All men share a secret life. It may surprise you to learn that it’s a life of the mind. It began when Cell 1 swam across the pool of primordial soup with something clever to say to Cell 2, and it has propelled men toward the opposite sex ever since. It’s the way a guy thinks about sex, and under no circumstances – should it be revealed to women.
Often, when my girl friends seek advice on their confusion and frustration with male behavior, I find myself explaining truths about the male mind’s sexual obsession. They are hard, sad, and embarrassing…for all parties. Sometimes they laugh. Sometimes they refuse to believe me. But usually I’m just looked at with pity.
Here’s what I tell them:
· For a guy to see a woman he is attracted to is to undress and imagine her in bed with him.
Sexual fantasies flicker through a guy’s mind more than he considers his next meal.
· Even if there is no sexual tension in a male-female friendship, he’s imagined sleeping with you.
Guys are wired not only to seek partners, but to consider partners who might be available to him. According to one friend of mine, “It probably happened as soon as we met, and it happens more the longer we’ve known each other.”
· For a single guy, there’s a sexual subtext to every interaction with an attractive female. Even a friendly hello or name exchange.
In a guy’s mind, it makes him one step closer to a sexual relationship. While this sexual tension is usually an accompanying thought to a sincere interaction, for some men it’s the whole point.
· Most men ardently distrust each other’s motivations because they know exactly how guys think. To admit this to a woman is to implicate oneself.
Instead, men wage silent wars of suspicion and jealousy in their heads.
And then comes the least believable part: That sexually-motivated thinking actually has little bearing on our relationships and behavior.
The frequency of sexual fantasies and chatter in the male mind necessarily becomes background noise to the conscious mind. This how men always think, and it doesn’t invalidate what is sacred about love, relationships or sex. Nor does it serve as an excuse for any of the bad things men do in relationships.
The healthiest way to conduct any relationship is honestly. Acting honestly means confronting truths, and it’s better to admit to and understand sexually-motivated thinking than to conceal it.
I’ve always delivered the truth to my girlfriends to help them decode male behavior and make better judgments in their relationships. I’ll be delivering it in this column for you, too.Which signals are you getting – or not getting from your guy? How can I help you decode the male mind?
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Love & Relationships
Mind, Body & Spirit
Pets and Animals
Since our relationship started over 6 years ago, my partner has been perfect in all but the bedroom and there, whilst he is cuddly and caring, sex seems to be out of the question. We get on in all areas of life apart from this and I wonder whether I should just bail out and forget it. Sex was important at the beginning of our relationship but just seems to have fizzled out! I love this man so much and he seems to love and he tells me he loves me, but I don’t think I can live without sex with someone I feel physically attracted to. The no sex stuff has gone on for 3 years now, but I don’t know what to do to change things back to how they were. Any ideas?
I may have never been married, but I want a true and most of all a trusting relationship.
All the ones I have been engaged to either were cheating on me, or lie, or on some kind of drugs. I have been single now almost 3 years now, why is it so hard to find that special person in your life?
I tend to agree with your insight on the male mind. As a very active (sexually) man in his 50′s, I have come to the place, where I really want just one lover and if you would, soul mate. Prior to my liberation which began in 2007, when the love of my life and I separated after 5 years together, I was so enamored and in love with her, no other woman ever entered my mind as to me, she was “IT”. She was sexy, beautiful, into spirituality like myself and was everything I ever wanted. When we broke up, it devastated me. I then wanted no close relationships with any woman for the fear of having my heart broken once again. I was amazed to find out that there are MANY women out there in their 40′s and early 50′s that think like men in the fact they only wanted sex and more sex. Some wanted to get serious later on and some simply wanted to shag and move on. Point in all of this, it is the women’s lib movement affected relationships more then any of us men ever expected. We/I used to believe when a woman gave herself to you, it usually meant she was attracted to you and only you and wanted to create a relationship. That is no longer the case. Some just want to have sex and move on much like the male counter parts you uncover here. I have been so affected by this behavior that I have written a book about my last four years in the crazy world of dating called, “Dating and the 50 year old man”. Times sure have changed.
Thank you for your honesty, but I think women already know this with first hand experience. This is why many women just totally give up on men and live alone. My grandmother spent her last 50 years alone, my mom has been alone 20 years and I been alone 5 years. Basically if you want a cheating man, then have one, but there is no such thing as a monogamous man, it is just not in their nature. The women’s liberation movement of the 1960′s is when women said enough is enough, I can do it all without you, and they do. What men don’t realize is women have no such handicap and think clearer and have more ability to solve problems because they can speak to either gender without undressing them and having sex with them in their mind. It will be interesting to see what kind of world women make, as the current one made solely by men really SUCKS! How men got such power I do not know, but their power is ending, and as Martha says, it’s a good thing.
The more I hear about the mysterious male mind, the more I think–so tell me how men and women are REALLY different. Maybe I was a man in a former life, but I’ve yet to be convinced that the male mind is much different from my female one–except when it comes to clutter!
my fiance flirts and makes sexual jokes with his female friends (might i add that he no longer talks to me anywhere near that way), but he claims it is all harmless?… is that really possible?
to all of the comments on here, dont walk away from this man, RUN!
I spent 12 years loving a man that was not ever capable of loving me the way I loved him.
I had to go to counseling to get through the pain.
It hurt me terribly and my family as well.
If this man cannot give you what you need, then you need to move on to find someone that can give you what you need.
Take my advice. Life is too short. Dont waste anymore of your time and energy. You deserve the best.
Men need to be the pursuer. They have to be the ones to chase. Dont give them the satisfaction of knowing you are always there. You are not! Let them GIVE you what YOU want. Dont give anymore to a man than he is willing to give you.
thank you
peace and love
Absolutely! The article reveals exactly what goes on in my head. But also … absolutely … it does not mean that men are sex-happy/hungry pigs. It’s just they way men work. For instance, my wife loves to shop … I hate it. I whine and pout if she asks me to go with her. We’ve been married for 36 years. And I’ve whined and pouted for 36 years. However, the relationship wasn’t built on shopping … nor was it built on sex. It’s just the way we are. Men think about sex, Women think about shopping. At least in our world.
I absolutely agree with you. After being with someone for most of your life it is a big challenge to make that move and anyone who has been thru this and can give advice, I would gladly welcome the feed back
Thanks a lot for your reply as I got the same problem. It made me relaxed a bit. But I am just wondering that even if I satisfy him with every way, he is still looking at other women. whenever I go out with me I cannot enjoy as it hurts me a lot. Please advise me. Thanks you in advance.
Don’t take it personally. Men are just visual beings. He is probably not just looking at the other women, he’s looking at what they are doing and at separate parts of her. It’s what they have done since they discovered themselves during puberty. The fact that he shares that part of his life with you means that he has let you “in”. Take it as a positive thing. The more you accept him and try those things with him the less he will need the outside visual stimulation. He will turn it toward you. Don’t be surprised if he wants to look at it once in a while. It’s just him being a guy. Enjoy him and try new things with him often. He chose you over all of the women in the world. Just keep reminding yourself of that. Take care and good luck.
I am very much in love with my highschool sweetheart and we recently decided to live together. Everything is perfect except he watches porn all the time… It hurts my feelings and self confidence majorly. I tried to get him to stop but he only lasted 5 days. I tried watching it with him and it made me want to cry. Seeing him look at another woman like that breaks me up inside. I don’t know what else I can do…. Help???
Thanx for the reply.
Me and this guy have never been in a relationship and I don’t think I’d say “i love him”, it’s just an infatuation and I don’t like feeling in the dark and not being able to read a situation.
After I explained that I was at the “meeting place”, just a whole bunch too late, he actually replied with a silly reply. So I think he may be just too scared to admit he has feelings. but hey, that’s just me.
I don’t have to move on, because I’m not standing still at the moment. He’s just a person that I would like to get to know in that sense and maybe see if something could come of it, but only time will learn.
I’m glad you found love again and wish you all the happiness in the world!
xxx blessings xxx
Hey Lorryann72:
I had a feeling that my boyfriend was lying to me and that he had an interest in some other woman but I couldn’t prove it. My intuition never lies so I went to a psychic to find out the truth and man she was able to tell me everything he was thinking and I was flabbergasted.
She said he did love me and didn’t want to lose me but that he was interested in this new woman he was befriending (friends only she said at the time) but he was interested in getting her romantically at some point. She told me he thought this woman was probably to good for him but he was gonna hang around her and see if he could spark her interest just like he did with me. The thing that really floored me though was she said I was his BACKUP PLAN. I have never been and never will be anyone’s backup plan. I left him in a cloud of dust and even though I still love him I love myself more and I will get over him… I would rather live alone than be 2nd best. Anyway my point is that’s how you can find out what men are really thinking, go to a psychic so your not wasting your time and putting yourself through a bunch of unecessary suffering…life is to short!
I’ve honostly just walked away from someone like that. If this has been going on for a while, step back…take a deep breath and move on! In the end, you and only you are going to get hurt. I too have heard I care about you, I too know that the other person had been hurt by his exes (funny if it is a repeating pattern…maybe it’s not always the exes fault!. It sounds like what I’ve been told several times…he’s getting the fun and pleasure without the work. He knows you will keep coming back to him, in fact he probably expects it. I’m not saying he doesn’t care, just not in the same way you care about him! In my case I had one door close and one door open shortly after.
I finally do have someone that actually cares, but due to situations beyound my control we’ve both decided to take things slow. This is another person that has been there, and I know now has been waiting for me for at least a year now! As he put it, patients does wonders! What amazes me, this person happens to be my ex and the father of our two kids. We obviosly needed to learn some things on our own to finally understand some things about each other.
I wish you luck, walk away and if its meant to be it will happen, if not give it time and see if you can be at least friends again. I know the struggle of dropping someone you care and love about out of your life, but from what I have learned lately, sometimes the pain is better to deal with then more misery!
I am sorry and know where you are going through. Don’t hold back and blaim yourself in being to clingy or that you could sound desperate. The way you feel shows that he is not giving you enough respect and attention. If he really loves you, he should respect and care about how you feel and respond to you. You should find out and talk to him to find out how serious he is. Better you find out now and be able to move on. It will hurt now but it will hurt even more later and you keep hurting yourself in guessing how he might feel or don’t feel. Confront him as soon as possible and find out. I wish you the best and hope he is sincere. Sometimes Guys are scared about how to deal with emotions. But that doesn’t mean he can ignore you. There is always a way to make time, no matter how busy you are.
Again, wish you the best! You deserve it
Dear Susan, first of all I think many of us were in your shoes, also it’s not your fault or your imperfection, especially in your situation. Telling him what you feel won’t change his mind, because feelings doesn’t work this way. You could act that way that it could result a feeling of soulmate and attarction, and from your post I can see that you have great personality, but if he really loves someone else, I think you should meet as many new people as you can, so you could have a chance to find your real guy. I think it’s so great that you are still capable to love someone, not many people can do it (like my grandma, who always lived alone after his husband died when she was 30), and especially not your unselfish way! You know that it takes time to forget him, but cherish yourself, meet other friends, and many-many new faces, and I’m sure some day you will find your love, and you two will have a beautiful relationship.
With love: Sushi.
Susan – If your guy is a married doctor, run the other way TODAY. No matter how sweet, encouraging or helpful he has been or you think he is, the chances are very great that he has other “patients” that he has helped in this very same way. He has a wife and kids, and no matter how lousy or wonderful his marriage is, he, his wife and kids do not need you entertaining the idea of having a life with him. You are dabbling with disaster my dear, and should you continue to encourage this relationship, you are setting yourself up some unhappy Karma to come your way. Don’t Do It!!! Men think with their P.P.’s and worry about it later. You aren’t his only “girlfriend.” Move on and find your own man, and leave this family alone.
Susan – If your guy is a married doctor, run the other way TODAY. No matter how sweet, encouraging or helpful he has been or you think he is, the chances are very great that he has other “patients” that he has helped in this very same way. He has a wife and kids, and no matter how lousy or wonderful his marriage is, he, his wife and kids do not need you entertaining the idea of having a life with him. You are dabbling with disaster my dear, and should you continue to encourage this relationship, you are setting yourself up some unhappy Karma to come your way. Don’t Do It!!! You aren’t his only “girlfriend.” Move on and find your own man, and leave this family alone.
I don’t think I understand men at all.
I thought I was, but with every guy I meet, they seem to be different, but so much the same. For example, I wrote to my boyfriend (LDR)last week about how I need to feel more that he loves me, and that he is there for me as I don’t hear from him enough,and that day I told him how I had a lump in my throat that day, and just needed to hear from him… but instead of a consolation as I was hoping, I get the “silent treatment”. Maybe he is just very busy, but I have a feeling that he is upset at what I said. If I would have written the same message to someone else, he probably would have written very very soon after receiving the message, reassuring me that he loves me and that he is there for me, etc.
How to know what’s going on? I don’t want to write to him again and sound desperate or too clingy — but his silence is hurting me deeply…
Yes! From much personal experience, tis true. It is rare to find one who will be interested totally in you before sex. Plus, over half or more men cheat.
Thanks~
Mare
So are you saying that you wont give your woman sex therefore she is cheating on you? I dated a man who’s sex drive was less than mine but that didn’t mean I was cheating on him or looking for a replacement. I tried to understand him and why he is that way. He thought I was sleeping around too, but he couldn’t be further from the truth. I often wondered if he thought that because my sex drive was stronger than his. He used sex as a weapon using it to explain why I was mad at him, that it was because he wouldn’t give me sex. I also often thought he was accusing me of sleeping around because he was doing it.
Is this even true in older men (say late 5o’s)
Dear reader,
I come to the point of observation, men in general are beast, take it or leave it, thats the truth am not offending men, actually they can be like “toys” if you would imagine how crazy he could have you(time to act,use your powerful tools ladies) you must act accordingly whichever you think best for your man you will see the outome is he will do almost everything you ask for, that is when he is crazy about you., unless otherwise he object, then change the scenario create more power tools as you can., one thing women should understand that men by nature they love to be applauded , say great things about him and they love to hear this. Basically there are many different types of approach ( passion, lust, love) it’s more of your personality & vice versa, dating a wrong guy wrong
time and wrong place is the most frustrating event.anyway regardless of women / have always the urge to have sex with the right man those qualities we hope for fall under our skin wow that would be wonderful time in our life.
Hi,I need some definite help. My guy is a married doctor.My husband died 6 months ago and my guy was there to comfort me,nothing else.He comes over every month or so,calls 3-4 times per month and nothing sexual is going on. He is very moral and I was hit my true love when I met him. I am middle aged,and have never ever been hopelessly in love like this. I was hit by a thunderbolt. He hugs me close when he leaves but that is all. He knows I care about him deeply. I have gone on to live my life but he is on my mind constantly. He has a family and loves them very much. He has never told me he cares,loves or feels anything for me. I am afraid if I tell him i am deeply in love he will run. I do not want him to leave his wife or children.I know this is wrong 4 me to feel like this–a person cannot pick who he or she falls in love with and i really fell. Help-all advice is appreciated!!!!!
Ya know you are actually correct.But I got the guy who we talked from 5am to 5am all day long finally after 5months he came to my house always said cause he lives 1 hour away and had his own construction/landscape business he couldnt get away.I know he lived alone I know there was no-one else cause I was in touch with him 24/7.Now we met he stayed 8 hrs left for work came back next day next weekend etc.Then called for thanksgiving to be with his girlfriend which he said was me never showed up.Xmass,newyear same thing still calls me promises me the world lost his place work slow asked to move in with me 2 mths go by no Rick..Stll calls every 6/9 days or so tells me to call him back I call goes to 1 ring then 5 then 2 .
What the hell is that if he is with someone else so be it but he will say NO honey practically crying!!!
Your a good man unfortunatly if she knows this you become someone she will kick around and you will be unhappy and the end result your children will suffer.Teach your children and yourself now your worth more confront her give her one more chance if you wish with consequences.Stand by your word if it meant to be it will.Remember theres a reason she turned her eye so open yours.In the end there is someone out there for all of us!!!I have been involved with someone met on line since 6/10/09 only finally met 4x.He calls now like every 6,8 days calls me honey says wants to move in but did not see him 1 holiday.I go out with other men well I can I am single but I love him it sucks.I am now giving 1 more chance on my own terms to see what this is all about.Doesnt help he is a gemini and I am cancer.Good luck!!!
Hi SadMan…
Be strong okay, you are a good man and a gentleman as well.
She will bck to you 100%, becos the important thing for a woman is, secure ,love by a man not to love a man.
Soon after her “hormone: calm then she will notice that you are the one for her.
Men could behave funny at times. I am a married woman, i love my husband so much but he has never shown any side of love to me. But l noticed he is more concerned about people outside thanme who happenes to be his wife. Just of recent he was able to connect his sister ex-girlfriend, but during our chat he told me he really love his ex-girlfriend during the year of their courtship and now he his trying to connect her back through her sister. Can someone help me out on how to handle my husband or what i need to make him love me.
hi I have been in a on again off again relationship for 6 years and I’m only 19 yes old he did his dirt abd I took him bk everytime. right now where I am in my life i’m nit happy and want to end it but everytime I try he tells me no, if he can’t have ne no one can. he don’t like my friends there for u can’t hang with them. he is my first love always will be but for some reason I Judy feel like he’s not my soulmate, I just want to be single and met other people have fun. I’m not a cheater so I can’t just go cheat on him I need so advice so please let me know something anything thank you
i was totally honest with my boyfriend til i found him wid another woman. .
There is a guy that I like, but I keep getting mixed signals from him. Once I confronted him about the relationship between us not going anywhere and we didn’t speak for 2 weeks, more from my part than his. But this last weekeend we actually had a nice conversation and he opened up to me more than he usually would. We made a date for the following night, to meet at the club, but I was a bit late and by the time I got there, he’d already gone home (or maybe he didn’t show up at all, I don’t know). But now he seems to ignore me and doesn’t text back.
Is he mad at me? I didn’t figure he liked me as much as I do him, so it would actually be a show of affection if he’s mad, wouldn’t it? Or does he actually feel nothing for me?? I don’t know anymore. He’s been hurt in a previous relationship and I think he believes that all woman are like his ex and he’s afraid of getting hurt again.
Please enlighten me, because I’m totally in the dark.
this guy doesn’t love u. if he loves u he will understand everything and willing to please u, try to ignore him dnt call dont show up u did ur part already, and he will realize. if he dnt call u in 1 month or 2 months forget about him he is not for you there are lots of guys around.
I feel as though my marriage has ended i lay beside him and look at what is left to come is there any fixing i think not it time to move on there is no love no sex and no desire to have sex wow
I don’t believe that thinking about having sex with other people, or imagining what it would be like is gender specific. Thinking about having sex with someone else can take the form of, “Oh, my God, I can’t believe they have sex” to making it a point to find pleasure in imagining that you’re having sex with someone. If we’re imagining it, it still falls in the framework of fantasy. We’re just used to thinking of fantasy as pleasurable or as a mental mode that takes us from our reality and can cause us to fear that our significant others are becoming lost to us. Our sexuality can serve us in a way where we problem solve, which has nothing to do with intercourse or truly desiring another partner. I may look at a man and get the feeling that he is not someone I would want to share my vulnerabilities with. I may look at a couple and see that the man is very attentive to the woman’s needs and imagine how I might feel if a man is that attentive to my needs. I bounce my energies off a variety of scenarios for the purpose of understanding myself better. There are times when I’ve gotten responses from myself imagining similar scenarios only to discover that what I believed I witnessed wasn’t at all what it seemed. Other times, imagining myself in relation to different scenarios, I’ve found myself feeling really good and feeling good that other people on the planet are feeling good about being good to one another. I’m connecting to a universal sense of joy and celebrating with them. I don’t want to steal their joy, I want to create more of my own and hope others feel inspired. While men may be thinking about sex all time may be true, because they’ve been offered a limited set of behaviors to indulge in, they don’t reach past the meaning of their own drives and become stunted in exploring themselves through the limits of their programming. I don’t think the problem is thinking about sex at all. I do think that men are conditioned to be continuously thinking about upgrading, therefore, who they have is never enough (by no means am I dismissing the many men who have surpassed this programming with wisdom and maturity) nor are they aware that that’s what they do. My deepest confession after all the fluff is that I want to be the pretty little girl that someone wants and I want that to be enough. What I know about myself is that I would be satisfied and I would know it if I was experiencing it. I’ve practiced that feeling many times, LOL. With the conditioning that a lot of men have, satisfaction is long ways away. I think that’s where the clash comes in. How can the insatiable please those who know what brings them satisfaction (I’m over simplifying for illustration, I’m not delusional, LOL)? While we all need to be ‘enough’ for ourselves, seeing the reflection that we’re not enough in others is still painful. Looking at the divorce rate and the current dating scene, this reflection will be repeated many times. With the repetitive nature of that kind of disappointment, anyone can be brought to question whether or not they even have the right to exist. If we can learn to untangle the mystery of who we are and share openly with each other, an end will come to second guessing ourselves,not trusting each other and demonizing one another. Maybe we stop asking the question, “What am I doing wrong?” and just simply ask ourselves “What am I doing?”
I am a truly honest guy and I really believe women lie and cheat equally to men.
I have never cheated on my wife but I am pretty sure she has not been faithful to me.
Not being mean but I believe women cant handle the real truth that they line up men as potential future mates and they do not even think this is wrong because they have not had sexual contact with their potential other mate.
I hold my marriage together for the sake of my kids.
I believe there are good women out there, its just that I will never stray and look for them.
Yes. Women and men are different. I am 41 years old. I am a woman and I am at my peak. I do not know if it is hormone related but every man i speak to can be a potential sex partner. Women think about sex to; just not as bad as the men.
He is telling you what he thinks you want to hear. Why ask him such questions? You are going to drive him into the arms of another woman. You are to insecure.
My mom have 6 kids and was married to a man at the age of 18 for 25 years. The power is getting out of a bad marriage and standing on your own two feet.
I think you and your boyfriend have issues that goes beyond what you stated on this site. Love yourself and take care of your dysfunctions before you can be with anyone. Maybe he has done you a favor.
Get rid of him. To insecure and he just does not want to be with you. He is guilty about his own faults.
Tammy ackerman said…
My boyfriend just broke up with me yesturday and now i have to move all my stuff out of the house and back to my parents. He tells me its because i didnt answer the phone when he called. I didnt hear the phone. Plus i was drinking and now he says i was cheating and that he cant believe a word i say. What should i do now, I love him and i made a mistake. I’m not perfect.
my boyfriend broke with me 3 days ago because hes telling me he dont like my ways.i did nothing wrong with our relationship, hes so very sensitive, a jealous type and more. we’re watching movie and excuse for hes going to the restroom. he never comes back, i call him hes telling hes mad on me because according to him i am viewing the man beside him and he dont like it. to be honest ive never view or see the man seated beside him. i love this man please i need your comment or suggestions how to reconcile with him. i explained everything bu8t he never believed me.
Boy that would be great to know how women have the power, after 18 years of marriage, 3 kids, and on the verge of divorce I would love to know how I could turn it around and feel like I have any power because I am pretty sure it would change the relationship and maybe even save it!
the guy ive been w for the last four year denies any fantasie or sexual thought toward all the women i accused him of he says since weve ment he hasent thought of another women or looked at another women in a sexual way he also says that they are just another mouth moving if they talk to him and he says that none of the women he hung out with or employed were atractive or pretty to him is there any way he could be telling the truth or is thier a way i could get it from him
Wow! This is one of my most fav subjects! Because men can be so mysterious. So women will never really know their partners true thoughts. Just for a quiet life! As men do tend to believe that us women `over react`about everything! So therefore it becomes practically second nature for men to lie. Its their instict. They just can`t help them selves!So I truely believe that at some point in everyones life. The book…”Men are from Mars. Women from Venus”. Should be read by LAW! LOL! Just to get an insight into just how adversely different males & females really are.
love n`hugs Ms Peachybum! xxx
By any chance were the literary agents men that wouldnt publish your book.
We are in the age of the internet !!
Turn it into a pdf – put it on the web and charge small amount for download !!
Sorted !!!
Brown Eyes,
Forget all of the self help books..the best thing that you can do is TO BE YOURSELF!!!
You can ONLY be who you are…and when you meet the right man…he will love you for being you.
You know the saying, “to the right person you can’t say the wrong thing and to the wrong person you can never say the right thing”…
AND, so far as “settling” for a cheater…NO WAY! YOU are worth more than that and I think it would just eat away at your self esteem.
Anyway, I would NOT do that. I would like “Oldee” back in my life…but not at ANY cost…certainly not my self respect or dignity.
Please don’t think that “that’s all you can get”…
Please…don’t.
A BIG HUG,
ST
Hi, just picked up on this… I have what would one call a virtual lover (me in UK and him in LA) – it didnt start like that – it just developed as we got to know each other better. (so emails do get quite personal and he has suggested that somehow we get to meet).
So with such distance between us… I ask questions on how men behave (feel more comfortable with thousands of miles of water between us asking such a thing).
What Max writes – mirrors my friends comments – now he has a “lovely wife” as he calls her and would never leave her – nice and honest.. its not like we are dating… but he also tells me about his “friends with benefits”… again – ok – I listen…(appols – read)
But what really took me by surprise was one of our last conversations – he has re-met up with “friend with benefits” … now wife dosnt get a mention.. but hes asking if I am ok with it !!!! (like hes being unfaithful to me and asking my permission if its ok with me that he sees her ????)
Can a man answer me that one !!!
Why do men always think they have to lie?????? It’s like they will tell you after youv’e caught them “Oh baby I just didnt tell you because I knew it would make you mad or you would over react when it wasn’t a big deal.” You know do they think we are stupid or what I just dont understand it you know.