things in yourself.  Once you’ve done that you will be much less likely to settle for less of a mate than you deserve or stay in a poor relationship out of fear of being alone.” – Reed ext. 5105 

“Embark on an active journey to see what romantic potentials may await.” – Althea ext. 9582

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Psychic Asia ext. 5486 Shares Her Psychic Success

Asia ext. 5486 is a clairaudient and clairvoyant medium who comes from three generations of Native American psychics. Her upbeat and humorous personality provides a positive and uplifting balance to her straightforward messages. By hearing your voice and using her empathic gifts, Asia ext. 5486 can quickly tune into your energy and those around you. She is able to connect you with your angels, spirit guides and those who have passed. Her areas of expertise are love, relationships and career. Asia can open your eyes and heart to the truth and shine a guiding light down the path you are meant to follow.

We sat down to talk with her, and got some excellent responses!

How did she start out as a psychic?

“Early on as a child. It was passed on generation to generation, through Cherokee heritage. My parents had it, all my family has it, including my son. I started realizing when I was young, but I didn’t pay attention. As I got older, I learned to trust my gut. Continuing on, I really had a deeper calling with it, and I felt it was time to start using it, so I started reading, working parties, trade shows. I’ve been doing it a long time, but it’s hard to come out because people are judgmental and will think you’re a fruit loop. I struggle as far as coming to grips with it, but it’s a beautiful gift that’s been given, and I want to use it as much as I can to help others.”

She also shared some of her notable successes.

“I spoke to a person who was looking to change jobs and looking for affirmations as to which way she should go. I helped her by honing in on exactly what it was that would suit her best. For some reason during that call, I started smelling rubbing alcohol—I told her about it, and it turned out there was a job she wanted that dealt with needles, medical syringes. She got it, and called back and thanked me.

“There was a caller that consistently called, who was in a very bad, toxic relationship. I helped her define the issues and problems, like co-dependency. I gave her the strength to move on away from the relationship. She trusted me and backed away from the 11-year relationship. I saw somebody else coming down the path for her, and she finally let go. It took a lot of calls, but she met somebody else, and has a healthy outlook on relationships now. She started going down the bitter path of negativity about the relationship, but I helped switch her into letting the past go, moving forward and not looking back.

“My general advice on relationships is that most of us have a good gut instinct—when we’re in a bad relationship we choose not to see the signs, because we’re looking from the inside out, not the outside in. If you get an instinctual feeling that things aren’t right, you need to listen to your gut. If it’s the right relationship, everything moves along smoothly. Nothing’s gonna be perfect, but things move smoothly, feels natural, don’t have to try hard, not upset and in tears, it’s just a good feeling and the right fit.”

“With infidelity—I helped a client realize that the person in her life would never change. Not everybody continues to cheat, but some choose to because it’s a high for them; it’s excitement. I told her gently that it wasn’t gonna end; he was going to continue to cheat. It broke her heart but helped her get a better grip of reality and see what it was. She left the relationship, and found out he was with two other women!

“People often ask if they’re in right job. Another lady that called me was an actress, and she couldn’t stand being where she was. She felt stifled, afraid to move, and her heart was calling her to Arizona due to Native American tribal reasons. She wanted to go but was torn, afraid. I gave her the insight, after looking into the future, that she could line up a job while she was there, and that it would be easy to do so. Easier for her than she thought. She could be close to California and interview on acting jobs on the weekend. She ended up looking in Arizona and found a job, and got a job, and now she’s moving cross-country to Arizona. That insight gave her the courage to move ahead and move that fate ahead of time.”

What should people do if they’re stuck in indecision?

“I’ll give them all their options and lay it out. I won’t tell them what to do, but I will help, I’ll see what’s there and how they need to weigh it out. The decision is up to them, all I can do is guide them. Some people can’t see or sense further than what their options may be. I can give them that and give them peace of mind while helping them make their own decisions.”

If she could help people in the world to recognize one thing, what would it be?

“Slow down in life. Appreciate each day for what it is. Appreciate what you have, relish each moment. Life is too short to be stuck in the past or stuck on something that’s insignificant in the big picture.”

What can Asia ext. 5486 see for you?

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See Where Your Money Takes Flight

Want to know what the summer has in store for you and your money? Let’s take a look at the astrology happening between the solstice on June 20 and the autumn equinox on September 22, 2012 when the Sun enters Libra.

The upcoming Uranus-Pluto square is a rare configuration. We will experience this seven times between now and 2015, but the first two happen this summer. Also, Mercury will retrograde on July 17, lasting through August 8. It’s a good time to review recent events rather than pushing forward. Once it goes direct, you can once again take action. Money-loving Venus enters home-centered Cancer on August 7, and expenses could be centered on home and family.

Read your Sun sign money horoscope below (and your rising sign, too).

Aries

You benefit most from Jupiter in Gemini, your house of communication, bringing luck to your daily life. When Venus enters home-loving Cancer on August 7, you’ll want to spend time on home improvements. Just make sure you have the cash to do it, otherwise, do something less costly.

Taurus

You have the luck of Jupiter and the blessings of Venus, your financial house, both in Gemini. You can’t beat that kind of money luck. You’ll be making money, and you’ll be spending it as well, mostly on luxury items.

“Know your intentions toward money and its ability to become abundant in your life.” – Psychic TeriLynn ext. 9625

Gemini

Expansive Jupiter enters your sign in June where it will be for a whole year. You’ll see life in a larger sense, and your exuberance may leave you short on cash at times, but only if you’re frivolous. July and August look good for finances; just don’t sign any contracts during Mercury retrograde.

Cancer

On June 25, Mercury enters your financial house. All that hard work has paid off, and it’s a good time to get your finances in shape. Venus the planet of love and luxury enters your sign on August 7. After August 23, all your creative plans will have financial backing.

Leo

Jupiter in Gemini, from this June to next, brings gifts into your life, some financial. In July, Mars brings news about a job opportunity, and you’ll be relieved. A New Moon in your 12th house on July 19 could bring many opportunities.

Virgo

The biggest money-related news for you this summer is between July 3 and August 23, when Mars enters Libra, your second house. A job, raise or promotion with a bonus could all be yours. Again, avoid Mercury retrograde for signing papers. In August, Saturn goes direct, putting you back in black and bill-free.

“Being honest with ourselves about our own relationship with money allows us to stand back and gain more clarity when it comes to money issues with our partner.” – Psychic Giovanna ext. 5214

Libra

Mars in your sign from July 3 to the end of August motivates you and your innovations can turn into cash. You’re a magnet for success with the energy to match your desires. A raise or partnership of some sort can manifest. When Mars moves into Scorpio on August 23, you’ll be able to show off your talents at work, which can only improve your finances.

Scorpio

Venus direct in Gemini on June 27 will give you the urge to splurge. You do like your toys. With Mars in the partnership sign Libra, a partnership, either family or business, will see you using money to back big plans. Jupiter in Gemini affects money your share with others, and that looks favorable as well.

Sagittarius

The Full Moon on July 3 in Capricorn, in your financial house, brings good news with it, thanks to its angle with Jupiter. Jupiter suggests that money is power for you in this configuration. The way you earn money increases via a raise, promotion, or new alliance.

Capricorn

Jupiter is in Gemini from June this year until June next year, keeping you busy. Promotions, travel, or spending on education could all play a part. You should sit back during Mercury’s retrograde. After August 23, Mars in your 11th house will have you concentrating on increasing your cash flow.

Aquarius

At the end of June, Venus and Jupiter are moving forward in your creative fifth house bringing you luck and expansion in love and money. After August 8, when Mercury goes direct, you can look forward to having some clout when it comes to financial negotiations. Use that clout and that charm of yours to your financial advantage.

Pisces

From the beginning of July to August 23 Mars joins Saturn in Libra, your eighth house affecting your shared resources in a positive way. A New Moon on August 17 falls in your sixth house bringing solid opportunities that will further improve your finances.

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As an empath, Psychic Marin ext. 5113 can easily get to the heart of your problems by being able to tune into your anxiety, fears and heartache.

Exclusive offer: New customers can speak to a psychic for ONLY $1 per minute. Select your psychic advisor here.

Your Love Horoscope

Venus turning retrograde on Tuesday (through June 27) can inspire a review of your love life, causing an issue (or person!) from the past relationship to reappear if something is left unresolved. Fortunately, this week’s empowering Grand Trine involving Mercury, Mars and Pluto can help you uncover/heal relationship issues. This weekend, the New Moon Eclipse in Gemini encourages verbalizing your ideas and feelings. Best days for socializing: Monday, Tuesday, Friday, Saturday and Sunday.

Aries Love Horoscope

Retrograde Venus illuminates how your communication skills affect your relationships. A former lover or friend may contact you, or you may find yourself in a deep discussion about past paramours. An emotional issue can be supercharged midweek. This weekend’s New Moon may bring romance through a class, trip or online source within the next two weeks.

Taurus Love Horoscope

Socializing can bring a romantic interlude on Monday, which may escalate into a passionate romp on Friday or Saturday, when your sensuality is irresistible! How your values and priorities affect your relationships will be the focus of Retrograde Venus. Sunday’s New Moon prompts you to verbalize your needs and desires, especially during the next two weeks.

Gemini Love Horoscope

Retrograde Venus in your sign prompts an evaluation of your need for love and affection, and how you show appreciation to the people you love. A conflict may arise while socializing midweek. A natural environment will deepen passion on Friday or Saturday. Sunday’s New Moon in your sign energizes your powers of attraction!

Cancer Love Horoscope

Monday is an excellent time for a romantic tryst or to meet someone new (and fabulous!). Just try not to overreact if a conflict arises toward the middle of the week. Retrograde Venus, along with this weekend’s New Moon, are all about learning from past relationships and using these insights to improve your current situation.

“Guilt is living in the past, anxiety is living in the future; live in the present.” – Psychic Blythe ext. 5339

Leo Love Horoscope

Retrograde Venus encourages a review of the depth and compatibility of your friendships, and attitude about socializing in general. A clash about the future can upset love midweek. A work project or co-worker may bring romance on Friday or Saturday. This weekend’s New Moon energizes friendly gatherings and group activities during the next two weeks.

Virgo Love Horoscope

Any issues you have about relationships that affect your career and/or reputation will be the focus of Retrograde Venus. A former colleague may contact you. You’ll likely manifest a sexy rendezvous on Friday or Saturday, when an exotic ambiance heats up passion. This weekend’s New Moon can bring romance through a co-worker or community event.

Libra Love Horoscope

Your Venus ruler turning retrograde shines a light on how your spirituality or education influences your choice of a partner. It’s also time to analyze your relationship goals. A conflict may arise midweek with someone close to you. This weekend’s New Moon may bring romance from afar or through a spiritual organization within the next two weeks.

Scorpio Love Horoscope

A soulful talk with your sweetie on Monday can lead to a deeper connection (and a romp between the sheets!). Watch out for willfulness midweek. The stars align on Friday and Saturday to help you meet someone with commitment potential. Dissolving barriers to intimacy can be the gift of Retrograde Venus and Sunday’s New Moon.

“We are spiritual soul energy beings, made up of pure energy, only on the earthly plane to grow and learn Karmic life lessons, inhabiting the earthly plane in physical form.” – Psychic Gina Rose ext. 9500

Sagittarius Love Horoscope

Retrograde Venus offers insights about your commitment history (or lack thereof). It’s time to resolve any issues you may have about staying the course in a relationship. Romance gets rocky midweek, so stay centered. This weekend’s New Moon energizes your partnership sector, which may bring in someone compatible within the next two weeks!

Capricorn Love Horoscope

Revealing your feelings can ignite both love and lust on Monday, so express yourself! A childhood issue may derail romance midweek, but love gets back on track on Friday or Saturday, when you’re a magnet for admirers. Retrograde Venus prompts a review of your relationships at work. Your helpfulness inspires love during this weekend’s New Moon.

Aquarius Love Horoscope

Romance may be under a microscope during Retrograde Venus, when your past paramours will be on your mind (and maybe on your doorstep!). Your words will have consequences midweek. Getting physical in a cozy environment will intensify passion on Friday and Saturday. Sunday’s New Moon also energizes romantic encounters!

Pisces Love Horoscope

Sharing your wisdom or knowledge is sure to bring a romantic interlude on Monday. Retrograde Venus, along with the New Moon on Sunday, encourage you to analyze your family history to see how it influences your love life. Healing family ties is encouraged as well. Your words make you irresistible on Friday and Saturday!

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Is Being Laid Off a Bad Thing?

You’re sitting at your desk minding your own business. Your boss calls you into her office and announces kindly, or unkindly, that your services are no longer needed. Should you panic? Is unemployment a tragedy? Not necessarily.

For sure, you’d better head to the local unemployment office to open a claim, or you can do that, in most states, via the Internet. Once you’ve filed forms, you have given yourself time to breathe, regroup, reorganize, and decide what you want to do next.

Personally, these are the next three things I would do:

• Go home, change into something comfortable, brew a cup of herbal tea, and relax.

• Call a friend or lover and make plans for a wonderful evening.

• Take at least a week off with no intention of job hunting or stressing myself.

To Work or Not to Work

In today’s economy, it isn’t unlikely that it will take time to find employment, if that’s what you choose to do. Spend part of your week off making a plan and organizing your thinking. Do not search the Internet or the classifieds for work. You can start Monday morning and look for a new job, if that’s your choice.

Your unemployment should last between 60 and 99 weeks, depending on what state you live in.

Take your time. Figure out what your dream career is and go after it, or choose to go back to school and prepare yourself for that dream. If you have other kinds of support, appreciable savings, or a way to replace your employment income, you can choose to go a different direction for a while or forever. It’s all up to you.

This is a perfect time to consider an entrepreneurial occupation. Create that business you’ve always dreamed of. Are you a crafty person? Move toward marketing your crafts at craft shows, at online auctions, or even through artistic sites like Etsy.com. Ever thought about providing a paid service in your community? Lots of people get paid for dog walking, child care, gardening, running errands, or even paying bills and filing insurance claims for senior citizens.

Rocking Your Unemployment

Regardless of what direction you decide to go, this is the time to fill your life with joy, remove stress-causing obstacles, and open a door that could lead you to something truly wonderful. Adjust your attitude.

Wake up each morning and spend 10 minutes meditating on your good fortune. Push away the internal critic that might be yelling, “You need to get out there and find a job right now. Today. You’re desperate. This is an emergency!”

You are not desperate. It’s not an emergency. Have a delicious and healthy breakfast. Check your email. Check the weather, and go for a walk.

I’m not saying shirk your responsibilities; just take care of and nurture yourself. Begin a new life pattern so you move yourself toward what you need to make a living and support yourself, but build in ample time for relaxation, spiritual growth, mental growth and joy.

From that position, your meditations bring answers seemingly without much effort. If you need to find a job, you’ll know that. If being an entrepreneur is the answer, you’ll find that out. If it’s time to live on other resources as you attend to your heart’s desires, you’ll figure that out, too.

“Whatever you desire for your career is destined to happen and your intuition will help you.” - Abrielle ext. 9894

Losing a job doesn’t have to be a tragedy. Yes, it causes change, but change can be exciting. Throughout life, we get opportunities to reinvent ourselves. Don’t overlook your chance to stand quietly and watch the clouds roll by, giving way to your golden moment in the sun.

“Know that within your spiritual core you deserve abundance. Stay away from people who say otherwise. Take real action to make your goals happen. If you’re thinking about, but not taking steps in the direction of abundance, you’ll usually end up disappointed.” - William ext. 5131

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Anything Can Happen, and It Will

This is the week of “anything can happen,” because on Sunday the 20th we have a solar eclipse, and a powerful one at that! Many astrologers refer to the eclipse as “when the veil between two worlds is pierced.” While it’s probably not a good plan to ask the boss to trade offices for a day, it will be fun to watch planned events suddenly decide where they are going all by themselves. All we have to do is adapt. At the same time, Venus appears to “stand still in the sky” midweek before she then appears to “go backward in the sky” to cross the face of the sun in June, an extremely rare occurrence and very much a part of the Mayan predictions for 2012.

The major shifts of this week are full of opportunities for those who see clearly and act while integrating others’ needs. Beauty will arise from your own willingness to “own” another part of yourself as you grow each day.

Aries

Behind the scenes, your finances are plodding forward positively no matter where your focus is. At the same time, you have an urge to speak words that will pierce through the nonsense, particularly during the last half of the week. Don’t worry. The nonsense will dissolve by its own nature.

“Use your intuition to solve tough work issues.” – Psychic Abrielle ext. 9894

Taurus

The week starts with sensitive networking with friends. You may find yourself facing a dilemma midweek as co-workers may hope that you might speak on their behalf to management. When in doubt, pause and be clear about what your desire because you will probably get it.

Gemini

While much of your emotional focus will be on the job and with you friends, there will be a number of demands at home that require your attention. This week you are even more filled with charm than usual, which is saying a lot. You can use it at work where you will be dealing with a number of confused people.

Cancer

If you work in a health environment, you will find some real opportunities toward the end of the week. If not, you’ll find some guiding principles for your job through your dreams and through service. That money you were expecting will come, just not as quickly as you expected.

“Know your intentions toward money and its ability to become abundant in your life.” – Psychic TeriLynn ext. 9625

Leo

This is a big week with many surprises regarding your career. During the early part of the week, you will benefit through group gatherings. Later in the week, there will be more focus on work and changes taking place there. Things will be clearer next week when many issues you thought were resolved will be revisited. See them as a new opportunity.

Virgo

Blessings will come your way through your career. You’ve begun to assert yourself more regarding your workload. Do this with integrity and things will be rectified. You’ll be surprised at who may jump in to pick up the slack.

Libra

If you’re asked to travel for the job, this is a good opportunity that will benefit you. While work could seem burdensome, you’ll find real satisfaction in what you accomplish. Partners’ behavior may seem “hyper” and erratic at best. Just let them finish bouncing off the walls, and you could end up with something brilliant. That hunch you had about your job last Sunday is correct.

Scorpio

The people you’ve needed to team with will actually create an environment that makes you look really good, whether they do it intentionally or not. You may receive money from the past, or through someone who has a passion for you or what you do. You deserve it.

Sagittarius

Is your daily routine revolving around leaving the frustrated people at work, then going home to an environment that is truly strange? While it has not been particularly easy for you lately, your job right now is to cut through the nonsense to find a truth you didn’t recognize before. Your new clarity can bring this new truth to others.

Capricorn

While you’ve been your usual, responsible self lately, you are actually enjoying a lot of what might be considered drudgery at other times. You are producing very tangible results where you work. Open yourself to hearing others’ gratitude in ways you didn’t recognize before.

Aquarius

While you aren’t inclined to worry about saying something shocking—in fact, sometimes you enjoy it—you may need to take care that you don’t accidentally delve too deeply into someone else’s wounds. If you take that insight, make it less personal and do something creative with it, you may well create a masterpiece.

Pisces

This week your gentle, loving approach will make you highly charismatic to some and frustrating to others who don’t know what to do with the formlessness of your poetry, musical references or ideals. Don’t lose yourself while also seeing the beauty in others’ intensity.

Exclusive offer: New customers can speak to a psychic for ONLY $1 per minute. Select your psychic advisor here.

I Can’t Stand It! Why Am I Not Enough?

A while back, I wrote a blog post for women about men. One commenter asked, why not articles for men? So this article is for men dating men who always flirt.

Men love feeling attractive to other men. I’ve found this is especially true for men who waited until later in life to come out of the closet. They didn’t get the chance to have normal adolescent dating experiences because they felt forced to date women when their interests were elsewhere.

The men I’ve know who came out did so in their early twenties, but I hear now, teens are coming out earlier and earlier. However, most of my callers are men in my age group or older dating men like them who didn’t reveal their true sexual sides until after their high school years.

People are people. Man, woman, it doesn’t matter too much when it comes to flirts. Some people just love to feel wanted. But for the men who held back through the most hormone-driven years of their lives, they may now feel the urge to show their qualities to lots of others.

It would make anyone in a relationship crazy, especially if you’re not the flirty type. Ironically, that may be why he’s attracted to you. He trusts you not to toy with other men. But then, why does he?

And I bet you’ve tried to get him jealous in return, charming other men with your qualities, striking up deep, involved and personal conversations, peeking over your shoulder to see if he’s watching. He isn’t. Darn. He doesn’t seem to care one bit.

Ask yourself: Who does he go home with each time you’re out and about and he’s doing all those flirtatious things which drew you to him in the first place? He goes home with you. Just you. Not the guy whose biceps he couldn’t quit batting, not the one with the fast, fancy car. You. Soooooo… Why does he insist on doing this?

He wants to feel confident that he’s attractive. No, you haven’t done a thing to make him feel unattractive. He’s just insecure, wanting others to boost his self-esteem for only a night, or even an hour.

In the beginning of this post, I mentioned men who come out late. All through their teen years they never felt attractive because, sure, perhaps girls liked them, and they may have sensed other gay men around them, but they kept their sexuality a secret. Maybe your man never had the “young love” feeling: passing notes with his crush, three-hour-long phone calls and blushing every time he had a conversation with someone he was attracted to. Now, he’s making up for that lost time by flirting, and when another man responds positively to your man’s flirting, your man feels good about himself. So good in fact, that he doesn’t care at all if you’re making eyes at someone else.

He knows you, too, will go home with him.

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They’re Older, But That Doesn’t Mean They’re Wiser

Barbara from York, South Carolina asks:

I am an older reader on this site, and have been involved with a man who is the biggest test of my integrity ever in my life. I would like to know your take on why men in their late 50s and early 60s, most of whom have been married at least once, tend to be game players. You would think by this stage in life that they would know what respect is for someone who has an attraction for them. A lot of these men are on online dating sites, writing very detailed descriptions of what they seek in a partner, and when they find one that fits all the things they say they desire, they push the woman’s self-esteem to the breaking point, make false accustions (which by the way are descriptions of their own problems), and then tell the woman she doesn’t trust a relationship. It’s very hard to build trust when the foundation is so flawed. I would be most interested in your idea of why men this age are wasting the last best years they have on such nonsensical behavior.

Liam’s Response:

Greetings, Barbara. I’m certain your experience is shared by many and, hopefully, I can put the issue into perspective. I warn you, a lot of my explanation will not be terribly palatable. Still I sense that you are tougher than most and I believe you will be able to take my observations on the matter and apply them in a fashion that will be advantageous. Just remember, it doesn’t do any good to become wrathful or despondent over the dictates of nature. What I’m about to discuss has nothing to do with what is fair or right or just. As Sergeant Barnes in the great cinema classic Platoon so wisely observed, “There’s the way it ought to be… and there’s the way it is.”

What you’re experiencing with these gentlemen is simply a matter of value placement in sexual selection. As I’ve said before, in general, men will not choose sexual monogamy unless they are given no other option. And in the case where monogamous patterns are established by theological or cultural protocol, men will usually prefer to mate with women much younger than themselves because the younger the woman the more children she may potentially give birth to. It doesn’t matter that he has no plans to have children. Common sense has precious little to do with the matter. The testicles rule this game and the beast buried in the subconscious steers the ship. I understand that most men in the age group you’re talking about have already married, mated and had offspring… But make no mistake, the only reason they’re dating women in their own age bracket is because they feel they have no other choice. If they were men of significant means or social power or were famous artists of any kind, believe me, they wouldn’t be on dating sites nor would they be considering partners over forty. The men you’re talking to would much rather be talking to 21 year olds and if you were 21, they’d treat you a good deal better… because they’d have to. You see, men don’t generally like women as people, Barbara. There’s a whole host of social, cultural and theological reasons for that particular mess. I won’t go into it all here but suffice it to say that when these men were younger and the women they pursued were of breeding age, they had to play nice in order to get laid and maintain a reasonably peaceful home. Now those days have passed and suddenly they find young girls aren’t an option anymore. Time and their own socio-economic positions force them to accept older partners which they tend to view as lesser or lower quality choices. They resent this reminder of their mortality. They resent having to date within their own age group and thus they feel entitled to treat you like dirt.

Now you, Barbara, and all the other women out there of maturity and sophistication, deserve far better than you’re getting. Why on earth would you subject yourself to anyone who would test your ethics and standards as a human being? Why play some silly game based on rules that cater to the whims of male objectification? What you really need to do is take a good hard look at yourself and find out why it’s so important that you have a man in your life? Is it really worth your self-respect? Once upon a time, women of age were the great crones, the holy women and elders of the tribe. Revered, honored and protected, they were the ones who kept the secrets of magic and gave counsel. Stop dishonoring yourself. You hold a birth right far more potent than anything a man can give you. But if you insist on continuing to look for one… please make it a good one. Stay away from dating sites. Very seldom will you find men of wisdom and maturity who have overcome their biological limitations and learned to enjoy women as actual people as well as pretty faces and inviting bodies, hanging out on one of those. When you do meet a man that interests you, make friends with him first, and consider dating him only after he has proved himself both respectful and worthy. Modern society takes value away from older women and I doubt it’ll be giving much back any time soon. You have to learn to value yourself. With that in mind, and with your own good sense, I see that better times… and better men… are headed your way.

Do you have a question for Liam? Ask Liam your question now.

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Recognize True Love and Protect It!

LD from Atlanta, Georgia asks:

Can a relationship ever really make it? Even though it started incorrectly (example a love affair)?

Psychic Red ext. 9226 Responds:

Dear LD,

Generally speaking, relationships not only have the ability to endure, but they also have the possibility to thrive! So, yes, it is possible to “make it.”

One of the core issues people struggle with these days is “relationship pressure” —if you’re not involved, or haven’t found the right mate by a certain date. This is a pressure we have created for ourselves, and one that often times leads us to make relationship mistakes.

Most of us are in love with the idea of being in love, and rush into or push for that “forever” commitment. Sometimes, both people have enough strength and character to get through the roughest times, and find themselves bound to an appropriate mate. Other times, people recognize that things aren’t quite right and turmoil ensues. Very often, the first person we choose to commit to may not actually be the right person to be committed to.

It really isn’t all that uncommon to be in a relationship when the “right one” comes along. Depending on the individual, some will choose to honor commitment, but others will choose to honor love. Unfortunately, there are also those individuals who are so tormented by confusion and conflict that they honor neither commitment nor love. By the time they figure out that they should have created a little chaos in order to obtain bliss, they may find themselves in a position of continual searching for relationship happiness. Free will may be one of the greatest gifts given to the human race, but it certainly can cause complications.

The relationships that do stand the test of time and endure the ups and downs of life can be seen in part as destiny, but there’s also a lot of hard work involved in order to create that happy outcome, too. Love is not constant. The way we feel love and send love is always shifting and changing. It impacts the individual and their partner. Some couples work with these fluctuations to find and maintain joy, and other couples or individual parties use these fluctuations to change their path. While not every relationship is meant to last forever, some are, and do!

True love may seem fictional because it isn’t the easiest thing to find, but it does exist. Those who are wise enough to recognize what they have, regardless of when or how it came about, will defend and protect their relationship and their loved one until death.

Keep in mind, we humans are the ones who have created the rules and laws of relationships, and often honor those concepts more than our individual Spirit. Some people push aside the laws of Man in favor of the guidance of Spirit. Words and paper cannot guarantee a lasting relationship. However, those who regard love and relationships as more of a spiritual union are the ones who seem to be able to more easily find the right mate, and nurture their relationship from one life into the next.

I hope this answers your questions, and inspires you to keep the faith!

Brightest Blessings,

Red

Do you have a question for Red? Ask Red your question now.

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Check Your Numbers to Understand What’s Ahead

What are your magical days in May by the numbers? For those of you who read our recent numerology articles, you’ve learned how to calculate the most basic forms of numerology modern-style.

For a quick review, finding your birth number is simply taking all the numbers of the date of your birth and adding them together. You then add those numbers together until you reach a number between one and nine. Example: 2-14-1988 is 2+1+4+1+9+8+8 = 24 (2 + 4) = 6, and you have the beauty and form equals service number “6.”

The destiny and heart’s desire number is simply using the full birth name as it appears on your birth certificate, applying a numeric assignment to each letter and adding the same way. Destiny is the full name. The heart’s desire is vowels only.

Letters to number are this simple:
1 A J S
2 B K T
3 C L U
4 D M V
5 E N W
6 F O X
7 G P Y
8 H Q Z
9 I R

So now that you’ve calculated your birth, destiny and heart’s desire numbers, you can enter the magical vibrations of the universe and apply it to your life. Have fun!

For those of you who have a strong “1” vibration, your action days are May 9, 18 and 27. May 9 is about an unwavering focus on your goal. Ones are great at initiating new projects. The 9th is about seeing a project through to the end. The 18th brings your famous flashes of brilliance. On the 27th, enjoy sweet success for a bit before moving on to the next idea.

For you twos, May 1, 10, 19, and 28 are your focus days. With a strong two vibration, you find completion in opposites. May 1st will be sexy and fun, with the 10th being about fantasies and dreams. The 19th is the day before the sun and moon join in the sky. This calls your instinct to bring people and ideas together. Communication is the key for the challenges on the 28th.

Threes are vibrating that melodious “third wave” on May 2, 11, 20 and 29. You lovingly bring things into form on the 2nd. The entire month for you, particularly on your “three days” is about the principles of love, harmony and sweetness that come from communication. You will be a true gift on the day of the eclipse, May 20. This is a great month to take pleasure in your natural joy.

Your “four” energy is at its creative best on May 3, 12, 21 and 30. Your theme for the month is bringing beauty into reality. You are in your element on these days and produce magic.

Entertaining “fives” hit their stride on May 4, 13, 22 and 31. Your efforts towards self-expression—whether it be in styling your hair or singing a song—are well-received on the fourth. You’ll feel particularly benevolent about sharing your talents on the 13th and 31st. You’ll be pleased with the result.

“Sixes” serve humanity through their willingness to be productive and loving. Your days are May 5, 14 and 23. The fifth brings a new way to provide your gift to humanity and the month proceeds with this on-going process. The 23rd offers the breakthrough to complete the foundation for your new self-expression.

The spiritual path puts “sevens” in touch with making the seeming impossible a possibility. Your days are May 6, 15 and 24. The 7th will be a special day of contemplation resolving a dilemma in your life. The 14th offers a piercing, amazing insight on your part that will inspire others. There will be a breakthrough on the 24th.

“The readers at California Psychics are professional readers who have your best interest at heart. They get in tune with your personal energy and situation. By using this process you receive an accurate and, oftentimes, life-changing reading.” – Martisse ext. 5335

“Eights” master true power and leadership. Your dates are May 7, 16 and 25. The 7th opens your passion to inspire others, bringing great things to life mutually on the 16th. The 25th feels a bit like a sideways march to your goal, but it’s a part of your journey producing great results.

Those of you with “nine” vibrations are all about teaching and training others in the things you have mastered. Your dates are May 8, 17 and 26. That little “sting” that came from the words of someone on the 8th will motivate you to something greater. The 17th and 26th will bring you the gift of nurturing others with personal benefits to you.

“A psychic sees things from the outside perspective. We as humans have a difficult time stepping outside the box and looking at things from a very neutral standpoint.” – Lacy ext. 5494 

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Changing With Your Husband as He Ages

Bonnie from Cary, North Carolina asks:

I have only been married three years. My husband has only had sex with me ten times, and I started those ten. When I ask about it, I get no reply. He never hugs me and the only real kiss I have recieved was on our wedding. He always says he loves me, but now I’m at my wits’ end as to what to do. 

Carmen Responds:

Dear Bonnie,

This is a tough one. The question I would have is how was your sex life while you were dating? Did he lose his interest after you guys got married? Either way, it’s time to have a real conversation about it. You need to sit him down and tell him how you feel. Don’t accuse him, or put him down, because this is a delicate matter and requires diplomacy and sensitivity.

There are many reasons why a man may lose his sex drive and some of them have absolutely nothing to do with their partner. Men can lose their sex drive with age, due to their testosterone levels dropping. This is something a doctor can help with. Other reasons include stress, depression and exhaustion. The problem is that no matter what the cause is, we tend to take it personal. As women we tend to connect our feelings of self-worth and base our feelings of how desirable we think we are on the physical feedback we receive from our men. When they cut off the sex, we tend to think it is something we did, and therefore often believe that it is also something we can fix.

“Real trust takes real time.” – Reed ext. 5105

Have that conversation with him. Sit him down and tell him that you really need to talk about this. Do not ask him, but tell him that you miss being physical and that you would like to work on that part of your relationship. Tell him that a healthy sex life is important to you and that you miss intimacy. Maybe he can at least agree to touching and cuddling without the sex part, until he figures out what he needs to do. Either way, you definitely have to talk about it, because if you just let it simmer, you’ll end up building resentment towards him and that will only end in bad times. If he loves you, he will at least listen to you and hopefully, agree to work on this. No matter how much we love someone, a relationship without any physical contact is simply not going to work in the long run.

“To attain the love you want, be prepared to be, or work to become, the type of person you want to attract!” - Yemaya ext. 5143

Have a question for Carmen? Ask it here!

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Trust Your Gut

Alya in Montreal, Canada writes:

I started a relationship with a person from a dating website. I talked to him once on the phone, and the same night I dreamt that I was marrying someone that turned out to be my brother. I felt sick and tried to run away, but he came looking for me for revenge with some other guys and with the intention of rape. As I was fighting for my life, I woke up very sick and scared! I was totally disturbed, mentally and emotionally. Do you think I should continue this relationship?

“Sleep awakens the intuitive nature within each of us.” – Psychic Reba ext. 5508

Hello Alya,

Because the dream happened on the night of the phone call, it may indeed be a warning that something is amiss with your new guy. You need to trust your gut instinct. The next time you talk with him, mentally check in with yourself to see how you’re feeling. If you feel anxious, tense or depleted, then end all contact with him.

As for the dream, your brother may indicate that your guy has some negative traits that remind you of a family member. Or this new relationship may be inappropriate in some way, such as a wife still in the picture. The revenge scenario is disturbing, to say the least. It implies a man who is controlling and doesn’t respect your wishes. I looked up your chart and discovered that transiting Pluto is nearing a square to your Mars in Aries. This influence, which is in effect until the beginning of 2015, may bring someone into your life with negative Pluto characteristics. Considering your dream, it’s not surprising that Pluto is associated with revenge, control and force. We attract people with traits that mirror something within us. Do you have an issue that needs to be resolved concerning powerlessness, control, anger or a craving for excitement? The clearer your psyche is the better chances you’ll have of attracting someone compatible who will treat you well.

Sweet dreams,

Cortney

“Take constant small steps toward what you want and don’t focus on the timeframe.” – Psychic Leo ext. 5265

Would you like to ask Cortney about your dream? Send Cortney your dream.

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Share Your Mother’s Day Love, Enter to Win a 10-Minute Reading

Here’s an open question to our readers: What do mothers deserve more recognition for? What would you like to recognize your mother, or the mothers of the world for? Here’s your chance to offer a bit of love and recognition for a group of people who don’t get enough thanks!

We encourage your open commentary on the blog—we’re looking forward to your feedback, and a lively discussion!

One lucky winner who posts the most inspiring entry will receive a free 10-minute reading—now’s your chance!*

The contest will end May 14 at 5 p.m PST… on your marks!

* 10-minute reading applies to calls that cost $3.50 – $4.00/minute. Stories containing specific names, legal or medical information, or pertaining to illegal activities, will not be posted. Psychics cannot enter to win. All content is owned by California Psychics. Names will be changed to protect the authors.

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We Bid You a Fond Farewell

We are very sad to share we have lost our dearly loved Psychic Meryl ext. 9376. She was an incredible light of spiritual awareness and a consistent presence on the line. It is truly not the same without her. We feel blessed to have known her and can feel her smiling down on us all saying that we are “empowered.” She helped so many find peace and balance, so now we must continue on that path for her sake.

Meryl worked for California Psychics since 2006 and had over 30 years of experience as a sensitive intuitive Tarot reader. She specialized in guiding people toward clarity. One of her customers said it best when she called in after a reading exclaiming: “I love Meryl! She is very accurate, straightforward, gets to the point, and doesn’t waste any time with chatter. Top notch!” That was Meryl!

Along with reading on our line, she also helped her husband – the man whose name she predicted before they ever met – ready a book for publication. They were united in marriage for over 30 years.

After discovering that she was dealing with some serious health concerns last year, Meryl called our office and said the following: “I love you all and just hope that you take care.” So we feel that is what Meryl would have liked – to share those kind and beautiful words with everyone.

She is survived by her husband, a host of family, friends, and colleagues. We send our condolences to all those who knew the abundance that was Meryl.

Is Marriage a Failing Institution?

Some statistics may suggest that marriage is a dying institution. According to recent Pew Research Center findings, only around half of all Americans are currently married. This may sound fairly normal until you realize that in 1960, that percentage was much closer to three-fourths. What’s causing the steep decline in interest? Financial burden isn’t having much of an effect, according to Pew.

Some naysayers claim the purpose of marriage is becoming obsolete in a modern society where people can maintain what they need for themselves with technology. Scientists speculate that by 2050, we may become so in love with our computers, that we may actually marry them—in other words, a handful of men and women may prefer robot companions to that of human. According to statistics, a portion of couples are already happy with long-distance Internet relationships rather than physical relationships, which isn’t all that different.

According to PEW researchers, there are a couple of reasons why some people might be losing faith in marriage:

• Social Obligation. Society helps dictate how people live, and with a much more open attitude towards single parent adoptions and same-sex marriages, the idea of becoming a husband or wife is no longer necessary to be an accepted member of society.

• Independence. Both men and women, age 18 to 35, and age 45 and older, are enjoying their freedom. Sure, they still have the need for some companionship. However, when they get tired of their company, they are glad they can boot them out the door, reclaim their own bedroom, and get some private, quiet time to themselves.

• Financial freedom. While some couples still combine earning power to enjoy more wealth, many singles are proud of the fact that they are completely financially independent. On the opposite side of that coin, more 20 and 30-something’s are living at home, extending their childhood well past adulthood.

• Education. Young Americans who are attending a university to boost their career potential are putting off settling down until later in life. Maintaining relationships without marriage, perhaps gives them more opportunities to hold onto their sanity and wealth without fear of losing it to divorce.

• Satisfaction. With comfort brings stability, and with stability decreases the justification to settle. More and more singles are waiting for their soulmate. If he or she doesn’t come along, they are satisfied with the idea of remaining single.

“Relationships are hard. To say they aren’t is a lie, but the best things in life are the ones we have to work at constantly, and still enjoy.” - Lacy ext. 5494

So, who still wants marriage? Let’s see what a few different groups have to say about it.

• Single (never been married). 61 percent of singles do believe in marriage, and hope to one day be a part of that institution. Out of the Americans who are not so enthusiastic about the prospects of marriage, 47 percent say that they would give it a try if the opportunity arose.

• Divorced. Only 27 percent of this group says they would attempt marriage again. The majority of these men and women report in surveys that they are much happier being single.

• College educated. Statistics suggest that the college graduate is still very much in agreement with the institute of marriage. While they may be putting it off longer (median age 28.7 for men and 26.5 for women), 67 percent of this group will eventually get married.

• High School Educated. Only 48 percent of Americans who are high school educated (or less) are getting married, and they are also more likely to consider marriage as obsolete.

• Age. While the number of 18 to 35-year-old Americans getting married is decreasing, especially the 18 to 24 crew, who are 91 percent single (up 36 percent from 1960); the 36 to 45 age range continues to marry more than ever.

• Race. White Americans make up 55 percent of all married couples, compared to 48 percent of Hispanic Americans and 31 percent of black Americans. Reporters also mention that this disparity may be explained by the relatively young age of the latter groups.

The remaining, trend-setting married couples are clearly waiting longer, which means they are better prepared, more financially stable, and less likely to be a part of divorce statistics down the road. Who needs marriage? Nobody, other than those who are certain they have found their love of a lifetime. Even those who are fairly certain they have discovered their happily ever after, certainly don’t need to spend a couple hundred dollars in fees just to profess their devotion to each other.

However, I do not think that marriage has become obsolete, but rather is being reserved for those who are ready to take on its pledge with eyes wide open. Marriage may be becoming something to aspire to, rather than something we have to do. There is something peculiar that happens when a society puts a certain type of relationship on a pedestal. It becomes something we strive for. The fact that nobody needs marriage, may be the best thing that ever happened to it.

“Relationships magnify the human experience.” - Quinn ext. 5484

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Confront Every Fear

The Indian guru Yogananda made reference to a teaching by his master when he was an adolescent. It was in his book, The Autobiography of a Yogi, and concerned the subject of fear. His teacher told him that he was going to reveal a very simple lesson, yet it was of the utmost importance. The statement was, “Confront every fear, and fear will no longer confront you.” We, as human beings, are hard-wired to fear only two things: falling and loud noises. All else is learned behavior.

The ancient Egyptian and Greek hermetic traditions reveal that all manifestations in reality are the creations of the mind. The law of attraction is related to this concept. Yet, our fears are creating manifestations all of the time. It is interesting to note how difficult it is for even spiritually sophisticated souls to bypass fear as a motivator in their lives. It is one thing to intellectually understand how living in reaction to perceived threats can diminish our peace and joy in life, but developing an emotional detachment must be accomplished with dedicated and deliberate effort.

Fear causes people to stay in toxic relationships. Fear causes people to resist change. Fear causes people to repeat patterns in their lives that never worked for them and never will. Fear is about survival. Even when the threat is long past, the ego remembers and still reacts and controls. The cost to us is happiness and growth. Over time, we get further and further from our heart and our deepest longing. For many, pain defines their lives. Change can be a fearful worry to be avoided, even when necessary.

There is a Buddhist saying that states, “All of the unhappiness in the world is the result of people trying to hang on to other people, places and things in a constantly changing reality.” There is an ebb and flow in all of reality. Pain and joy are the same, and the truth is always in the middle. It is all a part of our learning curve in life.

So how does one effectively confront and eliminate the paralysis of fear reaction? Ignore the pain and enjoy what brings you happiness. Here we are back to the law of attraction. What we fill our minds with is what we create. I have learned over the years the following: The universe will always bring us what we fear to teach us to grow beyond it. So fear nothing.

The establishment of this paradigm is easier said than done. Periodically, one must “check in” to monitor feelings, thoughts and reactions. The hard truth is that one must feel what is controlling one’s thoughts. Until there is a recognition of the fear response, there is no possibility of controlling it. Begin by reviewing what you fear, honestly. Common fears might include: fear of commitment, fear of not being good enough, fear of abandonment, fear of intimacy. Pay strict attention to the labels that you have attached to yourself that diminish your positive self image. Then take reasonable risks to challenge those fears. The changes you create in your life do not have to be massive: even the slightest shift will add to self-empowerment. This is how we shift from reactive behaviors to truly deliberate living, and the objective is fearless joy.

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Happy Mother’s Day!

“I’ll always love my mama. She’s my favorite girl…” – The Intruders

Mother’s Day weekend—It’s a precious time to share love with our deepest karmic connection, our mom. With the Moon moving from Capricorn into Aquarius, we will find a stabilizing vibration allowing us to get through this weekend without too much drama. For those of you who have “baby mama drama” going on, focus on yourself and your mother. Let the men have at it—the weekend will fly by fast enough and as the Pisces Moon adds that touch of loving kindness (metta) on Sunday, all’s well that ends well.

Aries

In-laws, out-laws, do not, I repeat, do not take on the responsibility of others. This is a weekend where your thinking is very important in the organization of the dinner for Sunday. Keep yourself busy with what you have to do and don’t enable others by doing their jobs for them.

Taurus

Feeling like going camping or hunting does not make the family happy. If you must go, do it Friday and Saturday so that Sunday the family can spend time with you.

Gemini

“Perfection and multi-tasking” is your mantra for this weekend. The family wants to meet at your home but if you can get reservations at one of your favorite restaurants, you will have more time to visit without having to clean up afterwards. Although you certainly have the energy for whatever comes your way, make it easy on yourself.

Cancer

Emotions run deep causing your energy to be low on Friday and Saturday. A phone call from a family member brings a smile to your face and heightens your all around vibrations so that you can tackle anything that comes your way on Sunday.

Leo

Good thing there are flower stands on the side of the road so you can pick up those last minute gifts for the mother(s) in your life. This weekend keeps you moving at a fast pace. Take Saturday night to chill out and gather yourself for Sunday where a pair of running shoes will serve you well.

Virgo

Always prepared with Mother’s Day cards in the mail a week early, you get to relax and enjoy the weekend. A few phone calls and the time is all yours. A friend needs your help and of course loving to serve, you help those you care for.

Libra

Relax, and don’t be upset with your husband. After all, you are not his mother. I know you feel like it sometimes but your husband has a mom. He will however surprise you with a gift for being the best mother to your children who are too young to shop. Overall, it will be a nice family day.

Scorpio

Bringing the depth of the day to the table is easy for you as you give a lovely toast to those who sit beside you. This is one of those weekends where you feel a little over the top emotionally. It is okay as all the love that surrounds you keeps you comfortable enough to be open with your thoughts.

Sagittaurius

Get the rest you need on Friday night because you will be called upon to head up the events for the weekend. Your creative ideas spruce up the environment and leave a lasting impression on all who gather at the table on Sunday.

Capricorn

From a low Friday night to exceeding your wildest expectations on Saturday, this weekend will be a real roller coaster ride. No doubt, Saturday is your finest hour, all 24 of them. Therefore, it’s no surprise you get to do almost everything to prepare for Sunday. You hit the nail on the head in all you do. Props go out to the Capricorn.

Aquarius

Friends gather so that you don’t feel homesick. They make this weekend interesting. There will be new people that bring an energy of comfort and good vibrations. Expanding your circle of friends gives you new things to think about and ponder creatively.

Pisces

Everyone knows you love Mother’s Day because you are and have been Mom’s favorite forever. Bring on the flowers, candy, and cards dripping with gooey poems and loving thoughts. All your loving energy is appreciated. You are sweet and kind, so how could anyone not love you. Enjoy all the love this weekend.

Exclusive offer: New customers can speak to a psychic for ONLY $1 per minute. Select your psychic advisor here.

Welcome Our New Additions to California Psychics!

Tap in to Psychic Wisdom to Find Your Stuff!

We’ve all had the experience of losing and misplacing objects, papers, a check, keys or some important item that was with us a few minutes ago and has now suddenly become invisible right before our eyes! Some of these items are swiftly found and others may have remained lost or hidden forever from our view. Today, I’m going to provide you with what I call my “Magic Mantra” to help you find items you may have lost in the house, at work, in the office, in the car or any place that you frequent regularly. These objects can be things that you have misplaced or put away so they won’t get lost! Often times we have hidden them so well that we just can’t find them! Sometimes it feels as if the items have dematerialized right in front of our eyes. They’re just nowhere to be found. Where could they have gone? There are times we may be looking right at them and not even seeing them. It sometimes feels as if they’ve grown feet and simply walked away!

I’m now going to reveal to you my “Magic Mantra” for having lost and hidden items reveal themselves to you. And here is one step you need to follow  before the “Magic Mantra” begins to work for you! One thing that needs to happen is that you must be absolutely certain that you understand the unspoken law that goes with it. You will be tuning into your higher self, and you can’t possibly tune into your higher self until you firmly believe you can without the faintest shadow of a doubt.

You will also see that the first time you use the Magic Mantra it will work and will successfully work for you time and time again. You see, once you’ve observed its power real, every seed of doubt will have vanished from your conscious mind. You’ll then be as confident of it working for you as you are when you turn on a light switch, knowing the light will go on.

So, now comes the very simple part. Here is the Magic Mantra. It is something that you must say out loud. Then, as you continue to do a quick search again, repeating the Mantra, with the knowingness that your object will find you, you can then change your thoughts, go about your business and put all concerns of finding it out of your mind.

It has been my experience that one of two things will occur. One… the object will find you. It will magnetize itself toward you. You’ll turn around, or take a few steps after you’ve said your mantra and dismissed it from your mind, and then wham bam! There it is before your eyes, often times in a spot you’ve looked at many times and simply hadn’t seen. Sometimes it’ll just appear our of nowhere, and that’s when it gets a bit weird.

So, are you ready ? Remember, if you believe in the power of these words, and remember the biblical quote “first there was the word,” and you’re ready to know, without a doubt, that these words will bring you the desired result, you are ready. Here is the “ Magic Mantra” : “Divine Higher Spirit of my Self, I now ordian that I instantly find ……..” (Here you fill in the blank with what it is you are seeking.) “Thank you, by thy Grace, Amen.” (As you say this, please use your power of visualization to see this object magnetizing itself to you.) It is vey important that you close your statement with gratitude and appreciation for the vast powers that are working in the unseen world.

If you learn to use this “Magic Mantra” with reverence, you’ll find that every lost or misplaced object will magnetize itself to you.

Enjoy and remember to provide the universe and your higher self with gratitude for showing you a mini miracle!

Exclusive offer: New customers can speak to a psychic for ONLY $1 per minute. Select your psychic advisor here.

Wear the Masks of His Desires

When the question is asked, “Do men want women who can be one of the guys,” the answer is not always as straightforward as women would like. There hasn’t been a lot of research on this topic, and if you plop in on a couple of forums as this idea is being batted around, you will notice that no one guy has the same reaction to this concept. However, with that being said, there are a couple of tips that will help any girl fit in with her guy’s lifestyle (and circle of friends), which will certainly give her beer points (especially if she’s the one buying).

1. You Want to Be There

The first thing is, you’ve got to want to be a part of the activity before expressing interest. You can actually put yourself into a worse position if you’re out fishing, and cry every time he pulls in a fish, or make a “pukey” face when the announcer screams, “We’re going into overtime,” during the game. Guys do like a girl who likes some of the same things as them. However, it has to be genuine.

2. He Wants You to Be There

Forcing yourself into your guy’s time will work about as successfully as when mom used to make him drag around his younger brother everywhere he went. By expressing interest, he will eventually get the hint, and invite you along to something he feels comfortable with having you there. Guys are actually very social animals, so joining his group for one outing should not be too difficult.

3. Leave the Chatter Box

Girls love to talk. Guys know that, and love that about you. However, if you have ever watched a group of guys fishing, or playing a few rounds on the golf course, there is a time and a place for conversation. Male bonding is more about the activity, than what is being said. In the beginning, listen more than you talk. Get a feel for his friends, before you immerse yourself into their dialogue. Guys don’t like change, so the less they notice you, the more they will enjoy your company.

4. Be Up for Anything

Guys love a woman who is up for trying anything once (assuming it is not demeaning, overtly dangerous, or mean spirited, of course). Guys may have a hard time believing that you don’t like some of their favorite activities, and the only way to settle this, is to actually go out and try it. If you go to the car races, and hate it; at least you tried, and he will respect you more for that, than if you had just left it go at “no.”

5. Hold Your Ground

When hanging out with a group of guys, you may be challenged at one point. This is a good sign, as it means you are being initiated. Men respect direct correspondence, so if a guy makes a joke at your expense, you will actually get bonus points if you can dish one back. Once you have a feel for the group, and have something to add to a conversation, hold your ground, get to the point, and speak clearly and directly.

6. Good Enough, Really is “Good Enough”

Guys come from the “no muss no fuss” school of life. They get by with a minimum of fuss, because they have found that “good enough” works fine most of the time. In other words, don’t worry about the little things when spending time with your guy!

“If you think you are sexy, your partner will think you are sexy!” – Psychic Deejay ext. 5435

7. If You Had a Pair, They’d be Swinging Low and Slow

In any given day, 66 percent of women suffer from anxiety, while only 33 percent of men endure these same ill effects. This is a very important difference, as women are more structured. However, when enjoying guy time, a woman should release her need to be in control, and just allow time to pass with the distant clouds. This may be frustrating at first, as time in his man cave, may seem more like three-hours of watching flies fornicate. None-the-less, there is a valuable lesson to be learned. If there is nothing important for you to be doing at that moment, just enjoy this time with your guy. Moments in silence can be very powerful. Nature does not always feel the need to speak back to us. However, that doesn’t make these moments any less fulfilling!

“The only person you can change is yourself. Learn to accept others as they are or move on.” - Rivers ext. 5273

Exclusive offer: New customers can speak to a psychic for ONLY $1 per minute. Select your psychic advisor here.

Our Psychics Predicted It

For over fifteen years, our psychics have predicted things about many people’s careers, family situations and, in particular, their love lives. Some of our customers have written in to tell us if the predictions came true or not. Here are just a few of our psychics’ prediction that came true about love.

Richard from Schaumburg wrote in about Esmeralda ext. 5366:

“I have been working with Esmeralda since the fall of 2011. On our first reading, she saw through my confused state and gave me the guidance and direction I needed. Her predictions were 100% accurate. I have been meeting with her regularly since then for minor tune-ups. I should be getting engaged within the year, and it will be due to the help and guidance that she has given me. I will never be able to thank her enough for what she has done!”

A.I. from Saratoga told us about her prediction from Psychic Alison ext. 9885:

“Alison! Everything you’ve been telling me about ‘A’ came true last night. Word for word he told me the things you said he has been thinking: ‘You’re mine,’ ‘Now that you have your own place, it changes everything.’ ‘I’m so happy, I don’t have to share you with anyone.’ ‘I love you more than anything.’ You understood his energy all along. I believe you, I trust you, I never question you Alison. I love you, you are my angel.”

Loraine from Wading River happily wrote to us about her perfect prediction from Psychic Barbie ext. 9295:

“Barbie, I didn’t believe you, but you got it right. You said I would be dating Larry, the guy from Match.com. We have a date tonight. He said he misses me. When a psychic gets something right, I want to jump up and down with joy! So you haven’t been just saying things to make me feel better. You are exceptionally kind, but you are also very psychic. Thank you.”

Tell us what predictions have come true for you!

Exclusive offer: New customers can speak to a psychic for ONLY $1 per minute. Select your psychic advisor here.

What the Moon Has in Store for You!

While your sun sign is a reflection of the person you present to others and your outward actions, your moon sign dictates your inner emotions and reactions to the outside world. Yet while the sun transits through your sign but once a year, the moon moves through each of the signs at least once a month—talk about big impact!

While the lunar transits affect everyone, look for a particularly strong effect on your state of being when the moon transits through your individual moon sign. On that note, here’s your lunar forecast for May!

(To locate your moon sign, click here.)

Virgo

The moon starts off the month in your sign (and returns again on the 28th for two days), fair Virgo, highlighting an appreciation for the small stuff. This makes it easy for everyone—not just Virgos—to enjoy otherwise pedestrian day-to-day activities. While not terribly exciting, it’s a content time, provided you stay busy!

Libra

On May 2 and 3 (as well as on the 30th) Libra is the lunar host, casting a friendly but fickle air. The stage is set for social gatherings and debates. It’s not an ideal time to be alone.

“An astrologer can see from several aspects in a chart compatibility between love and marriage partners.” – Psychic Faith ext. 9608

Scorpio

Nothing is halfway from May 4 to 6, especially as the full moon occurs during these days (precisely when depends on where you live). It’s a time of rebirth, when emotions and cycles have reached their capacity and must be expressed in order to begin anew. Remember, the risk is worth the reward!

Sagittarius

On the heels of the Scorpio full moon, things feel easy breezy from the 6th to the 8th. You’ll have the feeling that everything will work out for the best, and as long as you don’t go too far out on a limb, odds are, it will!

Capricorn

Back to work! The moon in the sign of the practical goat from the 8th to the 11th has you wanting to be productive. Engaging in worthwhile activities (whether related to work or doing good) will have a positive effect on your energy.

Aquarius

From May 11 to 13, analytical energies take hold courtesy of the moon in the sign of the water bearer. Don’t be too boastful or lose track of yourself whilst assessing others around you.

Pisces

If you find yourself feeling more intuitive than normal mid month, thank the Piscean moon that graces us from the 13th to the 15th. You’re extra compassionate and loving, if a bit spacy.

Aries

If there are three fiery days this month, look to May 15 through 18, when the moon moves through the sign of the ram. Restraint is not in the cards at the moment and you may find your patience tested (since you’re not likely to be feeling much of it these days anyway)!

Taurus

May 18 and 19 draw you toward familiar, grounded activities, most likely in or around the home. This is thanks to the moon transit through the sign of the bull. You may find yourself prizing security, and you may also be more stubborn than usual!

Gemini

With a solar eclipse and a new moon in Gemini (both on May 20), communication is at the fore. Conversation is enhanced—wittier than usual, perhaps—and curiosity is at an all time high. Be busy during this time, and don’t allow yourself to be mislead.

Cancer

Just when you thought things couldn’t be lighter and breezier, the moon transits through its home sign of Cancer from the 23rd to the 25th, casting an emotional air around everything. You’re sensitive and self-aware. Just be careful that doesn’t translate into becoming self-absorbed!

Leo

From May 25 to May 28, the moon is in the sign of the lion, promoting a penchant for organization and a love of the spotlight. Socialize. Just make sure you don’t get too controlling or try to steal the show. When Leo energy abounds, you need only to be yourself to garner attention!

“Astrology brings so much to the table, it gives you the personality, likes and dislikes of a person. Their nature is uncovered and if it is not a match for you, it can be worked around to make it work.” – Quinn ext. 5484

Exclusive offer: New customers can speak to a psychic for ONLY $1 per minute. Select your psychic advisor here.

Karma Rewards and More

What a wonderful thing it is to have your personal Natal Chart done as a gift. Not only does it include a graph of your chart, but also an explanation of what it means. In addition,  this is free when you sign up for Karma Rewards. What good karma!

What you put out is what you get back (the nature of karma). It’s very impressive, giving someone the key to the kingdom of knowledge in exchange for joining in a program that only keeps on giving. In essence, the more people that join and receive their charts, the more understanding our client base becomes. Therefore, what we get back are educated callers that understand the dynamics of astrology through their own life’s mirror, which is their Natal Chart.

There are some facts about astrology, and one that really hits home is how does your Natal Chart come to be? The day you were born the stars and planets were in a position in the sky. Based on the time and location of your birth, the planets form a circle/wheel. On this wheel are the placements of the planets in the houses with the signs, and they make up the aspects by mathematical design.

You know the old joke about a person asking, “How do I get to Carnegie Hall?” The answer is practice, practice, practice… Well, learning astrology is very much the same. One must put the information to use to understand the whys, whats and hows of their chart. If you have no idea what you’re looking at when you see your chart, how can it possibly be helpful? That is why California Psychics not only gives you the picture of your chart, but the introduction and explanation of what it means. This is an excellent way to get started on your psychic journey of understanding what you’re made of based on the vast solar system and how you fit into its spiritual energies.

I must admit that when I joined Karma Rewards, I was so excited to get my chart, even though I have had my chart done several times before in the sixties, seventies, eighties, nineties, and so on. Of course, they are all the same, but the collection I have can be sold on eBay for thousands of dollars if I become famous and die… just kidding.

The value of having your chart done by California Psychics is great. It will give you the insight to ask questions and help your psychic to better know what makes you tick. Your chart comes with three effects of knowledge: the Cosmo Natal Report, Major Life Themes Chart Interpretation, and of course, the Natal Chart. These three things help you begin to understand the universal system of astrology and:

• how you fit in it

• who you are

• what you need to overcome in this life

• what you brought with you from past lives

• how your family, friends and lovers fit into your life

• how money and career paths take place

May your stars shine brightly and if you need to jazz up your life, get your free Natal Chart and begin this new journey of awareness.

Exclusive offer: New customers can speak to a psychic for ONLY $1 per minute. Select your psychic advisor here.

Love in 90 Days

The Essential Guide to Finding Your Own True Love

Did you know that we are currently in the Chinese Year of the Dragon? This is a year of good fortune, and a perfect time to take action and make your dreams come true, especially in the arena of love! So how can you take full advantage of this time of possibilities? You can learn about simple changes you can make right now that lead to big life transformations and help you get the relationship that is just right for you.

Christie, a 44 year old nurse, did just that. She was someone who had trouble getting even one date. Now she’s a dating queen! And all she did was use a key secret from my book, Love in 90 Days: The Essential Guide to Finding Your Own True Love. Here’s how she describes it:

“When I started using your Love in 90 Days book, I didn’t realize how much I believed ‘I’m fat and unlovable.’ I have never had a good long-term relationship and I really believed that I would never have one. I’d give excuses to people that ‘I’m too busy’ or ‘I don’t need a man’ but the truth is I never thought it would happen to me.

By the fourth week of using the book, that belief was GONE! I had dated about a dozen men at that point and every single one of them wanted me. I’m convinced, using your simple techniques, there is someone for everybody. At the nine-week mark, I am dating a fantastic guy who is different from anyone I ever dated before—my true soul mate!”

When Christie started using Love in 90 Days, she would say things like, “I’m too unattractive,” “Men want thinner women” or “I’m too old!” She was focused on what was wrong or unattractive about her. This kind of negative self talk tends to hold you back from getting out there to ride the wave of good fortune that is available to you right now. The simple step Christie made was to turn this negative self talk into positive inner comments about herself—a 360º turn that completely transformed her love life. Christie learned to focus on what was attractive about her through a simple 10-minute exercise from Love in 90 Days. I call this finding your Diamond Self—your best self identity.

This absurdly easy exercise can boost and build your self-confidence and self-esteem many times over, so that you can find a real love match that is just right for you. You can also deepen that connection with the One you really want. There are many other simple tips that can turn this year of the dragon into your year of lasting passionate love in Love in 90 Days. The book has helped thousands of women and men find the love of their dreams! Your turn and your time is now.

Go for it! Get a free* copy of Love in 90 Days through this exclusive offer.

Here are just a few of the dozens of other tips in Love in 90 Days:

• Exactly where to meet dozens of terrific partners. I know, you can’t even find one good person to date! (page 91)

• The single most important thing you can do to win the love of the One you really want. (page 4)

• How to create an amazing connection in the first meeting or date so that he or she can’t wait to call and see you again. (pages 80-81)

• How to create a Love Intention or vision for your future and translate that vision into the practical, effective actions needed to make it real. (pages 89-91)

• The big mistake women make that makes a guy decide that she’s not the One for him. (page 20)

• How to prevent a man from suddenly become guarded, emotionally distant and disappearing from your life. (page 148)

• The six secrets of rapid online dating success and how to use them to meet millionaires, doctors, business owners and other successful men. (pages 97-104)

• How to take your dating life from ho-hum to having adventures that are out of a romance movie. (Just ask some of my former students!) (page 80)

• How the powerful Dating Program of Three guarantees that you will not be alone without a great man in your life. (pages 42-44)

• The Three KEY questions you MUST ask about any guy you are thinking of dating. The answers to these questions can save you years of trouble and heartache. (page 78)

• The fool-proof signs that a man is relationship material and someone who can bring to life the longing in your heart of hearts. (page 79)

• How to tell for sure if he’s the One, or whether he is just wasting the most precious years of your life. (pages 87-88)

• The thing many women do to try to keep a man interested that actually drive him into the arms of another woman. (pages 25-26)

• Ten red-flag signs that you are wasting your precious time with a player or commitment-phobe. (I know he talks such a great game when he is with you.) (page 107)

• The exclusive DUDs and STUDs Report: a wonderful tool that helps you rate your guys. (The best ones leap off the page.) (pages 158-165)

• New ways of being and acting that help you find the One and win his love forever. (pages 75-77)

• The 4 myths of online dating that I debunk forever. (And they’ve probably been keeping you from tapping a goldmine of possibilities.) (pages 95-96)

• The Ultimate First Aid for Heartache. I will show you how to get over a break-up and come out stronger and better than ever. (pages 214-216)

• A simple fix for getting out of abusive relationships forever. This one could save your life. (pages 187-188)

• Why steamy hot sex too early in a relationship inevitably leads to disaster. (And how you can forever stop acting like a moth to a flame.) (pages 181-182)

• How women end up being just buddies with men and how to never ever end up like that. (You know you can’t get married that way, right?) (page 193)

• A psychological secret that you can use to create chemistry with a good partner who’s “not your type.” (pages 160-162)

Get Love in 90 Days for free!* Check out this exclusive offer.

(All Page numbers refer to the paperback version of Love in 90 Days)

Diana Kirschner, Ph.D. is a psychologist whose revolutionary work is the basis of a PBS TV special on love. She is the author of the best-selling dating advice book, Love in 90 Days, and the highly acclaimed relationship advice book, Sealing the Deal: The Love Mentor’s Guide to Lasting Love. Visit Dr. Diana at www.lovein90days.com.

* While supplies last.

Take Stock of Yourself and Be Thankful

In the movie Sideways, two buddies take a road trip through California’s wine country. Paul Giamatti’s character is a depressed, angsty, lonely writer. His friend has to constantly remind him: “Don’t go to the dark places.”

No matter how happy and contented we are most of the time, we all take a detour into the dark places sometimes. Congratulations, we’re human!

But once you realize that you’ve shifted downward, there’s nothing to be gained by lingering in the depths. Eventually we have to get over wallowing in the sadness, and cease worrying, complaining, and stewing about it. Life is too amazing for that; it just becomes very hard to forget this in our darkest moments.

So let these ideas shift you out of that dark place into a brighter one. Sometimes a shift is all you need.

1. You are not your thoughts. I thank the authors Eckhart Tolle and Wayne Dyer for bringing this idea home to me. Our thoughts can create negative interpretations of our lives that aren’t reality. When you recognize that your troublesome thoughts aren’t who you are; you’re free to break away from the painful hold they once had on you.

2. Replace old habits with new habits. If you want to get rid of a bad habit like complaining or being pessimistic, you have to have something better ready to take its place. Try positive affirmations or healing mantras to replace old, negative soundtracks in your head.

3. Make a physical shift! Stand up and get moving. Do something active and healthy for your body, even if it’s just a long walk. Exercise releases healthy hormones and endorphins that naturally bring happiness and peace of mind.

4. Change the scenery. If you can’t change the physical scenery by getting out and about, you can change your mental scenery by reading a funny website or reading an inspiring article or book. Cleaning your living area to bring positive new visuals into your home life will refresh your mental and emotional states too.

5. Get some form of healing or therapy. There are many kinds of healing beyond talk therapy, like sound, music, or art therapy. Explore what speaks to you. It’s also healing to find a trusted person to talk with.

“It is our birthright to have happiness and joy in our lives.” – Psychic Martisse ext. 5335

6. Write it out. Just write about where you are in this moment. Sometimes when we’re in a negative place, that place wants a voice. Give it a voice for a page or so to release it. Then you can let it go and move on.

7. Do something to help somebody else out. It can be as involved as an afternoon of volunteering or as simple as straightening up items in a grocery store. Helping others lifts our spirits and takes our minds off repetitive and self-absorbed thoughts.

8. Forgiveness. When we forgive, we’re not condoning another’s bad behavior; we’re releasing the hold that behavior has on us. Doreen Virtue has a great exercise she calls the “forgiveness corral.” Imagine that the people who’ve wronged you are held in a pen, or corral, in your mind. Then open the door and with full forgiveness allow them to leave, one by one.

9. Let love in. Negativity, worry and fear are the absence of love. When you love showers your whole being, there’s no room left for the dark places to take over. It can start as simply as setting the affirmation: “I am a being of love, surrounded by love always.”

10. Be thankful for everything. As the tapestry of our lives unfolds, we gain perspective. We realize that A led to B which led to C. Or maybe A had to go to M, then double back and take the long way to C, for reasons that become crystal-clear as time goes on. Saying thank you to all the events of our lives puts the power back in your hands. You’ve learned the lesson this event needed to teach, you’re moving forward with gratitude and grace and you’re stronger than you ever would have known.

“Trust that what you are asking for will come to be. Know that the source has heard your questions and trust it will be handled.” - Mimi ext. 5522

Exclusive offer: New customers can speak to a psychic for ONLY $1 per minute. Select your psychic advisor here.

Psychics Cast Light on Your Questions

If you could have the answers to any question in your life, what would it be? Would you ask about your relationships, career, destiny, or something else? Our psychics can cast light on parts of your life that you may need guidance on—so when you answer what you’d want to know about, remember that actually knowing is only a phone call away!

Exclusive offer: New customers can speak to a psychic for ONLY $1 per minute. Select your psychic advisor here.

Earn His Attention

Are you discouraged by how minimal your guy pays attention when both your panties and bras are pulled up and fastened? Do you have to bake a lasagna just to get him out of his recliner? The promise of sex and food has always been one way to get a man’s attention. However, do you really want to swing around a stripper pole or delve into the Betty Crocker homemakers manual each time you want attention? Well, you’ve got to think like a man in order to earn it.

Gain His Respect

Men respect a woman who takes pride in herself. This is a woman who speaks her mind, expresses her opinions, and inspires him to be his best. Another tactic is to police yourself on the use of phrases, such as “I think,” or “little.” Admit it ladies, how often have you said something along the lines of, “I think that you should mow the lawn tomorrow.” Why? Because it sounds like it is more of a question than a request. Men interpret statements like this as belittling, and gradually lose respect when you do it too often. Speaking of be-little, inserting the word “little” into any phrase is a gigantic no-no, as in (“in my little opinion,” “I have a little problem”). When a man respects a woman, he will seek her out, because he truly wants her opinion and approval.

Listen Up, Buddy!

A prenatal study concluded that soft music does not seem to calm boy infants nearly as much as girls. Upon further investigation, the researchers realized that it wasn’t the music itself, but rather the fact that the boys couldn’t hear it. Your guy’s hearing may not be as good as it used to be; which means it is even worse than how bad it was originally. So, when you want his attention, raise your volume a bit.

“Try something new and always communicate. You will be amazed at how far those things alone can take you.” – Psychic Lacy ext. 5494

Call Him By Name

Pet names are great in relationships, but men often associate them with unimportant love quips. If he’s not paying attention, call him by name, and he will know that you mean business. I can even count the number of things I have agreed to over the years in which I had no idea what my wife was actually asking me.

Live Your Own Life

Women who get caught up in maintaining their guy’s attention will only succeed in losing it quicker. By going about your business, and doing your own thing, you will create curiosity in your guy. Sure, at first he may seem all too glad to have his own time. However, it won’t be long before he’s wondering what you’ve been up to.

Timing

Men are spent by the end of their day at work, and this is not just laziness. Research suggests that men need time to reinvigorate their oxytocin-poor brain cells, which is generally right before dinner. This also happens to be when many women would like to have his attention. Psychologists recommend giving a man his zone-out time, where he can be alone and taunt flies with an open mouth. After a half-hour, you can snap your fingers, and he will awaken from his slumber.

Don’t Dilly

Guys often glaze over after about the first minute of listening to a woman. From his experience, the first couple minutes seem more like a rambling of feelings, rather than getting across any important points. Think of your man as a game show host, and you’ve got to get your opening statement out within 30 seconds or less. Men are not interested in the unnecessary facts, to be quite honest; our verbal cortex is a bit short on space, which means we can only process so much of a conversation. When you keep most discussions direct, to the point, and limited to 15 minutes, your guy will be more likely to pay attention to you now and in the future. Remember…

• Men
• Dig
• Bullet
• Points

Always Under-Promise and Over-Deliver

Some women try to get a man’s attention by creating buzz, but only succeed in letting him down if the hype doesn’t meet his expectations. The less you build up an event, the more surprise you will elicit, which will give him more reason to perk up every time you enter a room.

“Don’t deplete your energy by putting your desires on the back burner.” – Psychic Martisse ext. 5335

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You Already Know the Solution

“The first thing, no matter what the problems is the solution is the same.” Psychic Rose Mary ext. 9549 started off our interview with such an intriguing statement. “Whatever the issue is it’s an extension of you not feeling good about yourself. It will manifest itself at your job, in love and it’s somewhere inside of you.” It sort of reminded me about the rule of abundance (which my mother repeated to me every time I wanted something new), “You already have everything you need.” Here are the steps to take to find the solution.

Step 1: You’re Not Perfect, But You’re Courageous

So I asked Rose Mary, how do we find the courage to find the solution within our self? She replied, “You can’t go where you’re not ready to go. You have to acknowledge that you’re not perfect, not perfect in the way the world tells you. But you’re perfect based on you got here.”

Step 2: Get Away from the Issue

Rose Mary said that putting physical distance between you and the problem (or the person) will help you get connected to the solution. The trick is to notice your breathing. If you’re breathing up in your chest, chances are your angry, nervous and anxious pushing your mind off center. She recommends taking a few deep breaths. By breathing slowly, yoga teaches us, you can slow down your mind, emotions and nervous system. Literally, you will think more clearly because of it.

Step 3: What’s Really Bothering You?

So the person ticked you off, annoyed you or the situation is out of your control, and that irritates you, makes you sad and so on. Stop what you’re doing and try this. Rose Mary says to “…tie those issues to where you’re coming from. What is it that you actually want right now? What is your goal? What is lacking in your life? What is it that this situation truly represents for you? Once you can calmly answer those questions, solutions start to bubble up.

Rose Mary went on to say, “Do as much as you want to solve the problem, and then sit back. Let go of the resistance and just receive. We get so caught up in the issue that we can’t see the solution, because we’re not willing or ready to receive. Inherent in your question is the answer. It is in you.”

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You Would Never Know

What are some of the juiciest secrets that a woman might keep from not just her mate, but from her girlfriends, family, everyone and anyone? Let’s consider what these deep and dark secrets are most likely to be.

Addiction

A nasty hook, any type of substance addiction is usually a perfectly protected habit as long as the person is a highly functional addict. Generally an addict will ferociously protect their vice in order to continue the addiction; consequently no loved one is safe from their defensive web of lies.

Infidelity

A shameful act for most, sleeping with someone while in a relationship, or being the “other woman” in another relationship, is something a woman wouldn’t want others to know about and judge her for. Not only is judgment from others painful, but it can easily lead to the compounding of her guilt about the situation. Don’t forget too, that if she wants to try to hang onto her relationship, concealing the affair would likely be the only way to do so.

“It is possible to love more than one person at once, but realize that eventually you are going to have to make a decision, otherwise you are cheating yourself and your partners out of happiness.” – Psychic Lacy ext. 5494

Eating Disorders

Knowing that her disorder would be confronted and judged, she’d probably prefer to suffer in quiet misery than have her dirty laundry aired for all to see and perhaps pity. Another consideration is the amount of spiritual work she would have ahead of her if her loved ones became involved in finding her the professional help she needed. This would be a major life challenge that she is most certainly avoiding.

Abortions

Losing a child is such an extremely painful thing, but to play an active part in the act of it can easily be an experience so horrific to a woman that she’d never want to admit to it to anyone. Regardless of the circumstances which lead her to make her choice, and even if it was considered the best decision for everyone involved, she’d be likely to carry regret and pain for years which she’d much rather not relive with anyone.

Jealousy

Weakness is always difficult to admit, and jealousy is a pretty ugly emotional weakness, regardless of how “human” the emotion is. To admit jealousy is not only to admit a feeling of inadequacy at some level, but also to admit to harboring ill feelings towards another based on her perceived deficit.

Unrequited Love

How embarrassing and hurtful is it to feel strongly toward someone and not have that love returned? Not only is it a major blow to the ego, it’s a horrible feeling of rejection that she most likely prefers to keep secret. Sometimes suffering silently is an easier pill to swallow than exposing one’s painful episodes of rejection for all to see.

“Ask yourself if you truly don’t trust your partner, or if you haven’t healed from the hurt of a partner in the past.” – Psychic TeriLynn ext. 9625

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An Astrological Look at Our Pooches

Aries

Aries being the first sign, you can be sure that your dog will be Top Dog. It would be wise to buy an Aries dog first so that his position is not overrun. Being first or top dog is the key to his character or the root of your troubles. Houdini was an Aries, so if your dog does not want to be where you left him, lo and behold he will get out. Fighting is second nature to the Aries, yet these dogs avoid physical damage to themselves, which keeps the vet bills low.

DOS: This pooch needs a lot of exercise; it will seem they never get enough.

DONTS: This dog tends to get headaches so keep them out of the sun and heat.

Taurus

Here we have an easy to understand dog, dependable and steadfast, perhaps even stubborn. A real one-track minded kind of dog. Teaching him to stand or move will be more of a challenge than teaching him down or sit, as these last two come naturally.

DOS: Train him; they do better when told what to do, they are creatures of habit. Good training, good dog.

DONTS: Don’t move or change the furniture, this is very upsetting to the Taurus dog.

Gemini

You may think you own two dogs, or that a good doggie shrink is needed for what appears to be a dog with a split personality. Well, this is just pooch’s nature.

DOS: Give these dog lots of different activity; he needs a purpose in life. Moreover, if you think his puppyhood will end, forget it! Here we have a puppy forever.

DONTS: Do not leave him in the house or yard all day alone. They are very intelligent and will destroy out of boredom.

Cancer

Here we have a homebody; he will protect, love and never want to leave his home. Feeding will be a pleasure as long as it is top of the line food. No fast food for this furry pooch.

DOS: Do what he wants or he will report you the animal regulations.

DONTS: Don’t yell at him, he will sulk forever force is not effective either. Be nice to him and he will be nice to you.

Leo

A natural ruler, kingly and beautiful, you can bet he knows it too! This household and the rest of the world revolve around this Leo dog.

DOS: Appreciate him and let him know you love him. Show him lots of praise, the more praise you show this pooch the more he’ll want to please you.

DONTS: Do not let him roam the neighborhood. He thinks all the bitches are his, and who wants calls from the owners of pregnant Fifis?

Virgo

Here we have a real great pet a dog of great adaptability, so wherever you live will be fine for this dog.

DOS: Use authority, it will help this dog expand. Allow living in the house, he will strive to be the perfect pet.

DONTS: Leaving him in the yard could prove a mistake, it will be dug up. This dog loves to serve, so do not let this energy go to waste.

Libra

Balance is the key here - less obedience, more food, longer walks, and shorter workweeks. What you want for yourself is what the dog expects for itself.

DOS: Treat him like you treat yourself and he and he will love you forever. Give lots of love, as he will go out of his way to get it.

DONTS: Do not try to fool this dog, it will never happen.

Scorpio

A complex minded dog for sure, he‘d want a full eight hours sleep in the most comfortable room in the house. Here we have a psychic dog, as he leaps to his feet, hackles on end, barking at an empty corner of the room. When he’s made sure you’re scared stiff, he will relax again.

DOS: Let him know you don’t want a bossy dog. Ignore his tantrums, be strict  they love it.

DONTS: Don’t give into him or he’ll walk all over you. This is not a lovely-dovey dog, so don’t be a mush.

Sagittarius

Here we have a hunter - take this pooch on a tracking trip. The archer in him will know exactly when to strict. This is a one man or woman dog, as he has a problem dividing his loyalties. He learns from experiences.

DOS: Give him lots of sympathy when there are bitches around in heat; he falls in love easily. He might go off his food if he feels unloved.

DONTS: Don’t coop him up he will get restless. Don’t let him have the easy chair and couch; you will never get him off them.

Capricorn

Here we have a show stopper. A dog that costs big bucks. Show her and let her have puppies or stud this baby out. This is a high-tailed snob, social climber and class act.

DOS: Treat your pooch to fine things and the best care.

DONTS: Don’t let this dog go without socialization. This is AKC yuppie puppy for sure so no slumming.

Aquarius

This dog is a communicator, a pooch of little trouble in the home. Morning is a good time for going over obedience lessons, through you’ll find you have to be on your toes to keep his interest.

DOS: Teach him discrimination between friends and foes, as he’ll love everyone. Listen to this dog he is honest.

DONTS: Don’t expect undying loyalty, he has none. Don’t expect him to remember much. His memory is short so he will be in obedience class more than one time around.

Pisces

Here we have a dreamer, a gentle, wishy-washy dog – unpredictable and not sure if he is coming or going.

DOS: Take this pooch for a swim. Water and this dog have a love affair going on.

DONTS: Don’t take him to other people’s homes for visits as he dislikes being away from his cave. Start clipping his nails and grooming this pooch at a very young age as grooming is not one of this doggies highlights.

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For the Love of a Geek

It’s time to tackle some stereotypes about geeks and perhaps gain some valuable insights into the potential for a most rewarding beauty-and-the-geek love story.

Nice Guys Don’t Always Finish Last

While the stereotype is out there that women like being treated poorly by jerky bad boys, any woman who’s dated a few bad apples has likely learned some hard lessons and is ready to try out the guy who is boyishly sweet and attentively adorable. If she has healthy self-esteem, then she’s looking for someone who will treat her with respect, sweetness, and perhaps a touch of romanticism. Arrogant, critical, self-absorbed studs get old fast and ultimately teach women the lessons they need to learn.

It is The East, and Juliet is The Sun

While a geek may never have as smooth a delivery as Romeo, his intentions can be just as pure. Relationships are about genuine effort and expressing your feelings, and if he’s trying his best to please you and romance you, any potentially awkward romantic gestures can come off as adorably sweet and well-intentioned.

“Make a characteristic list of 50+ qualities so you know who you are looking for and your subconscious knows who you’re looking for!” – Psychic Deejay ext. 5435

The “He’s Attractive and He Knows It” Complex

This popular phrase was built on those men who think that their good looks mean they are forgiven every imaginable fault and dating faux pas. Extremely attractive, suave men tend to attract women more quickly and easily, thus potentially taking a woman’s attentions for granted. Your dreamy geek could knock Sinatra out of the park with his down-to-earth approach, perspective and genuine appreciation for your company.

…But Can He Hold a Conversation

Never underestimate stimulating conversation in dating and relationships. Indeed, while the sex may be great, there’s got to be other mutual interests, and being able to carry on intellectual conversation is a big one. Not only is smart sexy, it goes a long way towards great company and is an excellent mental tool to possess when facing the myriad challenges life throws your way.

Being Handy is Also Hot

Another benefit geekdom can bring to your relationship! If your wonder-geek can fix your computer problems, score you the latest coolest gadget, or troubleshoot any electronic glitch, appreciate his expertise for the exceptional everyday asset it is!

“Don’t be desperate. Be seductive but also be willing to let what you’re wanting to attract go. It’s something about this energy that makes you more attractive.” – Psychic Leo ext. 5265

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Your Love Horoscope

Moon in Sagittarius heightens the adventurous, restless vibe in relationships at the start of the week. Commitment or work may be an issue in romance midweek, but friendly (or unusual) trysts are favored on Friday and Saturday. Even better, during the weekend a Sun-Jupiter conjunction can help you meet someone compatible, while a Mercury-Mars trine energizes brainy interactions. Best days for socializing: any day except Wednesday and Thursday.

“Astrology is a form of a person’s sprit connecting with life’s destiny for their life path.” – Psychic Vivienne ext. 5489

Aries Love Horoscope

Taking time this week to envision what you want in a partner – emotionally, mentally, materially and spiritually – will help you manifest a relationship that’s in-tune with you. A message can bring a passionate encounter on Tuesday. Friends bring delight (and romance?) on Friday or Saturday. A serene ambiance makes love bloom on Sunday.

Taurus Love Horoscope

Your ability to verbalize your feelings and ideas gets a boost after Mercury enters your sign on Wednesday (through May 23). Sharing your knowledge, humor or insights will bring admirers (and other opportunities). You’ll be especially lucky this weekend in attracting positive people, including a potential lover if that’s what you desire!

Gemini Love Horoscope

A date with your sweetie or a close friend will be especially delightful on Monday or Tuesday. If you’re solo, you’re likely to attract someone compatible. An exotic locale can ignite passion on Friday. Saturday is a good time to meet someone who has commitment potential. Mixed messages in words or actions can derail romance on Sunday.

Cancer Love Horoscope

Telling your friends what you want in a relationship may prompt an introduction to someone fabulous after Mercury enters Taurus on Wednesday (through May 23). A persistent relationship issue can unhinge romance midweek. A friend or group brings a lucky opportunity on Saturday. Travel or spirituality influences romance on Sunday.

Leo Love Horoscope

Passion sizzles at the start of the week, when romance can be found at a party, club or restaurant. Love slows down midweek but accelerates once again by Friday or Saturday, when you’re likely to meet someone compatible during a public event or career-related activity. Using your imagination fires up passion on Sunday!

Virgo Love Horoscope

Sharing your playful side during a rendezvous at your abode is a surefire way to heat up passion on Monday or Tuesday. A clash of wills can unhinge love midweek. Mercury entering Taurus on Wednesday (through May 23) may bring romance through a class, online source or spiritual community. Meeting someone special is especially likely this weekend.

Libra Love Horoscope

Your eloquence in expressing your feelings inspires romance at the beginning of the week, but you’ll need all the insights and humor at your disposal during some emotional stress midweek. If your heart is open, your powers of attraction will draw a romantic encounter on Friday or Saturday, when a party or performance brings/inspires love.

Scorpio Love Horoscope

Mercury entering Taurus on Wednesday (through May 23) can inspire some positive discussions with your sweetie about commitment, sharing or fairness. Some compromise may be needed, especially if a clash of wills arises midweek. The Sun-Jupiter conjunction on Sunday is a lucky influence for establishing a commitment or meeting someone compatible.

Sagittarius Love Horoscope

You’ll be the center of attention on Monday and especially Tuesday, when flirting or a heartfelt message can bring the desired result. Express yourself! Love will likely feel stodgy midweek. Your words are once again the source of a romantic liaison on Friday or Saturday. An imaginative or artsy ambiance can inspire passion on Sunday.

“Astrology is our life’s blueprint  reflected by the stars.” – Psychic Alison ext. 9885

Capricorn Love Horoscope

Discussing the past and listening to your intuition at the start of the week can bring a startling insight about your love life. Some turmoil may arise midweek. Going with the flow will help you meet new people on Friday and Saturday. Also, the Sun-Jupiter conjunction this weekend is a lucky influence for meeting someone special!

Aquarius Love Horoscope

Spending time with friends or participating in a group project can bring a romantic encounter on Monday or Tuesday. Getting to the source of the problem will free you emotionally if a relationship issue from the past arises midweek. Your uniqueness draws admirers on Friday and Saturday. Hosting a party will energize you on Sunday!

Pisces Love Horoscope

Getting out and being seen will help you attract a potential paramour at the start of the week. Mercury entering Taurus on Wednesday (through May 23) energizes your brainpower. As such, sharing your knowledge, humor and insights will attract love (and other opportunities), especially this weekend. A trip or class can bring romance as well.

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Your Career Horoscope

During this year of dynamic, game-changing events for each of us, the week of May 7-13 is about nurturing those amazing new ideas and projects you’re working on developing. While this is a week of forward motion, it is also a week to make certain that you are reaching others with your ideas. “Bounce off” coworkers without giving away your plan. Once they start showing interest it will be time to present the idea to the decision-makers.

This month unfolds to more spectacular surprises for all signs. In the mean time, this week is perfect for building your future and learning more about supporting others through emotional ups and downs while maintaining your own equilibrium – perfect for making you a better leader or independent operator.

Aries

About that idea you have on Monday the 7th that seems so brilliant to you – well, it is that brilliant! But before you demand a meeting with the boss, take a little time to observe your environment. There are heavy-duty passions and power-plays taking place that you may not be aware of. Once emotions die down it will be time to take action.

“Astrology identifies our energy that we will follow, unless we are made aware of it we will make mistakes which could have been consciously avoided and not expanded more on the exciting opportunities that await each of us.” – Psychic Alison ext. 9885

Taurus

This is a great week to show the genuine heart and compassion your personal style has and your devotion to the company. Best of all, have heart and compassion for yourself and all you have given if others are too busy to notice. They’ll come around, probably on Wednesday the 9th when someone will commend you on how creative you’ve been.

Gemini

Network, network, network! There is a lot going on with people emotionally, and you might even find yourself feeling a little disillusioned by your boss or someone you admire. Everybody has bad days, even you – so this will be an opportunity to make someone feel better.

Cancer

Surprises at work and in partnerships are probably becoming almost commonplace to you. Since you can “feel” what’s going on in the room, you can actually take advantage of the situation. Just be prepared for some jealousy projected onto you in the middle of the week and use your gentle nature to diffuse the situation.

Leo

You begin the week with a burst of energy and insight. While you might think things aren’t moving quickly enough, you will likely have a leadership role. That team-leading position, if you approach it with generosity and compassion, could really establish you.

Virgo

You are powerfully creative at this time and, while you are enjoying this productivity, your usual precision occasionally eludes you no matter how hard you try. Don’t worry about this. Your usual boundaries are being adjusted for opportunities in the future.

Libra

While your career hasn’t quite been going as planned for the last year or so, the key to a great future is education and considering international markets. You’ll see real benefits from these areas.

Scorpio

While there hasn’t been a dull moment in the workplace, you’ll see some relief from the chaos in the near future. Focus on creative pursuits and they will bring fruition. A creative partnership could be beneficial as well.

Sagittarius

The week starts with high energy, high passion and high emotion. Be certain to consider that someone in the workplace will be prone to mood swings, even feeling “wounded” at some point. Be sure to include them in your good humor and positive attitude.

Capricorn

People have been amazed at your powerful self-expression lately, along with your truly creative ideas. While the responsibility load has been heavy, you have been up to it. Midweek brings the intensity and surprises with positive changes in the end.

“An astrologer can see from several aspects in a chart, short and long term compatibility between friends, family members, business partners, as well as love and marriage partners.” – Psychic Faith ext. 9608

Aquarius

Partners in projects have been anxious, quite likely about money. On the other hand, an alliance at work, along with your usual masterful networking could serve you well, especially early in the week.

Pisces

This week will begin with your feeling a bit unsettled and the dramas at work aren’t comfortable for your particularly sensitive state. Your intuition is overwhelming you, yet what you are projecting to others is totally intriguing. Use it to your advantage.

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Following Your Heart, Not Others’ Expectations

Some of the most heartbreaking questions I get come from ladies who are in love with other ladies who are married. To men. To complicate matters further, there are children. There are relatives of the married lady who expect the lady to stay married, raise the children, have a good marriage and otherwise conform to what they feel is the “right” way to be. Two people have fallen in love with each other and have a difficult situation to work with.

I want to say that I have a real fondness for the gays and lesbians who call me. I can identify with their pain and frustration and greatly admire their very real desire to have a permanent commitment and a forever life with someone. Gays and lesbians who call always seem to me to be very perceptive, very patient and very real in their feelings. A lot of the time they just want to know how long they should wait for their feelings to be reciprocated or if indeed, they should give up and move on.

One lady (call her Susan) called this week and outlined her situation. She was in love with another lady (call her Nancy). They had been friends for some time, but it had recently developed into something more. If they did not speak every day it was a real loss felt by both of them. They shared many similar goals, dreams and each had attributes that complemented those of the other. The woman who was married felt more fulfilled, mentally and emotionally, in this relationship that she ever had in her marriage. Her husband appeared to me to be somewhat emotionally abusive, too, which certainly did not further the marital relationship in any way.

The problem was that Nancy did not feel that she had the strength (or the resources) to not only leave her husband but to reveal to her relatives that she was in love with Susan. She also felt that her husband would do his best to blacken her image with the children, as he was a very rigid individual. Nancy could only visualize a future of misery where she was shunned by her relatives, possibly friends as well as her children. She just did not know what she could do to follow her heart in a way that was not destructive to many relationships.

Susan had not spoken with Nancy for a week. They were trying to see if a separation would accomplish anything positive for them. Susan wanted to know if Nancy missed her and thought of her or was she somehow re-establishing a bond with her husband.

Well, of course Nancy thought constantly of Susan and missed her desperately. She wanted the contact with Susan, I could tell her, but was honestly trying to see if she could build a better marriage with her husband. She felt a lot of guilt because she felt she was reneging on her marriage “promise” coupled with the belief that many relationships would be ruined if she opted out of her marriage and into a relationship with Susan. She also felt guilty because she was happy when she was with Susan and did not feel she deserved to be that happy.

Life being what it is, we all end up either stepping forward to make choices or life will make those choices for us, in the end. I could see that Nancy was trying to preserve what she had and felt a very strong obligation to try to make others around her happy. Her own happiness came last on the list as she had a very strong moral code that involved not inflicting pain. She was also very unselfish and wanted the best for everyone. Her children and her family were her life.

Nancy’s husband was not an especially nice guy, according to what I saw. He was very controlling and did not consider Nancy a valuable part of his existence. Rather, he saw her just as a part of the jigsaw puzzle that made up his life, a part that he felt free to rearrange when it suited him. He was not what I saw to be a bad person, just someone who was controlling and totally unable to consider what others might want or feel, especially if he felt it detrimental to his happiness. He did not want a mate participating in a relationship – he wanted a person to fulfill all of his expectations.

We have Susan, being patient and loving. We have Nancy, who wants the best for all concerned and puts herself last. We lastly have Nancy’s husband, who wants what he wants which is pretty much what he thinks he needs.

I saw a very complex, stressful, challenging and (to me), sad situation going on here. As I told Susan, this is not a matter of who “should” do what they think is right. This is a matter of choices to be made.

So, there are two paths than can be followed. One, Nancy can pick the tougher path and elect to be with Susan, who she loves and loves her in return. With this will come a lot of heartbreak, no doubt, and broken relationships. Or, Nancy can choose to stay with her husband and try to make the best of what she has.

I am always rooting for “true love” and do my best to give true predictions if certain paths are followed. But I am always sad because either path will have hardships. The only question, really, is whether someone will follow their heart in their lives or follow the expectations of others.

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Kris from Key West asks:

Your answers are so clear and accurate to the situations. I truly hope you will address my question. I, too, am faced with a cheating fiance, who projected on me with intense jealousy. Having a past of hurtful men, what is it about me that attracted this situation? I strive to be honest and honorable, yet fall in love with bad men. This one seemed so perfect, but my intuition was blasting me with unease… I hope you can give me some of your healing insight as my tendency is to go inward and beat up on myself for being so stupid.

Psychic Red ext. 9226 Responds:

Dear Kris,

You can go inward and beat yourself up all you want – but it’s only going to make things worse, not better. So, I strongly advise that you skip that step, and go straight to the place where you understand that it’s okay to trust yourself far more and deeper than any other man, woman, or child on the planet.

You’re not stupid, Kris. You’re a kind, loving, trusting, sympathetic person. Okay, so you’ve made some bad choices. Who hasn’t? But the more you punish yourself, and the more you feel on some deeper level that you deserve “less than,” you’re increasing your chances of making the same mistakes.

It’s hard to trust your intuition when it comes to your own life. (Trust me, I know…) You’re too close to every situation, and that makes you subjective, not objective. You look at warning signs in terms of “him” and “his issues or flaws,” and your nature compels you to forgive, accept, or overlook some things. So you keep the faith, keep the trust, and the merry-go-round keeps spinning…

Men and women are both predators and prey. We might not like to admit this, but it’s true. Unfortunately, it seems that the predominant predator personalities out there are really good at sizing up whom they can manipulate the most. The relationships you’ve experienced seem to share one very strong common denominator – all of your loves have been damaged, manipulative souls – and the pattern has weighted you a bit more on the “prey” side of things. Unfortunately, when the predators find you, your ability to recognize that you’re a good person encourages you to open the door and let them in. You honor love, loyalty, and the goodness that resides in every person, so you tend to disregard your intuition out of your desire of a great, loving partner.

I don’t want to get all Freudian, but some of the issues and hurts you experienced in childhood have influenced your ability to be clearly objective when it comes to matters of the heart. These are issues you can work through. When you do, you will find that your energy shifts and you will be drawing people to you who share a stronger emotional and moral base. You will also learn to recognize the difference between being attracted to the individual or the individual’s potential. You see a lot in people, which is a beautiful thing, but you haven’t quite learned how or when to be wary of those who have yet to grow into their potential.

If there is an up-side to all the bad things you’ve been through and experienced in your search for love, it’s this: Your soulmate is coming. So while you may want to look at things like there’s something that you’re doing wrong or that maybe you aren’t meant to have what seemingly comes easily to others, I wouldn’t advise it. All self-flagellation does is give you some kind of justification for brutalizing yourself for not having achieved perfection. Instead, try to recognize that fear and old pain have been your tour guides on your romantic journeys, and fire them.

You have a good life, relationship, and marriage ahead of you. True, you haven’t met the right guy yet, just some pretty crappy placeholders. Since you still have some time to kill before you meet your true mate, take the time to learn how to be gentle with yourself. A therapist or hypnotherapist, particularly, can help you to release the fear and pain you hold inside, as well as free you from some other concepts that really no longer serve you. Through your transformation, with or without help, you will see and trust people for who they are and what they’ve earned, not who they have the potential to be.

The sooner you learn to trust your gut, the better off and happier you will be. In the meantime, move forward in your life knowing that the suffering you’ve endured in your relationships will be balanced out by broad shouldered, intelligent, successful honey of a reward in 2014!

I do hope this helps you.

Brightest Blessings,

Red

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Hint: It’s the Woman’s Fault

Nahush asks:

I read your article on the parasitic male. I want to know about the parasitic female. Now, I say that, because I have had an experience in life where the female has come into my social setting, taken over and made me feel like an outsider. I believe women have too much power in a social setting these days, and men just don’t have enough. I also feel like if I go for the girl of my dreams, everybody around her will support her. If I find out she’s not for me, then I am the one to blame, and I will lose all my friends. We all know life is unfair, but why does it have to be such a hard life for men?

Liam’s Response:

Greetings, Nahush. I hope I can help you see things from a different angle. Altering a habitual point of view can be a frightening prospect, but you seem to me to be a spirited sort of fellow, so perhaps the attempt won’t be such a big deal for you. All our perceptions come to us by way of contrast… of opposition… weight and counter-weight. For every considered perception, there is an opposing perception in play, and the only thing that makes one more valid than the other is where the individual chooses to put their sense of value. You can flip the switch at any time and see things from the other side, if you only want to. To deal first with your question regarding women and parasitic behavior, I feel it must be pointed out that human beings could quite easily be deemed a very parasitic species in general. Certainly there can be no doubt that all human beings are opportunistic to the extreme and gender has no monopoly on bad behavior. But I want you, in particular, to remember something very important. In sociology, it is considered illogical to draw conclusions about a certain group when that group has historically suffered under a yoke of cultural oppression. In other words, if one group has had to utilize undesirable modes of operation in order to manage social survival over several thousand years, it’s a bit unfair for members of the oppressing group to suggest that those behaviors are somehow native to the oppressed group’s nature. And make no mistake about it, my friend, women are by far the most oppressed and abused group of human beings in history. But I digress. To return to your situation specifically, I feel what we have here is a simply a case of projection. It seems to be all about personal misunderstanding… about one woman who just really pissed you off.

Believe it or not, people who hurt us, who insult or degrade us in the social game, don’t generally mean to do so. When people are offended, their first reaction is to sincerely believe that the culprit set out with evil intent on some malicious and maniacal quest to do them wrong. Our culture has a dualistic concept of divinity that supports this black and white viewpoint, the good vs. evil paradigm… A steady diet of Disney films and ardent, media supported nationalism don’t help matters. The lady presented in your scenario – the one who took all your friends and turned you into an alienated pariah – was not intending to harm you. Indeed, I sense that from her perspective that things didn’t appear anything like what you describe. In fact, I see that from her side of the situation that you were oddly sensitive, fearful of her involvement with your friends to such a point that you became difficult for everybody. It may very well be that it wasn’t her that made you unpopular. Your jealousy of her getting any of the attention you determined to be rightfully “yours” made you rude and not so much fun for her (or anyone else) to be around. Once again, this is only a differing point of view. But it is one I want you to consider. You don’t have to accept it as your own. Just play with it a bit. The point is you were so convinced a certain thing was happening that it became your truth. And now that subjective “truth” is festering in your soul and ruining your life. You have become entirely too wrapped up in yourself, and it’s not doing you a bit of good. You can’t see other people’s positions… you can’t even ask yourself how they must feel. I suggest you forget about finding a lady love for now. You’ve a long way to go before you’re ready for that. And you can start out by getting beyond yourself. Take an interest in other people for a change, and let go of all that anger you’re harboring toward the girl you think wronged you. And while you’re at it, quit taking everything so damned seriously. This bit of cinema we call life isn’t set up on an infinite reel, and you’re wasting a whole lot of precious time. For the future, keep the words of Don Quixote in mind, “Be kind to all women, to all men just.”

Liam

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Love Can Be Felt in the Afterlife

Alma in Laredo, Texas writes:

My husband and I had been separated for more than 20 years. He passed away on Easter, and the next night I dreamed of him. In my dream, I am sitting on the floor, weeping. He turns to tell me not to cry, and then bends down and kisses me on my chest, right below my chin. I wake up crying uncontrollably.

I did get to tell him I loved him the day before he passed. He really couldn’t speak well, but I understood him when he replied, “Love you.” Still, it just breaks my heart that we never really spoke all those years. I didn’t get to tell him all that had to be said, and now I’ll carry this till my time comes. If there was a way for me to speak with or see him one more time, I would embrace him and tell him that I and both his sons love him. He must have suffered a lot at the end, and I know now it’s too late, but I should have been there for him. He was my first love, and although we were separated, he was still my husband and the father of our two sons.

“In the flutter of a sleeping eye you can live a lifetime.” – Psychic Reba ext. 5508

Hello Alma,

I’m so sorry for your loss. Please take comfort in knowing that your husband can feel your love in the afterlife. I know you’d rather tell him in person what is in your heart, but he can hear you if you speak to him. And please don’t be too hard on yourself for not being there when he was ill. Relationships can be complicated. I’m sure the separation was right for both of you at the time. Perhaps being alone was a lesson he needed to learn. What’s most important is that you were able to share such a special moment with him at his deathbed. What a blessing! The dream confirmed that he understands your grief and remorse. I think the kiss was an act of love and forgiveness. Certainly, your love sent him on his way with a lighter heart. I hope that knowledge will lift your heart as well.

Sweet dreams,

Cortney

 “Love could mean several different things for different people.” – Psychic Snow ext. 9383

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Will Your Libido be in Overdrive This Month?

When it comes to sex and the signs, inspiration can come from many places. First, the dry news: Mars will be in virile Virgo, and on the 13th the Sun conjuncts Jupiter in Taurus while Mercury, Mars and Pluto form a hot trine; it’s a five-star day. Venus, the love planet, turns retrograde on May 15. The Sun’s energy represents our self-expression, and on May 20, as it enters Gemini, it forms a new Moon solar eclipse. Now, for the juicy news:

Aries

The eclipse in your third house could mean one hot weekend getaway. Don’t forget to pack that naughty French maid outfit for a little room service role play. Guys, you can deliver room service, too. You know you love it.

Taurus

Use your Venusian wiles on the 13th and do the kinky things that you’ve only dreamed about. Mercury in your sign makes you a charmer and the Sun in Taurus until the 19th means you have the stamina to deliver all you promise.

Gemini

The eclipse in your sign boosts your libido into overdrive. Mercury in your 12th house May 9-23 is the perfect time to do a striptease out of that business suit and into something more comfortable and more revealing.

Cancer

Singles, take advantage of the full Moon in Scorpio. Your flirtations may get you into some hot water (via someone else’s shower in the morning). Venus retrograde works better for coupled Cancerians, who will be spending more time at home rustling the sheets.

“Every act of sex is an act of love, but being in love is not required to have an intimate experience.” – Psychic Rowan ext. 5423

Leo

Venus retrograde may bring you someone who makes you roar and purr. If you’re too busy at work this month, no reason your honey can’t stop by for a quickie dinner and date all on the conference room table.

Virgo

The earthly trine on the 13th gives you the urge to merge. That whole week’s hot for you, despite the Venus retrograde. Use Mars’ energy to get your freak on.

Libra

The eclipse makes you curious about unusual experiences. If you’re single, you could meet a foreigner in a nude drawing class. If coupled up, any arguments could lead to extraordinary make-up sex.

Scorpio

May 9-23 is the time to sweep your mate off their feet and onto the sheets. Couples will find plenty of reasons to stay in bed. Single Scorpios, get out and meet someone as kinky as you.

Sagittarius

Enjoy honeymoon sex even without the wedding, over and over again. The solar eclipse brings out your inner porn star.

Capricorn

On May 9-14, Mercury and Venus engage in some serious flirting. You should follow suit and flirt your way into some fabulous foreplay. Motivate your mate to take some time off for fun and games.

Aquarius

While Mercury is in Taurus, wear your best lingerie, but don’t plan on keeping anything on long. Singles that mingle prior to the Venus retrograde could get lucky, too.

“Sex is physical, love is spiritual. You can have sex without love and love without sex; but it’s most rewarding when both exist simultaneously.” – Psychic Rivers ext. 5273

Pisces

Take a road trip in early May and rediscover the magic of the backseat. Single or not, you’ll have no trouble finding a willing partner.

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See Life’s Lessons in Your Rear-View Mirror

Rumki from Dhaka asks:

I went through a very desolate childhood. My only relationship ended two months ago. I am going through emotional pain and physical sickness. I try to find out the lesson offered by this broken relationship but cant find any. Can you please tell me what to do? I am feeling so overwhelmed with stress and depression. Can you please show a ray of hope for the future? Thanks.

Dear Rumki,

Sometimes when we’re looking for the lesson, we won’t be able to find it. It’s like looking at the proverbial needle in the haystack. Lessons are always learned once we have put a certain distance between the situation and ourselves, and can look at it subjectively. Hence, please stop obsessing over what went wrong. Instead, try to figure out what makes you happy in life. Try remembering what makes you smile and what motivates you in life.

I find meditation a great way to look deep within for whatever it is I may have to learn about myself at the moment. Also, when things go wrong for me, I hold on to all the things that really mean the world to me; namely the things that do not require an outside source. Also, things that I have control over and things that I can actively make happen. For me these things include, besides meditating, doing yoga, taking a bike ride to the beach, taking a walk, talking to a friend, writing, reading and whatever else comes to mind. It’s sometimes difficult to get the energy to do anything when one is depressed, but it’s possible to get the courage to do something, if you put a little willpower in. Also, if the depression gets too hard to handle, do not hesitate to see a professional. There is no shame in asking for help!

I would highly suggest that you find what makes you happy, period. Do not put all of your stock in any one person, as people are not perfect and at times, will fail you. When you make all your happiness dependent on another, you will only get disappointed. And it is never fair to expect someone else to be solely responsible for your feelings or self-worth.

“For each and every dream we have in our heart, we have to be 100 percent honest with ourselves that we are ready to accept it into our life.” – Psychic Claire ext. 5242

Know that no matter how sad the situation may seem right now, things always do get better. Time truly does heal all wounds and what goes down, will always come back up again. You can’t go back in time to change the past. You can, however, determine how your future is supposed to look and take the necessary steps to make it happen. Life, in the end, always has a way of balancing itself out again, so keep reminding yourself that, “This, too, shall pass.” Good luck, my friend, and chin up.

“It’s not about making someone else happy or them making you happy. You have to be satisfied and happy with yourself and your own life – you have to feel whole. When you feel whole you will automatically put out the type of energy which will also attract a person that they themselves are whole. Thus, two wholes can come together and form a greater whole – this is far more powerful than two parts trying to make but a single whole.” - Hayden ext. 5424

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Can You Pick Up the Pieces?

Cheating wrecks many marriages. However, some couples manage to bounce back. What is it that makes some couples resilient to infidelity and some not-so-much? And how can one rebuild their partnership?

The Huffington Post reports:

Is it possible to repair a relationship after infidelity?

While it may be a tough road to recovery, many couples do rebuild their marriages after affairs.

In fact, Wall Street Journal columnist Elizabeth Bernstein recently reported that up to 80 percent of couples survive infidelity. Bernstein stopped by WSJ’s show “Lunch Break” Monday to explain the difference between couples who stay together after infidelity and those who ultimately split up.

“The couples who want to make it want to make it. And they want to make it because they do truly love each other, or they feel that they will come back to loving each other,” said Bernstein, whose article “Back To Happily Ever After” was published on Tuesday. “They’re not staying for the kids, they’re not staying for the family or the money, or something else. They’re staying for each other.

According to Bernstein, there are other factors that come into play when deciding to stay in the relationship, like the length of the affair and the emotional involvement of the spouse who was unfaithful, to name a few.

And despite the fact that cheating is the ultimate deal-breaker for many couples, Jay Lebow, a psychologist and clinical professor at the Family Institute at Northwestern University in Evanston, Ill., told WSJ that studies in the past have indicated that couples in marital therapy dealing with infidelity were just as successful as couples for whom no cheating was involved.

Watch the video above to learn more about marriage and infidelity.

What do you think—what does it take for a couple to survive infidelity?

“Real trust takes real time.” - Reed ext. 5105

“You will become independent again. You will start to smile again, embarking on the new foundation that you are building.  As time passes you will even feel like dating again.” - Asia ext. 5486

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Full Moon Alert

This weekend, love will be intense, and relationships will reach new heights. I grew up hearing a superstition that goes like this – when someone says something and someone sneezes afterward, it means that the statement made is true. Well, my dears, May is here, the flowers are in full bloom and the allergies are giving way to lots of sneezes, making this one of the truest months on record.

Ah! The planet of love, Venus, being the ruler of Taurus and Libra, brings this weekend in with spring fever. Feeling the loving vibrations makes this a time for lovers and lots and lots of good love-making as the Moon sways into Scorpio Friday evening. It settles in Scorpio for Saturday then Sunday night it shifts into the passionate, protective sign of Sagittarius.

Aries

Getting out and getting out of your head proves to be a good thing as you embark on a weekend that will be one to remember. An engagement, a wedding or a party will enhance your romantic side, which will be sure to please even the toughest of partners.

Taurus

You will not be moving about as you usually do over this weekend. Calling someone you love to visit with seems to serve you well. A good energy boost helps you to find your balance, just take it easy so that you do not wear yourself out.

Gemini

Having too many people wanting to be with you makes your head spin. Focus only on the one you love. Romancing, dancing, playing and watching your favorite chick flick will be fun and sets the mood for Saturday night when your energy fizzles out leaving you at the mercy of the person who loves you the most.

Cancer

Your nurturing nature is out in full force this weekend. If you are a single Cancer, you will not be this weekend. Perhaps even meeting someone very special will be the magic you need to fall in love. This earthy loving weekend will be one to remember – take pictures to keep the memories alive.

Leo

Friday weighs heavy on your mind, be it from work or from having to make plans for the weekend. You find yourself tired, yet you move forward with that sunny attitude that keeps you on the A list in your loved ones’ lives. Sunday calms down, and you get to spend private time with the one you love.

Virgo

Every once in awhile you do not have to rack you brains for answers. This weekend you ease into good times effortlessly. Those who love you flock to your side, not giving you much privacy. It is all good, as you share stories about how you met all the loved ones in your life.

Libra

Well, hello Libra, this is the time of your life. Love, happiness and shopping for things you adore and spending time with your favorite people all seem to manifest without any disruption. How does it get any better than this?

Scorpio

Hello lovers, the Moon is talking to you, and the feeling of romance could not be any stronger. Making plans for a hot date is perfect timing. The romantic edge you have this weekend will prove to be very effective in stabilizing a relationship that you have been wanting for a long time.

Sagittarius

Although keeping a low profile is highly recommended, it is not going to happen. So with that said, have fun but allow others to take the lead and make the plans. You will have your turn to forge ahead with your ideas in the week to come.

Capricorn

Being tired from a long workweek makes Friday night a welcomed time. A surge of mental energy propels you to take on a task you have dodged for months now. Knowing how the Capricorn loves organization, you will probably start spring-cleaning, but your nights will be left for love.

Aquarius

Romance is your middle name. You will have no problem melting into the energy of the birds and the bees. A fine dining experience, a romantic walk and a few nights of loving energy make this weekend a favorite for the month. If you are single, don’t worry, love will find you, too.

Pisces

All is well in Pisces-land. A loving weekend with the accent on spirituality, you find that those you love are in agreement with whatever you want to do. Sprucing up the bedroom with fresh flowers and new sheets allows your romance to bloom to new heights.

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Will Your Relationship End Up in the Crapper?

Many relationships are plagued with low potential. The biggest problem with this is it’s you who is usually the last to know about it, and you often face this discovery in one of the worst possible ways (text break up, catch your partner cheating, etc.). To help you ease into a new sense of self-discovery, here are a few of the important guidelines, which seem to explain the difference between happily ever after and crappily in misery again.

The Starry-Eyed Surprise

Three of the biggest reasons why couples break up can be summed up in these points:

• Narcissism – One partner is too busy loving themselves (or attempting to love themselves), and they don’t seem to have any time leftover to love you.

• How well you really know your partner – In other words, how much of your opinion is based on fantasy (ideal perception) and how much is based on months (years) of actual experience?

• Have you accepted your partner’s faults – Do you honestly believe that they are really a good match for you?

The Narcissist

These points are all based on longitudinal scientific studies that have looked at the success rate of various marriages over the course of several years. What they have found is that a narcissistic partner is like oil to water when it comes to a happy relationship/marriage. The traits to avoid in women are those who wear skimpy clothing to gain attention and men who base their self-esteem off the women they are with (trophy wife/girlfriend).

“Attracting sex is simple. The hard part is when someone believes that sex and love are the same or that one will naturally lead to the other.”  – Psychic Reed ext. 5105

This is the part where you have to be honest with yourself about your own potential, as well as your partner’s. Studies suggest that women who routinely dress provocatively, are more susceptible to cheating, and their chance of a breakup is also higher than average. The belief is that this personality type feels more entitled to share themselves with various partners (in particular, when a relationship is going through a rocky time).

Narcissists cannot always be identified by their clothing preference. However, emotional instability will be one of your next biggest clues. The Narcissistic male bounces between moments of grandiose highs and depressive lows. It is during these bouts with low self-esteem that these guys stray to the other side of the fence in order to boost confidence levels. It’s difficult to love someone else when you are always competing for the love of yourself.

Full Partner Disclosure

In a 13-year longitudinal study at the University of Texas, researchers concluded that couples who were aware of each other’s strengths and weaknesses were most likely to stay together. This not only meant that each person had to look at the other with non-tinted eyewear, but they had to be honest with their partner about who they are. Some of this is based on time (the number of years you’ve known each other) and the other portion is based on your ability to see the relationship for what it is.

Some couples get caught up in the romance and great sex of their relationships and fall in love with an ideal image of their partner. There is a difference between romance and passion, which can be summed up by the amount of stability you feel in your relationship. Passion breeds anxiety and excitement when you are apart from your lover, while romance maintains stability regardless of whether you’re together or apart. If you fail to get beyond this ideal image, your relationship will be unlikely to reach the seven-year itch.

“Communication is the key to confidence. Know yourself, find your voice, speak up and be decisive.” – Psychic Deejay ext. 5435

Protective Idealization

We know that couples stay together the longest when they know each other. However, new research suggests that couples also fare best when they actually do idealize one another as the perfect partner. Okay, so wait a minute. I thought we already established that idealizing your partner was bad. We did, and there is an important point missing from the initial conclusion of this research, as reported in the journal of Psychological Science.

As it turns out, it is not idealizing your partner that protects your relationships as much as it is accepting your partner for who they are and then adjusting your idealization to meet this reality. Once again, it comes down to being honest with yourself about the relationship. In other words, if you can stare at your partner’s big wart on their nose (accept that they’re never on time, they hate Barry Manilow, etc.) and admit that you wouldn’t want them any other way, then you have successfully accomplished what is known as protective idealization – which is a big step towards creating a long-standing relationship with anyone!

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Be Heard Through Their Frustration

At the height of an emotionally charged discussion, you might feel like yelling, “Will you please just shut up and listen!” But that tactic most likely won’t achieve what you want to accomplish—to be heard. Instead, use these tips and techniques to get your point across to your loved ones.

Elements of Communication

With all forms of communication, there is a message, a sender of that message, a receiver, and a method of sending the message. Sounds simple, right? However, anywhere along that loop, there can be a breakdown. Even though you think you have an important message to communicate, you might not get the type of response you want from the receiver. Although each situation is unique, there are some common reasons why communication fails.

Talking Too Much

If you want someone to listen to you, avoid rambling or bringing up irrelevant issues. Also, if you want to talk about a major issue that’s been on your mind for a long time, avoid presenting everything all at once without any warning. Psychic Reed ext. 5105 explains: “It is sometimes best to talk about it a little, and then let the other person have the same opportunity that you had—to process their thoughts, sleep on it, look at different angles, then return to the discussion.” Adds Psychic Gina Rose ext. 9500: “Keep it short and to the point. If the other person is really interested, they’ll come back and want more details.”

Being Too Blunt

On the other hand, be careful about being too blunt. There is a saying from the Vedanta philosophy that advises, “Speak the truth, but not a harsh truth. Speak kindly, but not an untruth.” Although honesty is important, keep in mind that the receiver might have some defenses in place to help protect him or her from being hurt.

In his book, Why Am I Afraid to Tell You Who I Am? John Powell suggests a couple of ways to gently approach your loved one. For example, you could say: “I really don’t know why… maybe it’s my streak of cowardice… but I feel afraid to tell you something, and yet I know that I must be honest with you… This is the truth as I see it…”

Or try this: “I don’t know why this bothers me, but it does… I guess that I am just hypersensitive, and I really don’t mean to imply that it is your fault, but I do feel hurt by what you are saying.”

Nagging

If the purpose of your conversation is to try and get the other person to behave differently, the book Semantics and Communication by John C. Condon, Jr., reminds us that people “seem to prefer to do things we think we want to do, not things we are told to do.” So avoid outright telling someone to do something. Instead, get the other person to feel like it’s his or her own idea.

One way to accomplish that is to reward the desired behavior whenever the person does it. For example, if you thank your honey and give him a kiss each time he helps around the house, he’ll do it more often—without you telling him to.

Not Engaging the Listener’s Emotions

To make another person care about what you’re saying, try to tap into the other’s emotions. One way to capture their emotions is to tell a story that relates to the message you want to convey. In the book Tell to Win by Peter Guber, CNN journalist Anderson Cooper talks about the power of storytelling.

“Even if your only goal is for them to hear you, you still need to move their emotions,” he remarks. During Cooper’s news coverage of Hurricane Katrina, he broke from journalistic tradition and showed his emotions while reporting. As a result, his ratings shot up, and viewers couldn’t get enough of him. His popular style of reporting, later dubbed “emo-journalism,” opened the door for other journalists to show their emotions and, thus, engage their audience’s emotions, too.

And remember that the emotions your story inspires don’t necessarily have to be sad or heartwarming. Some of the shortest and most poignant stories are what we call “jokes.” If you can think of a good “a guy walks into a bar” joke that tickles your listener’s sense of humor and lowers his or her defenses long enough to get your message across, then go for it.

If your creative juices aren’t flowing enough to get you started, call one of our psychics for some guidance on how to talk to your loved ones so they will listen.

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When Do You Open Up?

Trust can take a long time to build. Past incidents, infidelity, and any number of other events can sometimes make us afraid to open up to other people, even if we’re in a relationship with them!

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Is Your True Love Coming This Summer?

As the weather heats up, thoughts of love fill our heads (and hearts)! But are the stars aligned to meet your needs? Here’s your soulmate forecast for May.

Aries

While the primary focus of your month will be career and finance-oriented (with some travel and social outings thrown in), Neptune’s transit into Pisces earlier this year has a continued positive effect – you’ve learned to trust your gut. Combine this with Venus in your house of communications, and the good news is, if you do meet someone special, you’ll know it!

Taurus

While you start the month off in an especially introspective space, around the 9th, your attitude shifts toward one of more entertaining and creative engagement – including romantic prospects. The end of the month could introduce you to someone of particular interest.

Gemini

Existing relationships benefit courtesy of Venus in your sign this month, which also increases your personal magnetism. Whether it’s an old flame or a new one, your charms will not go unnoticed. That said, you’re easily distracted and won’t have clarity on the depth of the connection just yet.

Cancer

This is not the time to dive into a relationship, dear Crab, as you may come off as needy. When in doubt, keep your feelings to yourself and seek solace and advice in someone you already trust. Odds are, you’re learning a lot about yourself. Your time is coming.

“Change is always to be welcomed rather than feared because it leads to the best relationship choices and the greatest freedom.” – Psychic Faith ext. 9608

Leo

You’ve been busting your bottom at work lately, Leo, and as the red tape is untangled, progress is imminent. That said, it doesn’t leave a lot of time for love this month. And good thing, too. You’re already stretched to your limit! Be sure to take care of yourself as you prepare for abundance across the board.

Virgo

Take your time in love this month, Virgo. Wires will have a tendency to get crossed, and you may wind up investing in someone who isn’t worth your while. Uranus is at work shifting your relationship dynamics across the board – which may feel tumultuous, but will ultimately serve you well.

Libra

Your communication skills are particularly strong this month, Libra, and your close relationships will be especially well served. If you’re feeling the travel bug, don’t be afraid to bring a romantic prospect along – the stars suggest a connection in exotic locales.

Scorpio

May is your month for increased intimacy, stinger. You’re either hitting it off with someone or experiencing a deepened connection. It’s an ideal time for bonding, with the first half of the month particularly well suited to a discussion of feelings and intentions. Whether romantic or platonic (and this can be both), it’s time to expand your inner circle.

“Friendship is the foundation for starting over and for life companions.” – Psychic Reba ext. 5508

Sagittarius

While you may be feeling an urge to escape, amorous attention is headed your way this month. The catch is, it may or may not be of the romantic variety. Whatever the case, this is a time to create the life you want – at work or at home – and you’ll benefit from the support you receive.

Capricorn

You’re all about having fun this month, Capricorn. And while that may mean finding a connection, it’s not about deepening it just yet. Your focus is still on expanding and improving yourself… which is exactly where it should be. Live in the moment, and love the ride.

Aquarius

With Mars making you more sensitive, you’re likely to find yourself in one of two situations this month, Water Bearer. Either you’ll realize a relationship is for you, or you’ll know it’s time to end it.

Pisces

Thanks to Mars in your relationship sector, new people are bound to come into your life this month, Pisces. Whether it’s a love connection or one that is beneficial to your business, be careful not to try and exert your will too heartily. Cooperation is the key to this dynamic.

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