What does a man want in a woman? When men talk candidly about women, they sound… well, they sound a little like us. Sex may have laid a hefty claim on the male brain, but it doesn’t seem to be relevant when it comes to what he’s really looking for in a partner, which is just that – a partner. According to them, men want a counterpart they respect, a cohort who shares their interests and a confidant they can talk to. They want women to be happy with who they are and comfortable getting what they want. So listen up. Men just may be a little simpler (and more complex) than you thought.
According to the boys, men want a girl who:
Knows what she wants
Confidence is still the name of the game. Many men listed trying to hard to please others (including them) as a turn-off. Instead, women who know what they want (and aren’t afraid to ask for it) were described as attractive, sexy and desirable.
Makes me laugh
A sense of humor is as important to men as it is to women. After all, a relationship without its fair share of laughter gets old pretty quickly, if it gets started at all. Lighthearted, witty or utterly ridiculous doesn’t seem to matter, as long as you get each other’s jokes and aren’t afraid to throw dignity to the wind and get silly sometimes.
Takes care of herself
Yes, looks made the list. But no one cited “beauty” or “great legs” among his criteria. Instead, it seems that looking “put together” is essential. Men admitted that they want a woman to “put time into her appearance” and be generally neat and organized while avoiding the “high maintenance” category.
Shares my interests
If you can’t agree on what to do together, it gets complicated to be together. It is important to guys that their girls have common interests (or be open to them). Whether they’re into rock climbing or old movies, they’d much rather have you along. And even if it’s not your thing, simply being curious and open-minded about their work and hobbies can be enough to satisfy their need to be understood.
It’s actually not much of a surprise; spontaneity ranked high as a very desirable trait in a woman, though the quality earned varying definitions. For some it was the inclination to make spur-of-the-moment decisions or having a generally “adventuresome” personality. For others it was enough that a woman thought differently than they did and had the ability to surprise them with her outlook, her suggestions or her actions.
Many women get the message that men are threatened or turned off by intelligent, powerful women, but according to the source, that’s pure fiction. Guys want someone they can respect. They cited intelligence as a highly desirable quality; quite a few admitted that they preferred a woman who is more intelligent than they are. Strong really is beautiful, so put your best self forward.
Doesn’t care what I think
It’s not always what they say to our faces, but guys claim to respect a woman who does her own thing, even when it isn’t aligned with what he wants. Independence is strong and attractive, and it’s a plus when he knows you’re autonomous enough to be on your own and have a good time without him.
Tells it straight
Guys don’t want to have to play games or guess what a woman wants, so they’re drawn to honesty, sincerity and the ability to communicate clearly. If you’re straightforward about how you feel and what you want, he can react to you rather than waste time trying to gauge what’s really going on. Men aren’t exactly pros when it comes to reading our minds, and they know it. Being upfront about how you feel can make it a little easier on everyone.
Cares about me
They didn’t seem as concerned with being the sun to her earth as they were interested in women who are genuinely compassionate. While a girl who is the center of her own universe might be intriguing in the beginning, it gets old fast, and men want to be treated with kindness and respect as much as women do. They also notice how we act when it’s not about them: back-stabbing and cattiness score high as major turn-offs.
Don’t ever feel that you’re beholden to one version of yourself or that he’ll lose interest if you reveal your “dark” side. Men are strangely drawn to contradictions, and the polarities of your personality are what make you uniquely you. Let yourself be bookish and passionate, conservative but spontaneous, lighthearted and intellectual — those warring contradictions that can make you crazy can also make you mysterious and continually surprising.